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RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 8:57:14 AM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I will leave the interpretation of your future posts to more learned and interested folk.


I am so curious to find out who those folks will be

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 9:02:40 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I will leave the interpretation of your future posts to more learned and interested folk.


I am so curious to find out who those folks will be


me too

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to happylittlepet)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 9:41:21 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

this thread is about the over romanticizing of d/s relationships and the negative impact it has

I agree that over romanticizing any type of relationship dynamic can have a negative impact - when and if an over romantic ideal is confronted with an unappealing reality, and neither can yield or adapt.  If the overly romanticized relationship can continue unconfronted by obstacles....hoorah. 

Then again, I think overly de-romanticizing any type of relationship dynamic can have the same negative impact upon the individual doing so...should that scrooge ever be forced to confront his or her personal ghosts....

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i want to dispel the myth of saint dom and strong independent submissive


Didn't you just coin that saint dom phrase a day or two ago?  Now it is a myth that requires dispelling?
Strong independant submissives are a myth?  Oh shit! 

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

if he's a saint and she is independent what need she they of each other



I think if there was ever a need for a saintly dominant, it would be in the exercise of a relationship with an independant submissive... j'ust saying

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


what is the real meaning of a sexual dominant and submissive and what do they have to contribute to the relationship, notice i didn't say to each other as it is my belief that both serve the relationship and through that render what the other wants



Here I have a question or two or three.

When you use the phrase, 'sexual dominant and submissive' are you referring to a relationship that expresses its D's aspects only within the context of how D/s relates to the relationships sexual dynamic?

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

this is about hard core d/s
 
Is it? 
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

this thread is open to comment

All threads are open to comment...it would be the nature of the forum....threads closed to comment are more like journals..

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i don't have all the answers, just the answers that work for me



I'm curious, what answers are working for you.


< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 12/29/2009 10:14:33 AM >

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:02:51 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

strong independent sub is the I can have it all, all I want out of life mentality

and what is wrong with wanting as much as you can possibly find just because a person is strong, independent and submissive does not mean that they are any less entitled to finding their ideal.

i am strong emotionally because ive learnt to be. i am independent because i am a single mother and ive learnt to be

there is going to be a price, you are not going to be able to have it all, you will have to make sacrifices and compromises

of course, isnt that what all relationships end up doing, making sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t tell you what they will be for they will be different in each case, but belive me they will be there


as variable as in any other relationship.




_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:09:25 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~FR~
Neither the quote function on here or my copy & paste is working for me right now, so I'm using fast reply.  So, all these references I make are from pg 3 of the thread........

Quote: Why does a saintly nature have to be separate from a Dominating nature?
OPs A:  It doesn't.  But good luck finding one.
My A to OP:  Then I must be extremely lucky.  My last Sir immediately comes to mind.  If I ever find myself belonging to Someone again like Him, once again I will count myself extremely lucky.  Our relationship was about loving, caring about, and pleasing each other.

OPs statement:  my advice to newly emerging submissives is don't worry about most of that.....  (in reference to my earlier post on pg 3 about how I get to know a Person)
My A to OP:  Surely you aren't saying that a newly emerging submissive should wrecklessly just rush into "intimate contact" with Someone, knowing hardly anything about them???  Or are you recommending that they expose themselves to things like possibly being raped, beaten, abused, and/or killed by a relative stranger?

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:15:32 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
Then again, I think overly de-romanticizing any type of relationship dynamic can have the same negative impact upon the individual doing so...should that scrooge ever be forced to confront his or her personal ghosts....


OVER romanticize

Didn't you just coin that saint dom phrase a day or two ago? Now it is a myth that requires dispelling?
Strong independant submissives are a myth? Oh shit!

saint is the word I use for the all giving, guiding, nurturing selfless dom myth

I've never, personally, ever heard of anyone that really believed that a dominant was a saint....I've heard a LOT of words used to describe a dominant, but saint never really seemed to be any of them.


I have seen that online more times than my stomach can bear


When you use the phrase, 'sexual dominant and submissive' are you referring to a relationship that expresses its D's aspects only within the context of how D/s relates to the relationships sexual dynamic?


I use sexual dominant to describe a dominant male that want to be his partners dominant vs a man with just a dominant personality



_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:17:02 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

strong independent sub is the I can have it all, all I want out of life mentality

and what is wrong with wanting as much as you can possibly find just because a person is strong, independent and submissive does not mean that they are any less entitled to finding their ideal.

i am strong emotionally because ive learnt to be. i am independent because i am a single mother and ive learnt to be

there is going to be a price, you are not going to be able to have it all, you will have to make sacrifices and compromises

of course, isnt that what all relationships end up doing, making sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t tell you what they will be for they will be different in each case, but belive me they will be there


as variable as in any other relationship.





the sacrifices for d/s may have to be greater because of it's socially unacceptable nature



_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:20:48 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~FR~
Neither the quote function on here or my copy & paste is working for me right now, so I'm using fast reply.  So, all these references I make are from pg 3 of the thread........

