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RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/4/2010 9:02:59 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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~FR~
I've tried it before, it did not last, and I will not do strictly online again. I admit when I was first kinky, I did try an online-only relationship, I got way into it mentally and thought I was in looooooove, but then I always felt so alone when I got off the computer. But for some, it really does seem to work. My opinion is, how far can Domination/submission really go online, even using a webcam? Not very far. And who is to say the other person really is who they say they are? I need the real live, hands-on D/s, love and cuddles. (Yes, I'm one of those greedy types that "wants it all." lol) In my opinion, it works as a step towards meeting in person within a few weeks, but if I am never going to meet the person, I won't keep up an online relationship. It's just missing something.

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Post #: 21

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/4/2010 9:06:59 PM

ceebee

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline

Since I'm a pain slut who's REALLY into bondage, the whole online thing just doesn't work for me, it's way to hard to type while handcuffed and blindfolded.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 22

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/4/2010 11:30:28 PM

EbonyWood

Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

The text from a profile I viewed today:

"I like to be tied up, used and abused. Looking for someone for online only for now. "

I kid you not.

(in reply to Fallout212)

Post #: 23

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/5/2010 3:42:49 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

Cyber can be great... but it is not really real

and if you get wildly into this and then set up a real meet... you have to keep in mind that maybe they know a whole lot about you and you might know nothing but lies about them...

there is a difference between starting a relationship on-line, using the computer to find people and have a few innocent emails or chats to see if you match before you agree on a meet,
and dirty mind blowing cyber... which might be with someone you do not want to know in real life at all... haha

also prepare for the fact that many cyber people tend to disappear without trace

(in reply to Fallout212)

Post #: 24

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/5/2010 10:51:33 AM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fallout212

Just a little bit curious, if you're a Dom, what are your thoughts on having an online relationship with a submissive?

Reason I'm asking is because, at the time, that is what I am looking for. I wanted to get other people's opinion on it. Personally, to me, an online relationship to me just an alternative, since due to current restrictions in my life, I am unable to relocate myself with that ideal Dom. I know that a webcam online could never substitute physical contact in real life, but do you feel that an online relationship COULD work, or that it would never work?

I'm not claiming to be able to relate from personal experience directly to your position with it's restrictions. (I never went looking for what found me). I can though speak from a position of knowledge on the issue of online as a means to maintain a long distance relationship. It works if you want it to and the relationship works, just like any relationship. Anyone who has no first hand experience, is not in a position to offer anything other than uninformed opinion.
I think that if your'e open to the possibility then it can work for you. We are all individuals, the nay sayers I've come across are almost without question without relevant knowledge or experience to justify an opinion. Some relationships work, others do not, regardless of how they come about.

As DesFIP pointed out, there are plenty of people (statistically that means plenty who post HERE too) in real life relationships with the wrong person, I'll add to that ... or relationships that aren't working/are never going to last.

So be your own person, embrace the fact that life is yours to live and trust your instincts.

Pirate

(in reply to Fallout212)

Post #: 25

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/6/2010 1:15:15 PM

adx

Posts: 102
Joined: 1/6/2010
Status: offline

For me online stuff is pointless I don't really enjoy it. but it could work for you

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 26

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/6/2010 8:09:58 PM

Delphinus

Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fallout212

Just a little bit curious, if you're a Dom, what are your thoughts on having an online relationship with a submissive?

Reason I'm asking is because, at the time, that is what I am looking for. I wanted to get other people's opinion on it. Personally, to me, an online relationship to me just an alternative, since due to current restrictions in my life, I am unable to relocate myself with that ideal Dom. I know that a webcam online could never substitute physical contact in real life, but do you feel that an online relationship COULD work, or that it would never work?

