RE: Any REAL sub men on here?

RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (Full Version)

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submgreenbay -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/22/2010 2:25:39 PM)
I'm a submissive male. I've been on the site for about 9 years. It takes a lot of work to sort out the real gems as mentioned before. D/s requires an immense amount of trust building, also as mentioned. Scrutiny is high and seems to only get higher over time. This is because one discovers that there are many levels (some initial) of compatibilty that must be present to make it work. For me the biggest hang up always seems to be the real life stuff like; work and distance.

twisted999 -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/22/2010 6:17:03 PM)
The search can be very frustrating. Although I did have a actual relationship with a Domme I met on Alt, now that I'm single again I feel like I have better odds just sifting through the apparently vanilla girls I meet in the real world to find another who shares my kinks. Part of the problem too is not being able to define your role with greater precision up-front. For example, I'd love a relationship with another Domme, but I'm not seeking anyone who is a) looking for money, b) looking for me to cam for them even though I have no idea who you are, c) anyone who's too wrapped up in themsevles or their supposed role to have a healthy relationship with some D/s spice. CM is a great experiment, but there doesn't seem to be a easy answer to the problems that plauge both Dommes and subs alike on here.

WyldHrt -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/22/2010 6:53:34 PM)
Welcome to the forums, Twisted. My best advice is to get to know people here on the boards instead of relying on the other side. You might not meet your dream Domme here, but you might meet her best friend and get introduced! [;)]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/22/2010 8:21:48 PM)
Wyld is SMART, not just pretty!! I tell new folks to the public scene that the best thing they can do is make friends of ALL types, and not worry about gender and orientation. You can learn so much from different opinions and orientations, and you never know who you will meet who can introduce you to someone great. At the worst, you have made friends, and how horrible is that? [;)]

LadyOddsworth -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/23/2010 12:21:05 AM)
Holy smokes!! I think I may have found one.... Glory be.

twisted999 -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/23/2010 1:51:13 AM)
Thank you Wyld for the advice. I must admit that I was relying on the other side almost exclusively before and didn't participate at all in the forums. This is my second profile on here - so I've actually been a member in some form for over a year now. I think I might have been a little shy before of interacting with others in a semi-public forum related to kink, but I feel that fear has passed somehow.

WyldHrt -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/23/2010 3:04:50 AM)
You're welcome [:D] The water is fine (err... sometimes we use green jello instead of water, you cool with that?), dive on in! [;)]

notinferior -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/23/2010 5:28:23 PM)
Quick, easy answer..... but I'll take the long path, just because its a forum and I have unlimited space. So often we hear people say that dominant women are in the minority, and it looks as though they are, given the numbers of "sub" men on a site like this compared to the "dom" women. The reality, though, is not so simple. I am convinced that about half to more than half of the men are actually married and just trolling to see what is "out there". These guys will chat for a short time, then disappear when it gets real. Answer: get their phone number as quickly as possible. Real guys will give you the number without a lot of fear. Married guys, no way. Next, a lot of "sub" men are actually "dom" men who want to see what the other side is like. Same thing, they disappear fast. Next, a lot of guys are dreamers. We dream about female authority and have an inkling that it might be a great lifestyle, but the reality is that they could never live it.... family and friends would embarrass them too much. Answer: Start asking the guy about his family, the reality of the thing will hit him fast. In the end, submissive men, real sub men who have truly thought the thing out are actually pretty rare. 24/7 types are even more so. Men who aren't afraid to acknowledge their submissive nature publicly are even rarer. In the end, I believe that there are actually more dominant women than truly submissive men who have the guts to walk the walk. Thus, on a site like this, there are a whole lot of men who disappear fast when you contact them. Women though, not so much.

subinchico -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/23/2010 10:05:34 PM)
Very insightful! Maturity, age, distance from death; change many submales into more specific paths. Yes, as a youth I was playing with fire, playing chicken and once she called me on it I hesitated, big time. Now I take many more chances, what the fuck, you only live once, at least this way! bb quote: ORIGINAL: notinferior Quick, easy answer..... but I'll take the long path, just because its a forum and I have unlimited space. So often we hear people say that dominant women are in the minority, and it looks as though they are, given the numbers of "sub" men on a site like this compared to the "dom" women. The reality, though, is not so simple. I am convinced that about half to more than half of the men are actually married and just trolling to see what is "out there". These guys will chat for a short time, then disappear when it gets real. Answer: get their phone number as quickly as possible. Real guys will give you the number without a lot of fear. Married guys, no way. Next, a lot of "sub" men are actually "dom" men who want to see what the other side is like. Same thing, they disappear fast. Next, a lot of guys are dreamers. We dream about female authority and have an inkling that it might be a great lifestyle, but the reality is that they could never live it.... family and friends would embarrass them too much. Answer: Start asking the guy about his family, the reality of the thing will hit him fast. In the end, submissive men, real sub men who have truly thought the thing out are actually pretty rare. 24/7 types are even more so. Men who aren't afraid to acknowledge their submissive nature publicly are even rarer. In the end, I believe that there are actually more dominant women than truly submissive men who have the guts to walk the walk. Thus, on a site like this, there are a whole lot of men who disappear fast when you contact them. Women though, not so much.

slavekal -> RE: Any REAL sub men on here? (1/23/2010 11:29:48 PM)
Good point, Lady Hibiscus. You can never tell who might introduce you to the right person. I was introduced to Ms. Mlicious at a party because the hostess and I were friends, and she knew I could be trusted not to be too much of a jerk.

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