Quote: Why does a saintly nature have to be separate from a Dominating nature?
OPs A:  It doesn't.  But good luck finding one.
My A to OP:  Then I must be extremely lucky.  My last Sir immediately comes to mind.  If I ever find myself belonging to Someone again like Him, once again I will count myself extremely lucky.  Our relationship was about loving, caring about, and pleasing each other.

this statement seems in agreement with mine


OPs statement:  my advice to newly emerging submissives is don't worry about most of that.....  (in reference to my earlier post on pg 3 about how I get to know a Person)
My A to OP:  Surely you aren't saying that a newly emerging submissive should wrecklessly just rush into "intimate contact" with Someone, knowing hardly anything about them???  Or are you recommending that they expose themselves to things like possibly being raped, beaten, abused, and/or killed by a relative stranger?

just not set their standards as high as they normally would




_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:29:52 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

strong independent sub is the I can have it all, all I want out of life mentality

and what is wrong with wanting as much as you can possibly find just because a person is strong, independent and submissive does not mean that they are any less entitled to finding their ideal.

i am strong emotionally because ive learnt to be. i am independent because i am a single mother and ive learnt to be

there is going to be a price, you are not going to be able to have it all, you will have to make sacrifices and compromises

of course, isnt that what all relationships end up doing, making sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t tell you what they will be for they will be different in each case, but belive me they will be there


as variable as in any other relationship.





the sacrifices for d/s may have to be greater because of it's socially unacceptable nature




"Socially unacceptable" relationships determines how much of a sacrifice people make?? You cannot be serious.

OMFG. How did you get to be your age and not acquire ANY wisdom?

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:41:07 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

strong independent sub is the I can have it all, all I want out of life mentality

and what is wrong with wanting as much as you can possibly find just because a person is strong, independent and submissive does not mean that they are any less entitled to finding their ideal.

i am strong emotionally because ive learnt to be. i am independent because i am a single mother and ive learnt to be

there is going to be a price, you are not going to be able to have it all, you will have to make sacrifices and compromises

of course, isnt that what all relationships end up doing, making sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t tell you what they will be for they will be different in each case, but belive me they will be there


as variable as in any other relationship.





the sacrifices for d/s may have to be greater because of it's socially unacceptable nature




"Socially unacceptable" relationships determines how much of a sacrifice people make?? You cannot be serious.

OMFG. How did you get to be your age and not acquire ANY wisdom?


so your going out in public and talk about you weekend visit to a dungeon?

or if you frequent play parties and munches, you're going to run for political office?


you're totally amazing

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:44:20 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

strong independent sub is the I can have it all, all I want out of life mentality

and what is wrong with wanting as much as you can possibly find just because a person is strong, independent and submissive does not mean that they are any less entitled to finding their ideal.

i am strong emotionally because ive learnt to be. i am independent because i am a single mother and ive learnt to be

there is going to be a price, you are not going to be able to have it all, you will have to make sacrifices and compromises

of course, isnt that what all relationships end up doing, making sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t tell you what they will be for they will be different in each case, but belive me they will be there


as variable as in any other relationship.





the sacrifices for d/s may have to be greater because of it's socially unacceptable nature




"Socially unacceptable" relationships determines how much of a sacrifice people make?? You cannot be serious.

OMFG. How did you get to be your age and not acquire ANY wisdom?


so your going out in public and talk about you weekend visit to a dungeon?

or if you frequent play parties and munches, you're going to run for political office?


you're totally amazing


Thanks. That is the only thing you have ever typed that I agree with.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:46:08 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		let's agree that we disagree and ignore each other

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:54:16 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

strong independent sub is the I can have it all, all I want out of life mentality

and what is wrong with wanting as much as you can possibly find just because a person is strong, independent and submissive does not mean that they are any less entitled to finding their ideal.

i am strong emotionally because ive learnt to be. i am independent because i am a single mother and ive learnt to be

there is going to be a price, you are not going to be able to have it all, you will have to make sacrifices and compromises

of course, isnt that what all relationships end up doing, making sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t tell you what they will be for they will be different in each case, but belive me they will be there


as variable as in any other relationship.





the sacrifices for d/s may have to be greater because of it's socially unacceptable nature




my private life is just that, i dont seek social acceptance from anyone, why would i.

but then i dont tend to feel comfortable being overt in public. its possible for the dynamic between two people to continue right under everyones noses without a single person being aware of it.

