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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 11:41:53 AM

Missokyst

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Great topic... and on point considering we are reaching the end of yet another year. Did I have dreams? Not really. The things I thought I might become when I was a child died in childhood. As I grew and had a family of my own my dreams were of making enough money to get things like clothes, food, or education. I loved and lost, loved and sustained, loved and mourned but continued to move forward, because for me life is not about dreams it is about being ok with who you are and how you got here.

In my life I have done a fair share of stuff. For a dyslexic, agorophobic, sadistic masochistic submissive with no clear path I have sought out a decent education, raised a loving family, had two great loves, a fine share of passion, some great adventures, and few regrets. I don't think of this as a dream but if I were to want something, it would be to find another love and to finish writing this book I have been working on over the years. The first may never happen, I hope the second one will.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 12:10:16 PM

pahunkboy

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I do have a dream.

It will be filled but could take even 10 years.

I want to move to a quieter more secluded place- with land- acreage. Even if it is just 1. You may recall that I love to garden- so this is a proving ground to get ready for the new place.

The new place- hopefully will be in my same valley- but if not- I am willing to move to another area- tho unlikely to leave Pennsylvania.

Maybe it sounds like a silly dream. If I am patient- in due time, I think I can achieve it.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 2:10:24 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

With the years we learn that we must change ourselves first and as we do, our dreams of grandiosity die as they should. All we can do is become the people we want others to thing of us as.

That's just sad. If everyone who ever dreamed of changing the world felt that the idea was too grandious and should be given up, imagine all the things in this world we wouldn't have.

My dreams of changing the world haven't died. I've been able to realize some of those dreams. They are not as earth shattering as world peace, but then those are not the types of things I wanted to achieve. Sure it is something that I hope for, but not the dream I have for myself.

It is one thing to change your dreams for whatever reason. There is nothing wrong with not even having any particular dreams you want to achieve. Personally, wanting to change the world and then giving up is just......well, like I said, sad.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 2:13:14 PM

DesFIP

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You misunderstand. You cannot start a world of peace if you are filled with hate. You cannot demand the world be without judgment if you yourself are judgmental.

It must begin with internal changes. Trying to change others and not first fixing yourself is a set up for failure.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 3:15:05 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You misunderstand. You cannot start a world of peace if you are filled with hate. You cannot demand the world be without judgment if you yourself are judgmental.

It must begin with internal changes. Trying to change others and not first fixing yourself is a set up for failure.

Changing the world does not necessarily involve changing others. The dream of single handedly creating world peace is a pipe dream. People who change the world do it one little thing at a time.

The biggest problem with the people who let their dreams of changing the world die is the fact that they don't realize that each small contibution adds up to big change. I didn't like the way the family law statutes were in my state, so I took part in getting some of those statutes changed. Things still aren't perfect, but that small change made a difference and was a step towards other changes.

The misconception that helping one person doesn't change the world or that one person won't make much difference is what causes apathy and people sitting around doing nothing because it isn't that their dreams are too big, but that they don't really understand what to do in the first place.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 6:21:21 PM

sophia37

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I have goals more than I have dreams. But they move me none the less.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 9:49:10 PM

Termyn8or

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Hmmmmmm, can we really define the difference between a goal and a dream ? Even defining the difference between an engine and a motor can be difficult.

Because it is Dec. 25th and I am hopped up on tryptopan (among other things) I will take a stab at it.

My goal is to keep my good credit and be able to afford the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed. Actually I do have some desires to please others, but to just say it straight out, I am out to please myself first.

On the other hand is my dream. Now that would more than likely entail a spaceship. One that would take me away from all this and bring me to a world of discovery, of a different culture totally, of different technology. To explore and really learn from a larger scope. To go beyond where no Man has gone before so to speak. To see the miracles of the universe in action, watch a supernova rather than a super movie of a nova.

To actually meet an alien species and teach one another past the language barrier, and share our secrets of the universe, as they share their's. A challenge for sure, but I think I am pretty careful in what I ask for.

Bah, you might say. I have never learned a foreign language, how could I have any hope of accomplishing this ? Well for one I walk into the situation with no preconcieved notions. In studying their language as they study mine, I know better than to try to refer to Latin or Greek roots. And who knows, although highly intelligent, their utterances might sound like birds to us.

Now that's a dream. A goal is different. Maybe in magnitude and scope, but I think they are similar.