I am not a Dom, and I think my opinion has changed on this over the years, but I think it could work as long as you are realistic in your expectations. Meaning, it could work if you are looking for a little fun and some relatively safe exploration. I do think that an exclusively online relationship vs. in the flesh are simply apples and oranges, not the same thing at all. But if your relationship is long distance, not just online but simply long distance and you see each other only every few weeks or so - yes, absolutely that could work.

_____________________________

"Silly bitch."

(in reply to Fallout212)

Post #: 27

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/6/2010 9:48:34 PM

ForeverOwned

Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline

i think it's a good idea if you do it for fun and don't let it keep you from meeting real people in your own area.

i have had on line friendships and you can get pretty attached to people. So be careful with that. You don't want to get hurt. Good luck!

(in reply to Delphinus)

Post #: 28

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/6/2010 10:01:10 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

i am not a Master - i do have something to offer you. :)

In my opinion, i think online relationships are fabulous for fantasy fulfillment, as you get to create in your mind an image of what the person on the other end would actually be like in a face-to-face, body-to-body situation. Even if you see the other person on cam, and hear their voice, it is really never real until you are in the same room. So if you are in a place in your life where fantasies are all that you are limited to, or desire, online is a great place for that.

If you'd like more, or to go the next step in forming an actual relationship with someone, for me that involves actually meeting, and taking the risk with another human being that they are not the perfect (or at the least, semi-perfect) fantasy that you are able to create online. There's more risk, more risk of being let down, being hurt, or at the least, being disappointed - but there is also more reward in the form of real human emotion, sensation, and companionship.

i think the most important thing to keep honest about in an online-only relationship for both parties is the understanding that that's all it is - and when you walk away from the computer screen, though you may feel Owned, or that you have a Dom (or he a sub), in a physical sense you don't. And again, that is fine, as long as you keep it in perspective.

i hope this helps,
julie

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to ForeverOwned)

Post #: 29

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/7/2010 9:10:24 AM

LordShadow

Posts: 172
Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline

Solely online? Not for me...and I haven't seen too many that lasted very long...though I do know a couple people who have lasted long term...one of those twelve years (having never met face to face)...so I guess it depends on what each seeks from the relationship.

I use online and phone in training a girl in the beginning, but it is going to go real in the end if they can make it through that.

_____________________________

Ride Hard Live Free
Shadow

True beauty is not seen with the eyes but rather felt in the heart...

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 30

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/7/2010 12:23:49 PM

Huntertn

Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline

It can and has worked befor. You get what you give out of it. My only realy problem is..How can you tell the sub is really doing what you ask. After all, I'm not really there to check am I. It involves alot of trust..and give and take, even more so that face to face because of that. But it can work...

(in reply to LordShadow)

Post #: 31

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/7/2010 4:52:34 PM

Blaakmaan

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/21/2007
Status: offline

Online can be as real as anything, and an online/phone relationship can be as deep as anything.

You'll hear a lot of disparagement of online relationships as "not real."

What is "real," really?

The vanilla world would tell us that none of this BDSM Dom/sub, Master/slave stuff is real.

What's real is what you feel and what you think.

That's true for an online relationship, and it's true for an in-person relationship.

I have online slaves, and our relationships are VERY real.

Of course, we'd like to see other in person one day, and we will, but there's nothing un-real about what's going on in the meantime.

(in reply to Huntertn)

Post #: 32

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/7/2010 9:59:11 PM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Online can be as real as anything, and an online/phone relationship can be as deep as anything.

You'll hear a lot of disparagement of online relationships as "not real."

What is "real," really?

The vanilla world would tell us that none of this BDSM Dom/sub, Master/slave stuff is real.

What's real is what you feel and what you think.

That's true for an online relationship, and it's true for an in-person relationship.

I have online slaves, and our relationships are VERY real.

Of course, we'd like to see other in person one day, and we will, but there's nothing un-real about what's going on in the meantime.

Prediction fulfilled ... I agree with Blaakmaan, (the cycle is complete).

Blaakmaan talks of what you feel and what you think ... remember feelings and thinking ? ... that's real.

