RE: Misogyny and BDSM (Full Version)

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Lucienne -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 6:47:24 AM)

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ORIGINAL: Aynne88


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ORIGINAL: Lucienne

So, Aynne, the self-proclaimed feminist, has put on a traditional display of how misogynistic tropes are kept alive in our culture by people who may or may not actually hate women.



Holy dissertation Lucienne, I am flattered by the in depth analysis of my motives. However, I most ccertainly did address all of Elisabella's queries re: sales. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean they weren't addressed.


My comment was overwhelmingly concerned with your actions, not your motives. I think I asserted that you responded to Elisabella this way because you were irritated by her. That seems pretty consistent with your own explanations. But, again, your motives weren't really my point.

You didn't really address Elisabella's points (which she repeated after this post of yours). I totally get that sales is an ugly business. That's why the questions she raised are interesting to think about. This is America. Sex sells. I'm not expecting you to apologize for what you do. I just find it interesting to see how theory meets practice. Sometimes dealing with feminists of a more academic (and sheltered) bent, I find it necessary to explain that I consider myself a front-line feminist. Theory is nice, but some of us actually have to go out into the world and get ass deep into male dominated environments and aim to succeed while retaining some measure of dignity and self-respect. As a general rule, that means picking your feminist battles carefully and rarely. And, as I illustrated with my analysis of your comments, it's possible and almost easy to behave in a manner that feeds misogynist tropes even if you don't actually believe those tropes to be true. That's the sort of stuff I'm looking at here. Not your inner motivations.

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FUn flirty mode? Whatever. I like Domi, he cuts through the pretentious bullshit here and he's probably one of the more intelligent posters on this site. Jeff and zRon too. Sometimes some of the women on here, Jesus Christ, well those guys are a refreshing reprieve.

I explained my thinking. You obviously didn't get it. I was not suggesting that any of those posters are lacking intelligence or entertainment value, I just noted your timing.

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Yes I said lighten up, apparently not your forte. Hey that's fine. I will continue to be me, if you wan't to try and analyze me to death and talk about me as though I can't read it, that's annoying, but knock your self out I suppose.


Do you really not recognize how "lighten up" is frequently used to dismiss valid concerns expressed by feminists? As in, lighten up, there's absolutely nothing wrong with me calling Elisabella frigid in response to her noting that I tripped over myself trying to correct another. Well, yes, there is several things wrong with it. First, I noted that it was self-defeating and suggested that you back off. Later, I pointed out that it's not only irrational and non-responsive, it's actually feeding from and into misogyny. Remember? The point of this thread?

I don't think I wrote about you as if you couldn't read it. That would be pretty silly. I sat back and watched you do this and I held back on calling you out for it until others started pulling the themes together.

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Lastly, you calling me a "salf proclaimed feminist." What the fuck does that mean? Like you are the proclaimer of my feminism?


Broken down, it means you identified yourself as a feminist. Phrasing it that way communicates that you have self-identified and that I'm remaining neutral on whether or not I agree precisely because I didn't want to get bogged down in a discussion like the one psychonaut started about whether or not you are a twue feminist. You call yourself a feminist? That's fine by me. My concern was more with your actions towards Elisabella as unsupportive of the feminist cause for a world in which it's openly accepted as irrelevant and inappropriate to attack a woman's sexuality because you have some other form of disagreement with her.





Aynne88 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 6:51:24 AM)

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ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

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ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Sorry wrong. First of all I am sleeping with yhe love of my lfe he just happens to own the company. Using my looks is just ONE way to have n advantage over some of my male counterparts who have just as many tricks as I do. Trips to Vegas with gentlemens clubs and prostitutes springs to mind. Sales is dirty, if you'e never done it, you wouldn't understand.


I've never done sales.  I have these things called "ethics."

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How is my opening doors at times by being attractive the cause for harrassment in the workplace?


You are creating an atmosphere where men are conditioned to believe that it is acceptable and professional behavior to flirt with female co-workers.  You teach them to interact with you a certain way (a way that society in general does not want them to behave), they turn around and treat another woman like that, and she feels that she is being harassed.