shopping for food, i kept buzzing off to get stuff. in the end he got fed up with turning around and finding me gone so he just looked at me with a small frown and said quietly 'stop dissappearing'. so i did, happily, with a big grin all over my face happy as a lark fully submissive and noone knew.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:57:04 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

strong independent sub is the I can have it all, all I want out of life mentality

and what is wrong with wanting as much as you can possibly find just because a person is strong, independent and submissive does not mean that they are any less entitled to finding their ideal.

i am strong emotionally because ive learnt to be. i am independent because i am a single mother and ive learnt to be

there is going to be a price, you are not going to be able to have it all, you will have to make sacrifices and compromises

of course, isnt that what all relationships end up doing, making sacrifices and compromises.

I can’t tell you what they will be for they will be different in each case, but belive me they will be there


as variable as in any other relationship.





the sacrifices for d/s may have to be greater because of it's socially unacceptable nature




my private life is just that, i dont seek social acceptance from anyone, why would i.

but then i dont tend to feel comfortable being overt in public. its possible for the dynamic between two people to continue right under everyones noses without a single person being aware of it.

shopping for food, i kept buzzing off to get stuff. in the end he got fed up with turning around and finding me gone so he just looked at me with a small frown and said quietly 'stop dissappearing'. so i did, happily, with a big grin all over my face happy as a lark fully submissive and noone knew.


but if you want to be a public person it could be a bit inconvenient

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:57:21 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

let's agree that we disagree and ignore each other


You can ignore me and anyone else you refuse to debate intelligently. I, however, will do what I want, when I want to and that may or may not include responding to your posts, idiotic as they are. 'K?

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 10:59:38 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

let's agree that we disagree and ignore each other


You can ignore me and anyone else you refuse to debate intelligently. I, however, will do what I want, when I want to and that may or may not include responding to your posts, idiotic as they are. 'K?


the intelligent part i can do, the vicious part i'll leave to you

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 11:04:36 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I am not vicious at all; I just find it difficult to read some of the nonsense being spouted. You were the one who said I was dishonest which is a total misperception on your part. I post very honestly and always have.

I would advise you to look upon your own posts; many of them have been highly insulting, which could be construed as vicious to others.

If you want to dish it out, osf, you need to be able to take it.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 11:11:49 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I am not vicious at all; I just find it difficult to read some of the nonsense being spouted. You were the one who said I was dishonest which is a total misperception on your part. I post very honestly and always have.

I would advise you to look upon your own posts; many of them have been highly insulting, which could be construed as vicious to others.

If you want to dish it out, osf, you need to be able to take it.


then from now on you'll use my posts in context?

disagree with the argument as i meant it

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 11:11:55 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		OP, look at my list again. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
know about:
1. The Man as a Person.
2. His relationship status. (I don't want to find out later, after
  we're involved, that He's got a vanilla wife somewhere.
  I won't be Someone's "dirty little secret.")
3. His vanilla and kink likes/dislikes and needs/wants.  (There's
 more to the kind of relationship I want than just kink and sex.) 
4. What He wants/needs out of the relationship.
5. What He is expecting from me.
and at the same time I will let Him know all of the above about myself.  Also:
6. I need to spend some time with Him in person to see if there
  is any chemistry in real time.

Tell me, what standards are set too high?  The advice in my list is common sense safety advice in the first place, as well as things a person needs to know if she/he wants what they consider a successful relationship, unless s/he wants tostart out with a lot of unhappy b.s. and unmet expectations in the beginning.  And you say to  just not set their standards as high as they normally would.  WTF!?

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: the romance v the reality of d/s - 12/29/2009 11:15:43 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

OP, look at my list again. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
know about:
1. The Man as a Person.
2. His relationship status. (I don't want to find out later, after
  we're involved, that He's got a vanilla wife somewhere.
  I won't be Someone's "dirty little secret.")
3. His vanilla and kink likes/dislikes and needs/wants.  (There's
 more to the kind of relationship I want than just kink and sex.) 
4. What He wants/needs out of the relationship.
5. What He is expecting from me.
and at the same time I will let Him know all of the above about myself.  Also:
6. I need to spend some time with Him in person to see if there
  is any chemistry in real time.

Tell me, what standards are set too high?  The advice in my list is common sense safety advice in the first place, as well as things a person needs to know if she/he wants what they consider a successful relationship, unless s/he wants tostart out with a lot of unhappy b.s. and unmet expectations in the beginning.  And you say to  just not set their standards as high as they normally would.  WTF!?


it's really simple there aren't that many of us and if she wants to learn she is going to have to cast her net further for even some that she knows she would not form a lasting relationship with

if your always seeking niceness this isn't the life for you

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 80
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