Does your response matter?

Does your response matter? (Full Version)

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hisdarlinsweetie -> Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 8:47:13 PM)
I have noticed a lot of rude responses on the boards lately, especially by female subs. They seem to be in response to a few specific doms who tend to be inflammatory and instigating. While I believe that it is good to debate your opinion, I wonder about the tone of the responses. In my relationship, how I behave is a reflection on my Sir. If I were being rude or resort to name calling, He would be embarrassed and angry with me. I am a reflection of His taste and manners. He would rather have me not speak than insult someone I disagree with. I know that not everyone is in a relationship, and those who are don't do it the same as us, but I am curious if the anonymity of the boards makes it acceptable to act in ways that one wouldn't normally act. Do you think the tone and manner in which you post on the boards matter? If you are single and searching, does it ever cross your mind that a potential partner might search your posts and dismiss getting to know you because of your behavior on the boards? Would you speak to someone in person the same way that you respond here on the boards?

UniqueRaven -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 8:52:11 PM)
i absolutely think it does matter. Even though i am not owned right now, my behavior on the boards is a reflection upon myself, and upon my future owner. So even though i may have a sense of humor about things, i believe in being respectful to everyone on these boards, even if i disagree, as that is my place, and what is right. [:)] Looking forward to other responses.... julie

hopelessfool -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:00:26 PM)
Im sorry that you feel some subs are stepping out of place by responding in a more argumentative manner... however if a dom passes me by over something as silly as a forum post on a board... then he really isnt all that great a dom now is he? I mean Im a smart intelligent woman shouldnt my dom enjoy the fact that i have enough pride and love of myself to defend my honor should i have to?

wisdomtogive -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:04:32 PM)
I do try to use as much respect towards everyone, even when i disagree. I have a habit of driving a point and i know that, like a dog with a bone. If i go over what I feel is respectful, I do apologize. What I wont do is swear at someone, or call them a name. I don't do that in my real life nor on the internet. Basically i am the same in both lifes. As I stated on some thread today, I honor my Sir, but I have to honor the Goddess Pele whom i follow. My spiritual and religious pagan beliefs rule me pretty tightly. Because I honor my Goddess and my faith, i have to make sure i am a good representive to HER as well. Sir would not want me if I was flippant and used cussing words or name calling calling, which was one thing he did notice about me for past couple years. He knows how discipline i am in my spiritual calling. So for me, it works and who i am works well for Sir.

sexyred1 -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:05:07 PM)
I totally agree with you hopelessfool. I am tired of people, Doms and fellow subs alike deciding what is the proper way for a sub to "behave" on a message board. As you said, I am only interested in a man who appreciates my communication skills. Whether I am with someone or not, I don't post to make anyone look good or bad; I own what I write and 99% of the time I am glad I wrote it. The other 1% might land me in the bitchy category, but that is usually provoked by some moron. Not that quid pro quo is the admirable thing to do, it just is what it is at that time.

hisdarlinsweetie -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:08:55 PM)
I didn't exactly mean that subs were stepping out of their place. As I mentioned in my OP, the name calling, insults and general rudeness seem to be in response to a few particular dom-types. I said mostly female subs, because I see that type of response mostly from female subs. It is good to be an intelligent debater and defend your opinions, no matter which side of the kneel you are. It's just how you debate that I am curious about.

hopelessfool -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:09:19 PM)
My question is when did submissive's stop being considered humans with no emotions. It takes a lot for me to snap for the most part, some people worm their way in easier, some dont affect me at all. However you get to the point where i snap, it means youve been sitting there poking me over and over and over and over again with a very pointy stick.. any anyone who doesnt learn from the first poke to back off... gets what they deserve subly or not.