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 Kind of how the woman in the minskirt asks to get raped? Wow.


No, and that is a moronic suggestion.

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Dude at work with my male co-workers they love me, I am professional, but I also hang with the guys. It's like restaurant work or automobile sales, the normal rules of harrassment don't apply. Fair? I don't know, but most chef's term of endearment for waitstaff is "cunt." Some professions just aren't for the "by the book" uptight whistlblower sorts, so dont do them.


Oh my god, please shut up or I'm going to have go out and buy a bra and burn it on your behalf.  This entire argument boils down to "If women can't handle the heat, they should stay out of the kitchen/Boys will be boys."

You. Are. No. Feminist.

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 Also, don't decifr for me if I am a feminist or not. I've been in more marches and rallies than I can count and donate monthly to planned parenthood and am pretty certain you can't claim any of those this.


I minored in women's studies, have volunteered in rape clinics and women's shelters, spent two years working with the Seattle Police Department as a domestic violence intervention specialist,  have volunteered time and money to the White Ribbon Campaign, and in my role as Student Council Leader in high school I founded the first Mentors In Violence Prevention program in the Seattle School District.  Oh just to toot my own horn, both of the papers I wrote for my Gender and Violence class are now used as supplementary reading to the texts they refer to.

Hah.  Bet you didn't see that coming.


No I didn't but I am impressed. However, I don't let anyone tell me that I.Am.Not.A.Feminist.  Oh and if you have to burn a bra on my behalf, don't take one of mine, I wear La Perla, when I wear one[;)]. Get one of the cheap ones at Walmart.

Yes, ethics...I agree somewhat, in some of the sales professions I have been in, especially automobiles. However this one isn't an ethical quandry. It's a product the price is the price and there isn't a lot of room for haggling .  Hence, you have to have something better than the next guy. Ours like I have stated ad nauseum, is paying a slightly higher price and paying on the spot. We also sell the Marine products needed as well, mainly bait and fuel, so it's a one stop shop for them as well. I am only going to get into this one more time, the off the cuff comment about smoking the occasional "smoke" with the guys off I repeat off company property.  Seriously I have probably done the 4 times in the entire season, not that I have to defend it to any of you. It's the same thing when we all walk over to the local pub after unloading, wieiging and paying them and buying them all a beer. It builds a camraderie. That's part of sales, whether you approve or not. I guess in hindsight I did put too much emphasis on the flirty nature of it, but hey don't post while drinking right[;)]. What I do is impossibly hard sometimes,  SexyRed1 was posting on this same thread re: her high pressure job in sales in NYC and she said, and of course I paraphrase "You do whatever it takes". I don't mean to speak for her and I am sure she will correct me if I misspoke, she's no wallflower.

I am a feminist, maybe not to you, that's fine. I bet to the women at the New Hope for Women Center where I also volunteer they would speak differently. Facets, many facets, that is how I find most people to be. This is part of my issue with the feminist argument. God forbid you want to wear red lipstick, stilettos, enjoy men and call yourself a feminist. It's ridiculous.    




Aynne88 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 6:57:22 AM)



Lucienne,

I appreciate your post. Elisabella and I have had some go arounds because well....Gor and feminism, not so much a match made in heaven. We disagree on almost everything, especially feminism, yet I get called out on not being on. Yes, irritated would be the correct word. I know she isn't Gorean but she certainly and especially initially only posted on Gor, and is as I stated the author of and ati-feminist blog. I did state that I find her intelligent and well spoken.

As far as my timing for the Domi call, well...I tend to invoke his name when things are getting a little too heavy, you know, kind of my own personal beetlejuice. Or jesus. I forget. [;)].

I have had enough of this topic because I know what I am and what I beleive and I don't feel like going around and around on it anymore, we got a foot of snow and it's still coming down and I have don  the gear and grab the shovel.

Hopefully all of us can meet somewhere in the middle and at least be openminded enough to see each other's points, if not agreeing with all of them.  




Aynne88 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 6:58:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

I've never done sales.  I have these things called "ethics."




