Question for Jewish D/s couples:

Question for Jewish D/s couples: (Full Version)

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Firebirdseeking -> Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/2/2010 7:18:05 PM)
If you are married, did you have a ketubah, and if so, how did you word it to reflect your lifestyle/ D/s values?

AquaticSub -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 2:43:30 AM)
There were problems with my conversion at the last minute (long fucking story however I consider myself Jewish and I'm not converting simply for the marriage as there is/was no reason for me to do so on that count) so we elected not to have a ketubah at our wedding. Once the loose ends are wrapped up, probably in the next few years, we are going to have a very small ceramony in which we are re-wed and then we will sign the ketubah. Likely, we will either go with a very traditional one or alter it to focus more on love. I don't think it will have a BDSM element, or at least not an overt one. [:)]

Firebirdseeking -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 5:40:47 AM)
Yes, it doesnt have to reflect specific BDSM element, in fact, we would not want it to; but I would like it to have a traditional focus that reflects our relationship as a D/s couple; have you found one?

ForeverOwned -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 11:37:59 AM)
What you can do is have a seperate collaring ceremony and create your own special contract for that. You are more free and you can have anything you have ever imagined. That's what we did a few years after we were married. We didn't have a contract, but we said vows to each other that were to me just as meaningful if not more than the ones we said at the wedding.

wisdomtogive -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 12:14:50 PM)
Hi Firebirdseeking I sent you a link on this through your cmail. I do hope it helps you. Blessings, wisdom/oceanwynds

AquaticSub -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 12:33:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking Yes, it doesnt have to reflect specific BDSM element, in fact, we would not want it to; but I would like it to have a traditional focus that reflects our relationship as a D/s couple; have you found one? Well as traditional ones can come off as a bill of sale (http://www.galleryjudaica.com/articles/TradText.html) we'll probably use something like this only modified a bit to reflect our personalities. The more traditional ones are somewhat like a slave contract - they outline the duties and requirements of both parties and speak very little of love or affection.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 1:48:29 PM)
Firebird, I take it that your relationship with your Canadian is moving along better than well? Congratulations!

Firebirdseeking -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 2:53:18 PM)
Thank you kindly for the link, Aqua, I will read that over. Not sure I want a traditional Orthodox one either as I am not Orthodox, but I dont like the idea of the "Egalitarian" ketubah, either....

AquaticSub -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/3/2010 2:56:10 PM)
Well, I don't think you need to be Orthodox to use it as an inspiration for your own so that it spells out you both will do and not do in the marriage. [:)] I'd suggest looking over websites that specialize in them. There are about a million different ways to word it and have it be valid!

Manawyddan -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/9/2010 5:04:15 AM)
Another possibility would be to use traditional wording but include symbolism in the artistic design of the ketubah which reflects your interests and relationship.

Firebirdseeking -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/11/2010 10:34:29 AM)
I am not sure what "traditional" wording is - I think it assumes an Orthodox orientation, and that both husband and wife are Jewish. I am not Orthodox and he is not Jewish....

newbie101 -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/11/2010 12:16:01 PM)
well if thats the case u dont really have a choice mite have to go for reform but look at reconstructionist. they r pretty open.

AquaticSub -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/11/2010 4:34:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am not sure what "traditional" wording is - I think it assumes an Orthodox orientation, and that both husband and wife are Jewish. I am not Orthodox and he is not Jewish.... It's simply the word that has been most commonly used since Ketubahs came into being. There are tons of variations and it really depends on how people feel in regards to it. You might want to pick up a copy of "The New Jewish Wedding" by Anita Diamant. It contains a great section on the history of the ketubah and has several pictures of sample ketubahs. I found the book to very useful when planning my wedding to Valyraen. If nothing else, start googling Ketubah texts. There are only about a million variations and since you aren't concerned about Jewish law (I assume since he isn't Jewish) you can pretty much put anything you want in there.

hejira92 -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/11/2010 5:14:35 PM)
I would just avoid the ones that name the bride price (just HOW many goats is he trading for you??). My brother got married in Israel 30 years ago and their contract spelled it all out..... Also, be sure the clergy who is marrying you will sign one for a non-jewish groom. Reform or reconstructionist should be no problem.

domiguy -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/11/2010 5:21:07 PM)
In most Jewish collaring ceremonies that I have witnessed....The chatan has the kallah blow him before the ceremony for good luck....He just lifts his kittel and the kallah goes about her biz... In more recent collaring ceremonies I have seen that the badeken has been replaced by a latex mask...It is reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before submitting to Isaac. The latex is a nice touch and by temporarily blinding the kallah it seems to enhance the ceremony dramatically. With eyes now covered by latex the kallah is guided under the chupah by the chatan....Please remove all jewelry. Piercings are allowed to stay in place and are said to be the only jewelry under the chupah that is tolerated by G-d. The kallah kneels to the right of the chatan. Two cups are brought forward....the one with wine is given to the chatan while the kallah enjoys a glass of warm piss. The collar is then presented by the chatan to the kallah....And that just about wraps up the ceremony. You might say some meaningless things about devotion, truth and honesty and your endless pursuit of a sister slave for the kallah...But I digress as we are drawing towards the climax of the ritual. The kallah places a glass butt plug on the ground and the chatan smashes it with a paddle....Signifying the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem as well as signaling to the kallah that a much larger hunk of glass will be embedded in her ass in the not so distant future. At this point the crowd will be shouting shit like "mozel tov" and by this time you will probably wish that you were no longer Jewish.

Firebirdseeking -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/11/2010 6:39:06 PM)
I dont believe that your response has anything to do with my original post.

domiguy -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/12/2010 2:00:29 PM)
Who cares. Everyone knows that this whole bdsm thingy is not for Jews.

Firebirdseeking -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/12/2010 6:30:03 PM)
Oh really. I wonder how it is you have determined this. Personal experience? Scientific research? former member of Jdate?

AquaticSub -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/12/2010 6:43:05 PM)
Word to the wise: That's just how domiguy makes his point. I don't always agree with his tactic but there isn't much point in getting your feathers ruffled.

Firebirdseeking -> RE: Question for Jewish D/s couples: (1/12/2010 7:00:09 PM)
I see. How he makes his point is by being inappropriate but I should just ignore it, not get my feathers ruffled...

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