sexyred1 -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:13:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hisdarlinsweetie I didn't exactly mean that subs were stepping out of their place. As I mentioned in my OP, the name calling, insults and general rudeness seem to be in response to a few particular dom-types. I said mostly female subs, because I see that type of response mostly from female subs. It is good to be an intelligent debater and defend your opinions, no matter which side of the kneel you are. It's just how you debate that I am curious about. If you have been following the recent threads you are citing, you would see there was an equal amount of angry, insulting, name calling and rude Dominant men, Dominant women and yes, subs. So it is not just female subs. I like intellectual debate also, but some of the recent threads don't call for intelligence since the OP's are too concerned with being provocative and not listening to others opinions or advice.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:17:00 PM)
My thoughts are that you can be an intelligent debater and defend your opinions and still be respectful, sub/slave or Dom/me. This is just my approach to life in general, though. i don't think it makes me more "slavely" or anything, it just is who i am. i don't see my opinions as particularly valuable or in need of defending, they are just that, my opinions - which may be different from someone elses, and that's ok too. i gain a whole lot more from considering other's opinions than trying to drive mine home in debate. [:)]

littlewonder -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:17:05 PM)
I say what I'm thinking. If my Master had a problem with it I'm sure he'd let me know since I know he does read what I write from time to time. Apparently he's fine with it though since he knew how I wrote before we ever met in person since we met from this site.

hopelessfool -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:22:06 PM)
however the things being said are not in debate fashion they are in attack fashion, if someone was sitting there real life hitting you say with a book and its not something you consented to, would you let it continue because he says hes "dom" I can say im a fairy princess, but i still havent grown wings yet. most of these "doms" aren't doms, they are trouble making pot stirrers

WyldHrt -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:25:25 PM)
quote: I totally agree with you hopelessfool. I am tired of people, Doms and fellow subs alike deciding what is the proper way for a sub to "behave" on a message board. This. quote: Do you think the tone and manner in which you post on the boards matter? Yep. As SexyRed said, I own what I say here. The tone and manner used usually depends on what I'm replying to. A sincere question gets a sincere, polite response; blatant shit stirring and jackassery gets a somewhat less polite response. quote: If you are single and searching, does it ever cross your mind that a potential partner might search your posts and dismiss getting to know you because of your behavior on the boards? If he does, then both of us have been saved some effort. I am what I am and see no point in pretending to be something else just to attract someone who will not be compatible anyway. quote: Would you speak to someone in person the same way that you respond here on the boards? Again, yep. I don't suffer fools very well, online or in real.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:27:33 PM)
Honestly if someone is attacking me i don't care if he's "Dom" or not, my response is the same. i disengage. i really don't care about their opinion about me, or my thoughts, at that point. If there is nothing left that i can learn from them, or if they're being a screaming monkey about it, i just walk away. No harm, no foul, and i didn't waste any energy in "defending" myself. And there's no value in trying to drive my point home, especially if i can see that there's no way that he/she will ever "get it." During those times i remember my favorite Robert Heinlein quote: "Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig." [;)] julie

EbonyWood -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:29:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hisdarlinsweetie I didn't exactly mean that subs were stepping out of their place. As I mentioned in my OP, the name calling, insults and general rudeness seem to be in response to a few particular dom-types. I said mostly female subs, because I see that type of response mostly from female subs. It is good to be an intelligent debater and defend your opinions, no matter which side of the kneel you are. It's just how you debate that I am curious about. Except most of the behavior you cite doesn't happen in debates. A troll thinly disguised as a self proclaimed Dom throwing out inane comments that some gullible types mistake as genuine enquiry is not a debate. If some people of all stripes choose to (correctly) identify said person as an insecure, attention deprived delusionist, then that is their right. You will find most of what descends below desirable levels of respect to be self inflicted and deserved. It's a small matter - to give it credence validates some of the motive. The worst aspect is that they are included by some in a category of Dominants. Nothing could be less true.

brokenheart56 -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:30:34 PM)
hi!!! as a master looking for someone i think you are correct an respect needs to shown. no one should be cursed at or put down. disagree with me, but do it with respect. if you want me to degrade you i do it in private. what we do in private is between master an sub. i belive in respect between a sub an master. i belive respect for a subs life is inportant, more so if a child is in the picture an depending on the relationship.i would like opions from subs an their masters if possible on this. happy new years to all!!!!!!