So everytime you buy something you deal with an unethical person? That must hurt you.

Just imagine how hard it is for the poor motherfucker, trying to earn a living, who has to deal with a pompous ass?

Sweeping generalizations, while amusing, are almost aways flawed.


Jeff



Jefffffffrey......you rock.[;)]. See, that winking flirt. Shameless hussy.




Lucienne -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 7:23:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Elisabella and I have had some go arounds because well....Gor and feminism, not so much a match made in heaven. We disagree on almost everything,


Elisabella and I openly stand on opposite sides of a great culture war, so I totally get that. :) But I like to think that deep down, she's a good egg. And it's nice to have someone intelligent to disagree with. Well-ordered arguments are so much more productive to counter.

quote:

Hopefully all of us can meet somewhere in the middle and at least be openminded enough to see each other's points, if not agreeing with all of them.  



Agreed. Happy snow shoveling! (And I'll grant you an indulgence in advance from the Church of Feminism if you can find some way to work feminine wiles to get someone else to do the shoveling.)




xssve -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 7:35:35 AM)

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ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

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I agree that the racial prejudices held by the majority/in-power group are more likely to be institutionalized, but to say it's more problematic and dangerous is IMO a stretch. And it's not a simple white-black issue: one of the strongest form of racial tension is between inner city blacks and Asian or Middle Eastern shop owners. There is some serious hatred there, and it has nothing to do with either white people or institutionalized prejudice - it's just two groups of people from different cultures who seriously get on each others nerves.


Without going into a whole thing about white supremacy being the root cause of inter-racial tensions, I'll just point out that neither inner city blacks and Asian or Middle Eastern shop owners is a particularly powerful or influential group, and their prejudices have almost no impact outside of their interactions.  In the grand scheme of things the racial prejudices of these two groups towards each other is as relevant as the fandom prejudices Star Wars and Star Trek geeks hold against each other.

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And finally I think the whole "racism is only a problem if white people do it" is such a huge stumbling block that's being thrown in the way of the progress of race relations. On both sides. If you tell minorities that their prejudices against whites are "legitimate" and "excusable" they'll have little motivation to change, and if you tell whites that their only role in race discussions is to listen and apologize, they'll be a lot less likely to devote themselves to being the bad guy.


Prejudice is an incurable and untreatable condition of humanity.  Prejudice is simply an irrational and unproductive way of organizing facts.  It is stupidity, and that's all it is.  There is no cure for stupid. 

The idea of some form of racism separate from white supremacy is silly.  Racism is white supremacy, they're the same thing.  And please bear in mind that by white supremacy I do not mean neo-nazis. 

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I think that unique sociological cultures have formed in the US, mostly based off of the sociological cultures of our ancestors, and I really can't see the idea of the "melting pot" working out evenly. In fact, I don't even know if that's a desirable outcome. I think we're pushing ourselves really hard to overcome our instinctive dislike/distaste for cultural differences, now that it's become taboo to expect assimilation to American-European values and behaviour, and I really don't think it's ever going to happen.


The error in your thinking is the wrong-headed assumption that in a melting pot everyone would come to embrace European-American values.  The reality is that most of the growth and progress in the West in the last 50+ years has been a result of Western thinkers shedding colonialist assumptions about manifest destiny and the white man's burden and opening up to the ideas, perspectives and values of other cultures.

I think this has been a pretty insightful train of thought, I was particularly impressed by the distinction between "reverse racism" vs. racial radicalization - i.e., essentially a fairly predictable reaction formation to unjust conditions.

I think the tension between inner city Asians and Blacks is probably similar since the whole "race as caste" paradigm is fairly deeply embedded in American culture, although it is an abstraction, it's didn't exist during the colonial era: it was deliberately introduced when Black slaves and White indentured servants found common cause and began revolting against the patrician landowners (see Howard Zinn, A Peoples History of the United States). It doesn't exist in Shakespeare for example, where the Moor Othello is presented no differently than if he had been German or French, or some other nationality.

In the case of inner city Blacks and Asians, while there have been and are, successful Black business owners, a high percentage of them were burned out over the years when they became too competitive with White business owners.