Not that I've ever been there myself, but why the fuck can't online work if all involved are cool with it ? Each to their own if you ask me (and even if you don't ... !!!).

Pirate

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 33

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/8/2010 5:30:52 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I have had two long term (several years) relationships with girls who I collared on line and took one to a real life collar when she was visiting my country. They can work well and indeed both worked very well with the one with a real life collar falling away when she disclosed her lies about several basic things once she returned home to her country for the second time and was thus summarily released and dismissed.

My reasons for looking at that time for on line M/s relatiionships were based on the apparent preference for younger Dominants here in Australia against us oldies (I'm now 64 but was getting close to 60 when the last one finished). Again the fact that I am married to a Dopminant Lady wasn't helping as I am never looking for a life partner.

Sooo, yes it does and can work and work well provided that people are suited for it and have agreed rules.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Fallout212)

Post #: 34

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/8/2010 5:39:34 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Online can be as real as anything, and an online/phone relationship can be as deep as anything.

You'll hear a lot of disparagement of online relationships as "not real."

What is "real," really?

The vanilla world would tell us that none of this BDSM Dom/sub, Master/slave stuff is real.

What's real is what you feel and what you think.

That's true for an online relationship, and it's true for an in-person relationship.

I have online slaves, and our relationships are VERY real.

Of course, we'd like to see other in person one day, and we will, but there's nothing un-real about what's going on in the meantime.

Very well said. I had a long term relationship based mostly online (we met once due to distance etc) he is someone that I hold very fondly in my memories as someone who has touched my life far more than many so called 'real' relationships.

They are relationships based in communication, learning about each other by what is said rather than touching each other, that isn't real its a different way to relate to someone else.

In terms of working, well 99% of relationships dont 'work' if working means staying together forever, but if working means being fulfilling and adding to your life then of course they can.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

Post #: 35

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/8/2010 6:15:40 AM

Elizabeth666

Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline

To each their own, but it's not for me

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(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 36

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/9/2010 4:41:22 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

It can and has worked befor. You get what you give out of it. My only realy problem is..How can you tell the sub is really doing what you ask. After all, I'm not really there to check am I. It involves alot of trust..and give and take, even more so that face to face because of that. But it can work...

As you say, a lot of trust. But meatlife relationships require trust, too.

I currently have a cyber slave .. .which is something I thought I would never venture into. Both of us find it fulfilling, while at the same time being frustrated by the fact that we get no physical interaction. But it works more or less.

I had another cyber relationship which didn't go quite so deeply, but we were very close for close to ten years before her work and a meatlife relationship ended it (more due to time conflicts than anything else). We are still friends and she was invited to my wedding.

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_______________________________________________

(in reply to Huntertn)

Post #: 37

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/9/2010 8:42:58 AM

MistressMeltz

Posts: 124
Joined: 7/8/2007
Status: offline

Unfortunately, I have more online subs that real actual subs. I dont prefer it that way but that is the way it is at this current time

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 38

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/13/2010 3:40:55 PM

Rhodes85

Posts: 445
Joined: 11/15/2008
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

"I like to be tied up, used and abused. Looking for someone for online only for now. "

If he wants that I suggest Microsoft tech support

Online can be a good way to initially meet someone (after all why are we here if it isn't.....?) but as an actual 'relationship' No. If it isn't in-person within a reasonable amount of time it is not going to work.

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(in reply to MistressMeltz)

Post #: 39

RE: How do you feel about online relationships? - 1/13/2010 3:43:43 PM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rhodes85
Online can be a good way to initially meet someone (after all why are we here if it isn't.....?) but as an actual 'relationship' No. If it isn't in-person within a reasonable amount of time it is not going to work.

You are wrong.

I know I should write more, but you stated your personal preferences as fact, and it was wrong.

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 1/13/2010 3:44:10 PM >

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Rhodes85)

Post #: 40

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