T

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 10:07:53 PM

kdsub

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Oh I have many dreams...some not realistic...lol but still wonderful dreams...For the realistic ones I am living two...I have the health...time and money to enjoy my grandson...I can relive my own childhood with him seeing the joy and awe in his eyes as he learns the wonders and beauty of this wonderful world.

I am learning a new job working in Photoshop...completely different from road construction I spent 40 years in. I am pretty good and enjoying immensely my tiumphs in my new hobby employment...I say hobby because to me it is a dream...not work.

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 12/25/2009 10:08:24 PM >

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/25/2009 11:30:10 PM

heartcream

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Yes, yes, yes, yes I have dreams fo shore maing,

quote:

I just want to get through life with as little hassle as possible.

This is a great dream to have, Arpig. It denotes calm, security, stability, abundance, peace, calm, receptive. The opposite of Fight or Flight. More like Hang Around.

Peace is a major dream, calmness, contentment, relaxation, all around ease.

A world where the reality could be one of a continuum of calm is a wonderful world to live in.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/26/2009 5:57:58 AM

Aneirin

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Dreams, I in the past had dreams, things I wanted to achieve in my lifetime, but now though I know I am capable of much to achieve those dreams, there is just a lack of interest in again taking up the pursuit.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/26/2009 6:41:05 AM

kiwisub12

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Do dreams really ever go away?

When i was a child, i dreamed of being an astronaut and going into space - and at the same time, i dreamed that aliens would land in my back yard and take me away. I haven't totally forsaken those dreams - i would love to live long enough to be able to be a tourist in space!

The older i get, the smaller - and more attainable my dreams get. I dream of the day i see my kids settled and happy, i dream that Sirs cancer will be -if not in remission- then in control, i dream of a day that flying to New Zealand won't take 24 hours.
Ok, maybe that one isn't totally attainable - but it COULD happen - if someone else dreams big!

Dreams are hopes with action! So, i try to work towards achieving my dreams, and defining new ones. and not surprisingly, most of my newish dreams are more about inner self than outward show.

Perhaps maturity is realising that attainable dreams are more inward directed than outward. At least the ones that give happiness or peace.

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/26/2009 6:44:35 AM

stella41b

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

But much of this is intrinsic to age. Great passions tend to be for the young. They are the ones who want to change the world and they don't see that it has to start by changing yourself. With the years we learn that we must change ourselves first and as we do, our dreams of grandiosity die as they should. All we can do is become the people we want others to thing of us as.

I'm 43 and feel no less passionate than when I was 16 or 17 years old. I've also spent years trying to work out who I am and have walked away from a 'dream' existence just to be me, who I am in reality. That's all I'm interested in being, and I'll leave other people to work out what they want to think of me.

Dreams to me aren't relative to age but to willpower. Sure you first need to be the change you're seeking if you're looking to change anything else, but you also need to take care of basic needs and the people around you if you are looking to fulfil your dream. And dreams usually involve other people. (I could be wrong, someone might have managed to fulfil a dream on their own without involving anyone else but I've yet to meet someone like that in my life).

My dream is a continuation of that perhaps of Marek Kotanski who was a Polish psychologist and charity worker working to help people at the very bottom of society - people with AIDS, the homeless, ex-offenders, drug addicts, and he set up MONAR and MARKOT, two charities to help them. He died suddenly in a car accident near Warsaw in 2002. I've taken his work and ideals and added them to the ethos of the Polish Solidarity movement to form my own charity which works against social stigma and social exclusion, again with the people at the very bottom of society, using my artistic work and own theory of modern theatre to help such people. Similar ethos - solidarity with the people, it's part of my 'thing' about combining cultural and social influences between Eastern and Western Europe, and I'm hoping to continue such work in the West.

I might have also settled for peace and a more hassle-free life but having myself experienced social exclusion to varying degrees I no longer trust people in general well enough to wish for that and so I prefer to work with and for the people who do accept me, i.e. those at the bottom of society and to do what I can to help them make things better for themselves.

Okay, so it might not change the world but if it can help to change even half a dozen lives a year for the better then to me it's worth it, and I guess my biggest dream now is that this work will be continued after I have died, whenever that happens.

< Message edited by stella41b -- 12/26/2009 6:45:29 AM >

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RE: When did the dreams go - 12/26/2009 10:56:43 AM

kdsub

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But don't you find that as one dream passes another forms to take its place? Even if it is only for a peaceful death.

Butch

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