Blacks tended to own similar types of businesses to whites, whereas the Chinese benefited from Three basic differences: first, they were able to maintain cohesive communities, segregated from the Caucasian community for the most part.

Second, they already had a lengthy tradition of urban business planning, they were no strangers to urban capitalism, had already worked out the details and externalities, capitalization, supply chains, protection and conflict resolution, etc. and were able to preserve this culture and transfer it it more or less intact , whereas African Americans had been constantly under attack, unable to even form and maintain cohesive family structures, let alone communities and community value systems.

And Third, they tended to specialize in businesses that are less commonly found in White communities, and where they overlap, there are still significant differences - i.e., a Chinese restaurant does not compare symmetrically to a restaurant serving American fare, it's in a category all it's own for all practical purposes, and there is less competition between restaurants serving ethnic cuisine and those offering more mainstream fare, who compete more directly with each other. The Chinese specialized in things like laundries competing not with White businesses, but with domestic servants and home laundry businesses. The move into neighborhood groceries occurred during The late Seventies and Eighties, when White neighborhood groceries were being bought out and replaced by chains, or simply cannibalized for their assets in the leveraged buyout feeding frenzy, etc.

Possibly, African Americans were simply caught flat footed here, undercapitalized and unorganized, their inner city communities had not been long established - these are largely populations displaced from rural areas by mechanization, used for seasonal agricultural labor (see Piven and Cloward, Regulating the Poor), and discouraged from forming their own economies. Even as this was happening, the CIA, or rogue elements within it were flooding inner city Black communities with crack cocaine (see the review on the DOJ's investigations and prosecutions), which is suspected to have been part of a plot to drive down real estate values to make way for urban renewal, new development and gentrification (see Catherine Fitts at Solari).

In any case, I see it as stemming from a simple basic resentment at differences in levels of competitiveness:, capitalization, networking, etc., exacerbated by the usual cultural difference issues - resolve the former, and the latter will tend to resolve itself - money tends to be the great leveler, oddly enough, it's all green.




Elisabella -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 4:43:44 PM)

I have no problem with being called ethnocentric, because I know I am. I think most people are, to a degree. You call yourself a feminist, yet imply you believe all cultures are equal. What's your opinion on women being stoned for having sex outside of marriage? Do you honestly believe that you'd have no preference between living in a country where sex between adults is legal and living in a country where a woman who has sex (or can't prove she was raped well enough) can be killed for her actions?

I would disagree with your assertion that the GOP represents "fear of color" - firstly McCain was notoriously lax on the issue of illegal immigration (which has turned into a white/brown issue) and second of all they tried to impeach a white guy for getting a blow job, JUST because he was a Dem. And I think McCain was a strong presidential candidate who could have held his own against Clinton (Mrs.) or Kerry or Edwards or any other white Dem candidate. The biggest issue was that Obama was doing a 'reach out to everyone' campaign while McCain was doing an "I'm a Republican" campaign and trying to solidify support with his base (picking Palin, etc) leaving Obama to sweep up nonpartisan voters.

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Tap into white resentment, and you have a voting block that can make you a real challenge for president (John McCain). Tap into Asian resentment towards blacks, and you're unlikely to get elected anywhere.


55.6% of white voters voted for McCain.
95% of black voters voted for Obama.

Racial resentment can be a powerful force. And cities with a large Asian population are able to form special interest groups, which might not seem so important but if you think about the fact that the majority of fucked up laws the Supreme Court has to overturn are passed on the city or state level, not the federal level, you can see my point.

I'm not trying to say that white racism isn't a problem, or that the majority of racist issues aren't caused by white-against-minority racism. I think that goes as a given. I'm simply trying to refute your stance that minority-against-white or minority-against-minority racism is excusable or "legitimate" - because it isn't. And people who take stances on racism that amount to "white people are the bad guy" are basically a polarizing force in these discussions...taking that stance IMO hurts race relations far more than it helps it, because by that one statement "only white people are racist" you give non-whites that much more reason to resent whites by justifying ANY and ALL negative feelings they have, and it makes whites a lot more hesitant to work on a solution if they hear "the skin color you were born with makes you the bad guy even if you as an individual aren't racist."

