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LadyPact -> RE: 'Breaking' a Dominant (1/2/2010 11:14:23 AM)
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Taken from the very thread that was referenced:
However, I don't know if the bend her over and spank her to show her the OP's in charge will necessarily work. Sure, it's what you would do or what I would do because <shrug> we ARE Dominant. It might not be so easy for the OP and if the wife doesn't see him as a Dominant individual, it might go over like a lead balloon. It could work. It might not.
What people fail to see at times is that it is perfectly ok not to be a Dominant. It's peachy keen not to be a submissive. It's fine to be exactly who in the world you want to be that fits you. If you are happy and content in your interactions with another, you wouldn't be here asking questions on how to be happier in life. If there weren't incompatibilities, there would be no reason for discontent.
It's when folks aren't happy that they bring their situations for input here. Something isn't working for them. They have wants that aren't realized or don't know how to iron out the areas that aren't compatible. Settling these issues is the goal in pre-existing relationships.
I look at folks like the OP. I see what they have and how much of their dynamic is based on their common compatibility. In each other, they have found that thing that makes them well suited for M/s.
Yet, in their individual history, it wasn't always like that. Look up their posts that talk about incompatibilities with others past. Listen to what they have said about being matched with someone who didn't fit them. Today, they have something wonderful. In the past, with other partners, they weren't fully who they are. Not because their inner longings changed, but because what they had with other people wasn't working. I'll bet that if Merc hadn't met beth, he might just have come here asking why the partner he was with wasn't 'slave' enough for him. I'll bet beth would do the same if she was involved with someone who didn't hold her definition of 'Master'.
Either one of them could be in relationships with just plain vanilla people. That doesn't make those folks wrong or bad. They just don't plain fit who they are paired with.
The answer isn't attempt to be who you're not. The answer is to be who you are and find ways that everyone has their wants fulfilled. Isn't that what we're here for? To find the greateset amount of happiness, enjoyment, and fun that we can possibly have with someone?
Are only the kinky folks supposed to have the corner on the market for that, or is it everyone?
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