wisdomtogive -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:34:55 PM)
A dom is not guarantee my respect. Few on line have it, to be honest. A sub is not guarantee my respect either, but more subs do have it compare to the Doms here. You do not lose my respect for how you(the collective) expresses yourself. i love a challenge and a conquest, but it is all in challenging myself and conquering areas that i am working on at the time. In real life as well as here, i have perfected the ability to cut a person down a few pegs without calling them a name or swearing at them. I will do so if need be. How i live my life is not to win friends or influence anyone, it is to challenge me. I do not judge another in how they wish to live their life. Many people do not even listen, because they are too busy trying to justify themselves in their own eyes. This some times irritates me, and i really would love to take a frying pan to their head. sigh.............it would only accomplish one thing, me probably getting sued. 'You can lead a horse to water but make them drink', and i love that phrase. It too has taught me a valuable way of living, say what i need to, and do not have any expectations that they will listen. edited cause i am half a sleep and being very sloopy

hopelessfool -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:35:09 PM)
Broken heart, Respect from me is earned it isnt given because you found a kinky website in your porno searching and you get off on sitting here jerking other people around most DEFIANTLY if those jerks around are slightly illegal activities. If you dont show respect you dont get respect. If I am thinking properly these people often throw around the insults first like using words such as cunt bitch slut, and various other unhappy names toward these female submissives/ If someone was attacking your submissive wouldn't you want her to show she has a back bone and make you proud by showing she can handle herself in a battle of wits. I understand its cruel to battle someone who has a tiny dagger with a large sword but i cant help it if my skill at gutting a moron, has been trained to a vicious state over the time.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:40:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hopelessfool however the things being said are not in debate fashion they are in attack fashion, if someone was sitting there real life hitting you say with a book and its not something you consented to, would you let it continue because he says hes "dom" I can say im a fairy princess, but i still havent grown wings yet. most of these "doms" aren't doms, they are trouble making pot stirrers If in real life if someone was hitting me with a book then i would get up, give him the "look", and walk away. i really don't care. But if he chased me with that book, and kept hitting me with it, well, then he gets what's coming to him. And then some. i am a pretty tough chick, after all..... But words? i can always walk away from words, seriously, whatever. Honestly, the way i treat others, no matter where they are on the chain, is an outcome of how i want to feel about myself. At some point in my life i will have to sit down with myself and ask myself if i'm happy about how i treated others. And for me, i want to treat them now in a way that says yes, i'm happy with that, even if they're total dipwads about things. Doesn't mean i'm always perfect, and yes, you will see me lash out at times, but i do my best - and ultimately that's all that matters. i don't judge others though, that's up to them (and perhaps their Doms/Masters) how they behave. Everyone is different, and we're all just trying to find our way through life, doing the best we can. Maybe that's the yoga teacher in me, but it is truly how i think. [:)]

hisdarlinsweetie -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:43:29 PM)
Thank you for all the responses. I think that I am understanding the different points of view. I guess I try to treat everyone with respect or ignore them if they show me that they don't deserve respect. I guess I have always thought of it as people automatically have my respect unless they do something to lose it, not the other way around. I hadn't ever thought of it as people needing to earn my respect before I treat them respectfully. I do understand that there are people here who try to stir the pot. I guess I just didn't understand the responses to those people. It seems to me that those people would most likely go away if everyone ignored them instead of taking their bait, but I could very well be wrong.

hopelessfool -> RE: Does your response matter? (1/1/2010 9:46:21 PM)
The difference for me is, words cut much more deeply then any type of physical violence could ever happen to touch me. My physical flesh has an amazing healing rate, my mind does not however due to repeated trauma to it (poor mind:(..) Anywho someone who goes out of their way to be intentionally cruel to strangers on an internet forum, or maybe possibly even triggers a bad flash back. Say if someone brings up rape, and you are a survivor of such an act. I could see if it was a board about play rape but say it wasnt, and it was mentioned in an act toward you the survivor, wouldnt you react in a harsher light then if it was say about feeding a pair of bunny slippers to a dog? the thing with internet forums no one really knows the intentions or drive beyond ones post. Say for example the rape survivor, might be reacting out of a flash back. Or the doms throwing insults, maybe they were dumped by their highschool sweetheart. maybe something "unbecomming" of a someone was said out of god knows what, some times you cant detach emotions. sometimes you just have to let them out...

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