BTW you didn't address my point re: Japan's institutionalized racism. I think the history is pretty well known, but if not this is a good place to start:

http://www.debito.org/

It's run by an American ex-pat who went through the rough process of becoming a Japanese citizen. Lots of pictures of Japanese-Only signs, far more recent than Jim Crow.

ETA: Regarding you point of James being hired over Lamarr, I bet James would be hired over Moonbeam as well, even though it's a pretty fair bet Moonbeam is white.

Also re: the criminal justice system, are you saying that you believe the majority of blacks in jail are there for crimes they didn't commit, or that blacks who commit crimes are given stronger sentences than whites who commit identical crimes? Because there's a difference.




Elisabella -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 5:13:31 PM)

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I know she isn't Gorean but she certainly and especially initially only posted on Gor, and is as I stated the author of and ati-feminist blog. I did state that I find her intelligent and well spoken.


I posted on the main forums for quite awhile before going on the Gorean forums, actually.




Elisabella -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 5:20:08 PM)

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Elisabella and I openly stand on opposite sides of a great culture war, so I totally get that. :) But I like to think that deep down, she's a good egg. And it's nice to have someone intelligent to disagree with. Well-ordered arguments are so much more productive to counter.


Thank you. I like disagreeing with you as well [:)]

Honestly I feel sometimes like I get caught up in a war of terminology. If I say I'm not a feminist, that I feel feminism is flawed, people like to assume I'm a misogynist or that I think women are an inferior gender, and nothing could be farther from the truth. I love being a woman. I think being a woman gives me a lot of advantages, and my biggest issue with feminism is that it seems to want to work toward androgynous culture.

I have no issue with individuals acting andogynously or acting like the other gender, but I'm aware that there has to be some sort of baseline culture, some sort of 'mainstream' and I think the one we have now is flawed. In many ways, more than just in the sense of gender relations.




Elisabella -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 5:52:23 PM)

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Slow your roll cowboy, I never claimed to be a feminist. I think feminism is about 99.9% bullshit and have a list of feminist women who hate my guts longer than your arm. I also don't believe all cultures are "equal." I don't even find that a particularly useful way of looking at things. I do believe that the civilization of the future will transcend western and eastern thought and combine them into a grand vision of the world, and I do believe that every culture has things of value to teach us and to learn from.


My mistake. And I actually like your vision for the future. So long as it combines the best of both worlds, and not the worst of both worlds.

At the risk of having someone (not you, just someone) spaz out over racial stereotyping, I'll give an example. Black and Hispanic family structure is tight. Those kids don't whine that their parents fucked them up, they know their cousin's birthdays, they know that their family will stick by them and so they stick by their family. White culture doesn't have that, not to that degree, and I think that's a loss. At the same time, white families tend to push their kids to transcend neighborhood and family limits and go off and make something of themselves. It's more individual oriented rather than group oriented. A combination of those two would make for a strong culture.

But what do we see? What's our great mix of culture? Fucking MTV. The worst of both combined into one big fucking mess.

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Well, I object to your characterization of racial prejudices held by minorities as racism, since racism is not simply prejudice. Racism is a force, an ideology, that shaped the 17th and 18th centuries and created the world of white supremacy we currently live in. All of the prejudices you are talking about exist within a racist context, and that racism is synonymous with white supremacy.


That's a fair characterization of the US at least, I wouldn't say the world. At the risk of sounding un-PC though, the only reason white supremacy was able to take root then is because European technology was, in a word, superior. Europeans were the victorious conquerors, and they did what conquerors are apt to do: rape, pillage, slaughter and enslave.

They also created a veritable empire, transformed the world into an industrial powerhouse in a century (1770-1870), transformed that into a world of modern convenience in the next century (1870-1970), and are turning it into a technological paradise in this century (1970-).

I wonder if it's possible to separate the two into unique timelines. I doubt it.

