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Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 5:56:41 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Hi everyone,
I'm fairly new to the lifestyle, about a year and a half now. My problem is finding a Master, everyone I meet(Doms) only want to play, no one seems to want to have a lasting relationship(at least im not finding that). Is it me? or am I not going about this in the right way?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 5:58:51 PM   
jennalynn


Posts: 67
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Finding a Master may take time and patience. To me it is not much different than finding the right person in a vanilla relationship.

Hmmm kind of like finding the needle in the haystack.

Just take your time and it will happen. Keep your eyes and heart open and everything will one day fall into place.

jenna

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 6:35:35 PM   
ropesubby39


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline 		I hear you, but patience is a virtue (its what i tell myself).

I wish you the best of luck in your search

_____________________________

ropesubby

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 6:53:28 PM   
Merritt27


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		Cuddleheart,

It does take time and it is FRUSTRATING! If you should choose to become friends with any of these Doms or even play with some while on your search...it will only help you in defining what it is that you seek in the Dom of your dreams. i wish you well on your search and remember good things come to those who wait!

_____________________________

Proud Partner to PlayfulOne

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 7:18:25 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Thanks to all of you for your advice, I guess the search continues...

(in reply to Merritt27)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 7:53:57 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Well thats where your problem is. You're searching!! It's like when you lose your keys, love. You search hi and lo. To and fro and you'll never find them. The minute you stop looking and decide to watch a little tube and you sit down. Voila, there they are on the table next to your chair. Don't search so hard. Relax, sit back and enjoy what may come your way. Before you know it, you're right where you hoped you'd be.


_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 8:07:53 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Well thats where your problem is. You're searching!! It's like when you lose your keys, love. You search hi and lo. To and fro and you'll never find them. The minute you stop looking and decide to watch a little tube and you sit down. Voila, there they are on the table next to your chair. Don't search so hard. Relax, sit back and enjoy what may come your way. Before you know it, you're right where you hoped you'd be.


I have a different perspective than MrDisipline44 on a lot of things...here I have to agree; let go of searching, hold onto the intent and let go of your expectations...mine had given up and she was no longer searching, she is now owned. I Myself wasn't certain she was actually out there anymore...
I remember once in college I had to move, looked for days for boxes and couldn't find any anywhere...went to campus, sat down and as friends passed asking Me what I was doing I told them "Looking for boxes"...I ended up with more than I could use.
He is there...know that.
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 8:26:29 PM   
nslut4whtmaster


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		Stop searching as someone had suggested on this thread. i was searching for a Master but after a few bad experiences, i had just given up. During that time while i was not seeking, i got to know what it is i wanted in a Dominant and i got to know myself as well. My Master came to me when i was not looking for Him. i tend to believe that when you are not looking that is when you find what it is that you seek.

Best of Luck to you,
ns

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 8:34:31 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP...Ach! I am thinking of going to Doms R Us to see if there is a special on them.:0)~~...But seriously as many have said to me, sit back and just enjoy your journey.Make friends here. Go to your local Munches,there is a listing for them...Be well...Tempting

(in reply to nslut4whtmaster)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 8:36:43 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Hello and welcome to the boards,

After a quick glance at your profile I would suggest adding more to it. Simply stating that you want an LTR


_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 9:11:23 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

MrDisipline44


I want to apologize, I didn't intend to spell your name wrong...just typing faster than I was spelling. No disrespect meant.
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Finding a Master - 3/19/2006 9:18:05 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		None taken. Besides I've had more disrespectful things said to me then just misspelling the name. LOL

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 3:14:51 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Thank all of you again for answering. I thought I did have in my profile that I wanted a long term relationship, I also added life partner. I will stop searching, and relax..lol...and hopefully my (Keys) will show up...lol

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 4:41:30 AM   
warren2006tampa


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		Hi cuddleheart50,

If it makes you feel any better, it is not so easy for a Master to find a good slave, either. It is quite a sacrifice to sub for a dom, so a sub with any brains will not enter into such a relationship lightly.

Moreover, subs/slaves on a site such as this get inundated with emails from all manner of doms (male, female, couple, Gorean, bi, str8, yada yada yada). They hardly have time to read them all, much less answer them. I have sent emails both unread and unanswered on this site. My advice there would be to fill out your profile completely, to attract the best matches, and try to answer all your email.

The advice given by others to not search so hard (just let it happen) is very good. The 2 slaves I have had, both started in vanilla relationships! I wasn't looking for slaves and they weren't looking for a Master but it evolved- the ladies just had it in them and over time we went that route, totally unplanned.

Now I am looking, and maybe that is why I haven't found....

Good luck,
Warren

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 8:24:05 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Hi and welcome to the boards.  My advice is to just relax and stoping searching as others said.  It took me a year (and "kissing" a few toads) before i found my Master.  It will happy when you least expect it.  I know it is frustration but just hang in there i have faith the perfect Master is out there for you and you will find each other.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to warren2006tampa)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 8:57:26 AM   
liltess


Posts: 38
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline 		sounds like you have a some great advice as that is what I did and He found me

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 10:33:13 AM   
BrianSenior


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		While you are on the down time or have the free time at your hand, pay attention to what is around you who it is that is around you. Think of the qualites they posses that you like and dis like. Though you can not go through life with a grocery list as far as partners go, it will help when you are looking at some one who seems interesting. Being in the lifestyle for a year, I would think you have done some reading, do some more. Placing adds on the boards here  is also a good way to meet as it shows more of what or who you are. Of course you can also see some of the people here and see what they are like. The longer the wait, the more pleasure in the find. ~BK~

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 2:15:00 PM   
Firmmaster4u


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		i wonder what happen to those toads you kiss did they all die from being hurt or go on with there life i wonder if your master who is a frog now to you knows shweat he has with you ml

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 3:24:03 PM   
lisaNgso


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline 		I would strongly recommend, if you are not already, joining several bdsm groups where you can meet individuals face to face.  If you do this already, then ignore the rest of my post, lol.

This does two things, (1)  gives you something fullfilling to do while you are single and looking, and (2) increases your selection of potential tops.


Even though there are many great people in the lifestyle on this and other online forums, I feel that physical groups tend to weed out the "looking for hot sex types" a bit  more - although not completely.  It takes a certain commitment and consistancy to be a member of a group. I"m not suggesting to exclude online forums, just add the physical groups into your life.


I am currently single myself, and have been for a bit.  It took awhile, but through groups I have now fairly large network of friends, some that I play with, and some that are simply great friends.  So I am as active socially and play wise, as if I were in a relationship. I've actully been able to experience many more types of play more quickly than I  think I would have within a relationship, as well a gain a better understanding of how very different tops can be.  Of course I miss submitting to someone - but am generally happy and feel fairly fullfilled in the meantime, confortable waiting until the right relationship comes along.  In fact I enjoyed beining the demo model in a rope demo before one of the large bdsm in my state this past weekend.

I found a great term I like from the book The Bride Wore Black - "freelance submissive".   

best of luck


(in reply to Firmmaster4u)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Finding a Master - 3/20/2006 3:41:12 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		All of your suggestions will be taken to heart, sometimes, waiting is the hardest part.  But, if that is something that I have to do to find my Master, then I will wait.

(in reply to lisaNgso)
Profile   Post #: 20
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