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The reality is that the attitude you are espousing is a convenient cloak for racists, and when the prejudices of people of color are conflated with racism -- the doctrine of racial supremacy that motivated the genocide of Native Americans and the creation of the reservation system, that enslaved Africans and left Africa a fractured quilt economically ravaged of warring post-colonial states, that helped created the totalitarian states of Asia, etc. -- then it becomes impossible to address actual racism.

Think of it this way: If white people complain about black people being racist (by which they mean resenting the class of people who oppresses them), and black people complain about white people being racist (by which they mean oppressing people like them), then whose voice will be heard louder? The white people who are the majority and control a disproportionate share of the money, political power and media resources, or the black people who don't? The answer should be obvious.


Oh no doubt, I just don't think it's right to say that any racial prejudice is legitimate or excusable. You don't have to be in a position of power to be wrong.

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Despite the fact that the effects of 400 years of overt, institutional racism (which ended in living memory, like within the last 50 years) are plainly evident all around us, and despite the fact that African-Americans are still clearly kept down by covert and tacit institutional racism, the last twenty five years have seen a steady chipping away at affirmative action policies meant to address these real effects of real racism. And look at the attacks on affirmative action: people claim it's racism!


Affirmative action is a form of racial prejudice, and while I can see the intent behind it, I also think it's a big mess.

I've read enough complaints from minorities who have experienced people believing that they were recipients of affirmative action rather than accepting that they were able to get there on their own hard work to think that the policy isn't helping race relations.

While the original intent was "we've had a head start for long enough, we'll give you one this time to make it equal" it has turned into, in many peoples minds, "minorities aren't good enough to succeed on their own merits so they need this boost to help them."

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That racism is synonymous with white supremacy, and that white people are the primary benefactors of racism, is no reason for a white person to feel guilty. The proper response is to acknowledge the reality of the situation and address one's own white privilege. And that's the real point here, that white people aren't the "bad guys," but rather that white people are the benefactors of racism/white supremacy. I suspect that many of the people who argue vehemently that the only relevant racism is white supremacy are people who know they benefit from white privilege and feel guilty about it.


Whenever I hear the words 'white privilege' I get aggravated. Not because I don't believe it exists, in fact I'm certain it does. To draw a parallel to what I was saying on the sexism thread, the reason that business structures are designed to favor men is because they were created by men. The reason that modern US culture is designed to favor whites is because for the most part it was built by whites. We're living in a European social model, not an African one or an Asian one. So of course the people who created it did so for themselves. The question is, did they have the right to do so?

Anyway the reason I get annoyed when I hear white privilege is because it seems to be a code word for "If we talk about this we can say we've done something." I mean come on. I'm white. I'm priviliged to live in a white social structure. I have white privilege.

So let me go pat myself on the back for admitting it? That's not the end of the story, and most of the time when I see that phrase it's used in the context of "Once you see you have it you'll be able to make the world better." Excuse me but better HOW? Which road do we take from here? Do we expect assimilation to Euro values in a Euro social system? Do we change the Euro social system to encompass non Euro (and often conflicting) value systems? Do we abandon the Euro social system altogether, and if so, what do we replace it with?

I think a big issue is confusing "race" with "culture" - for the most part, white people don't think much of their Euro origins. And what we do think of it, we jumble together in a big mess of "Euro" because we're so used to thinking in terms of "white" - St Patricks Day is a "white" holiday, there's no need to be Irish to celebrate it. I don't see many Japanese people celebrating Chinese New Year just because it's an "Asian" holiday.

So the question is - is the issue race, or culture? I think if the issue is race, it would be a lot easier to move past. Skin tone doesn't define a person, and any person of any skin tone can "assimiliate" into mainstream culture. Your example of James vs. Lamarr is a good example of that - is James white or black? Who knows? He could be Korean.

If the issue is culture, I've got no solutions. Full stop. No idea on how to make warring cultures get along. I wonder if anyone does.




blacksword404 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 8:52:50 PM)

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ORIGINAL: Notsweet

The problem with Gor is that there's no place for men who aren't superior to anything.(A man who has this kind of mindset is likely predisposed to a collar.) They're not superior to women, and they're hardly superior to their own shoes.


Sure there is...slave. Always work to do.

Thing is if you suck...well then you suck. And if you don't measure up then it's not me who has the problem. Failure should not be a state of being. It should be a supreme motivator.




sexyred1 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 9:24:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

I've never done sales.  I have these things called "ethics."




So everytime you buy something you deal with an unethical person? That must hurt you.

Just imagine how hard it is for the poor motherfucker, trying to earn a living, who has to deal with a pompous ass?

Sweeping generalizations, while amusing, are almost aways flawed.


Jeff


Thanks Jefff for addressing the above comment, although I would never consider myself some "poor motherfucker".

What a ridiculous comment to say that being in sales lacks ethics. I truly resent that on behalf of all the great, hardworking sales professionals, like myself, who bring in the revenue that allows most of you to keep your jobs at the various places you work.

You are so caught up in the feminist argument that you fail to see that nothing is black and white and in all professions, not just sales, there are some with no ethics and others, like me, who conduct all their business with a high degree of ethics.

Sales is a very difficult, stressful and often thankless business, especially in corporate America, despite the fact that we are funding the growth of the companies.

While there has been endless discussion here about how women use their sexuality or femininity to help them sell, that may be true in some cases, but it as much true for the men who take clients out on the golf course, or the strip clubs to close deals.

I don't take anyone to strip clubs or play golf, yet I manage to usually be the highest revenue producer on my teams, of mostly men. I tend to rely on my brain, knowledge of the industry and the client and my creative suggestions for achieving their goals.

If a guy wants to do business with me more than my male colleagues because he thinks I am cute, or likes try to catch a glance at my boobs, well that is just fair business play.

I believe in equal pay for men and women and if I sell more than a man or woman, I should earn more. If I sell less, I earn less.

It really is not as complicated as many here are making it; if you can be a feminist and submissive, you can also be ethical and in sales, and yes, still a feminist even if you use your femininity along with your wits, in sales.




EPGAH -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 10:22:02 PM)

Bravo!
Capitalism helps those who help themselves. You need to understand that there are lazy bastards who don't do shit for themselves, and they deserve to have a poor life. If they are women, black or any other "minority", that should be treated as casualty, not causality!

Handouts are bad because they wouldn't need to seek to better themselves and climb the ladder with a silly concept like "Personal Merit" when they see they can get whatever they want by bitching loud enough--It's literally rewarding a BAD thing!
You do not make progress by handouts and welfare. Not only is this degrading, but it also makes them welfare-dependent instead of self sufficient and autonomous.
Unless that's the idea? Make everyone government-dependent serfs?

However, this thread seems to have moved away from BDSM, and gone more to the sociopolitical consequences of misogyny and racial discrimination.




Icarys -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 10:35:38 PM)

quote:

I don't take anyone to strip clubs or play golf, yet I manage to usually be the highest revenue producer on my teams, of mostly men. I tend to rely on my brain, knowledge of the industry and the client and my creative suggestions for achieving their goals.

If a guy wants to do business with me more than my male colleagues because he thinks I am cute, or likes try to catch a glance at my boobs, well that is just fair business play.

Something about these two parts seem contradictory. I'll highlight the parts...No I guess you don't need to take them to the strip club when you got the show in your blouse lol.

To me taking them to the strip club and knowing they are looking at your tits seems pretty much like the same approach..selling with sex..Now I could care less..just call it like it is.




blacksword404 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 10:41:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

The humorous thing about you, is how wrong you are. I was sad and lonely before I became an asshole. Now, I couldn't be happier. It's liberating when you realize your worth isn't based in how the opposite sex views you. And by the way, a complete lack of trust is not the same thing as fear. I will never fear a woman. Yet I will never trust one either.



Well a quote came to mind after reading that.

I don't dislike women, I merely distrust them. Sherlock Holmes




Lucienne -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 10:57:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To me taking them to the strip club and knowing they are looking at your tits seems pretty much like the same approach..selling with sex..



Only one involves an overt act. Seems like that should count for something. Developing secondary sex characteristics isn't an "approach." I mean, you can argue the grey area of how a woman dresses, but just knowing that someone is looking at your breasts?




Icarys -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/2/2010 11:06:39 PM)

quote:

Only one involves an overt act. Seems like that should count for something. Developing secondary sex characteristics isn't an "approach." I mean, you can argue the grey area of how a woman dresses, but just knowing that someone is looking at your breasts?

I figured someone would try and make that distinction. The wearing of clothes is a factor..Lets not diminish it especially when a female might know full well and even act on the knowledge that her body will help her get something. There is a difference but...if you know someone is looking and buying from you because of it,,you are essentially selling with sex...it's just not the lets go look at some tits at a club approach.When the outcome is the same and you know it will be based on what your doing..overtly or not..don't fool yourself into believing.."My way is better than their way".




Lucienne -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/3/2010 12:21:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

Only one involves an overt act. Seems like that should count for something. Developing secondary sex characteristics isn't an "approach." I mean, you can argue the grey area of how a woman dresses, but just knowing that someone is looking at your breasts?

I figured someone would try and make that distinction. The wearing of clothes is a factor..Lets not diminish it especially when a female might know full well and even act on the knowledge that her body will help her get something. There is a difference but...if you know someone is looking and buying from you because of it,,you are essentially selling with sex...it's just not the lets go look at some tits at a club approach.When the outcome is the same and you know it will be based on what your doing..overtly or not..don't fool yourself into believing.."My way is better than their way".


Meaningful distinctions normally are predictable. Having breasts is not "doing" something. And when it comes to big knockers, it can be a no-win situation for the woman. What is she supposed to do -- wear a kaftan all the time? Should women bind their breasts to prevent any perceived advantage? Studies show that attractive people have an advantage in sales. Perhaps good looking guys should wear paper bags over their heads?




EPGAH -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/3/2010 2:49:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

Only one involves an overt act. Seems like that should count for something. Developing secondary sex characteristics isn't an "approach." I mean, you can argue the grey area of how a woman dresses, but just knowing that someone is looking at your breasts?

I figured someone would try and make that distinction. The wearing of clothes is a factor..Lets not diminish it especially when a female might know full well and even act on the knowledge that her body will help her get something. There is a difference but...if you know someone is looking and buying from you because of it,,you are essentially selling with sex...it's just not the lets go look at some tits at a club approach.When the outcome is the same and you know it will be based on what your doing..overtly or not..don't fool yourself into believing.."My way is better than their way".


Meaningful distinctions normally are predictable. Having breasts is not "doing" something. And when it comes to big knockers, it can be a no-win situation for the woman. What is she supposed to do -- wear a kaftan all the time? Should women bind their breasts to prevent any perceived advantage? Studies show that attractive people have an advantage in sales. Perhaps good looking guys should wear paper bags over their heads?


You forgot two big things--No, not those, get your mind out of the gutter, and get mine, while you're down there!
1.) Family Guy made it most obvious, but sex DOES sell, "Maybe if me buy product, me get pretty girl!"
2.) Male salesmen are seen as competitors, even enemies, while females are seen as something to win over. As such, men are more likely to buy from women.
http://www.physorg.com/news117383623.html
Pay attention to the passage, "If it was the opposite gender and they were highly attractive, the participants were willing to pay more"

Now, in all likelihood, if women were selling, they'd see fellow WOMEN as threats and men as something to be won over...But that's SLIDERS territory (Or your favorite AR series, TV/movie/literature)!

Edited to add: As to big knockers, do you REALLY believe men go to Hooters for the FOOD?




Aynne88 -> RE: Misogyny and BDSM (1/3/2010 2:54:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
What a ridiculous comment to say that being in sales lacks ethics...


That's your first hint that I wasn't making a statement of fact, and was actually just taking a potshot at Annye.  Though I prefer the terms "wry" and "droll" to "ridiculous," and think they're more accurate.




Bullshit and SexyRed called you out on it. [:)]. Love that girl.




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