RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle..........

RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (Full Version)

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xxblushesxx -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/5/2010 6:40:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 WTF? You are making it sound like women's sexuality is Godzilla and men are Japan. I'm thinking of making this my tagline...lol Oh, and osf, some guys are not only not threatened by a bit of teasing and fun (or a lot of it) some guys are actually turned on by it. Well, that's what they tell me anyway!

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/5/2010 6:50:53 PM)
quote: I'm thinking of making this my tagline...lol Oh, and osf, some guys are not only not threatened by a bit of teasing and fun (or a lot of it) some guys are actually turned on by it. Well, that's what they tell me anyway! playfulness yes but not the conquer me subs if you can types i'm not into power struggles if you say you're something then try to be that

sophiesback -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/5/2010 10:36:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff More of a rug in front of the fire place. Once you go anteater, you never go back! Jeff oooh is that a challenge?[:D]

agirl -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 2:43:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf quote: I'm thinking of making this my tagline...lol Oh, and osf, some guys are not only not threatened by a bit of teasing and fun (or a lot of it) some guys are actually turned on by it. Well, that's what they tell me anyway! playfulness yes but not the conquer me subs if you can types i'm not into power struggles if you say you're something then try to be that If you choose a relationship where you are not in authority, then yes, it seems a bit daft to challenge that authority. Speaking personally, if I challenged his authority then I'd actually be saying that I don't recognise it. If I don't accept his authority, there'd be no conquering.......he'd simply say Fine, if it's not what you want. agirl

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 6:01:28 AM)
quote: Some Dominants like subs like that & I have no clue why. i have no clue why either , hence the thread question

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 6:06:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 WTF? You are making it sound like women's sexuality is Godzilla and men are Japan. in some cases, not far off i have a question the women here seem to think they know better than some men how women respond sexually to men, when what they only really know is how one woman responds sexually to men

nephandi -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 6:52:37 AM)
Greetings quote: Well, I kind of like it when a girl is just a LITTLE bratty or disobediant. Something small, simple, and easily rectified - like "forgetting" to put the salt on the table. I like to punish MOST for disobediance like that. It's best to have an unspoken understanding - so I get to punish and she gets to GET punished - it's another form of communication. I am in no way trying to criticize your way of doing things. But I am wondering, why do you not just spank your girl, if you both enjoy it, why not just play, why call it punishment when it clearly is not? I wish you well

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 6:58:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Greetings quote: Well, I kind of like it when a girl is just a LITTLE bratty or disobediant. Something small, simple, and easily rectified - like "forgetting" to put the salt on the table. I like to punish MOST for disobediance like that. It's best to have an unspoken understanding - so I get to punish and she gets to GET punished - it's another form of communication. I am in no way trying to criticize your way of doing things. But I am wondering, why do you not just spank your girl, if you both enjoy it, why not just play, why call it punishment when it clearly is not? I wish you well play is play, and punishment to me isn't play it denotes there's been a breakdown and to me that is too serious to play with

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 7:16:07 AM)
ok, i'm throwing some more red meat to the subbies Submissive adaptation. I have found that some submissives have this ability to adjust their intelligence to a certain degree to whatever man they may be interested in at the time. If he is not quite as smart as she is she can dumb down a bit to enable the fantasy that she has a wise and knowing dom. I’m not disparaging this, it is after all part of the package that makes them a submissive. She wants this so energetically that when going to him for advice or explanation that if he can come anywhere near the proper response, she immediately will think it’s gods honest truth and adapt it on the spot. When she has questions regarding her own motivations and if he is observant enough and can come up with a plausible explanation, she will enfold it into herself and it becomes the truth. So in effect he is explaining and molding all at once. One may wonder if it’s wise for me to put this out there, won’t it hinder me in my search? Not at all remember I said this is instinctive, they can’t act any other way and besides some of the dears may think this is oh so wise of me. Remember the hand is smarter than the ass. Well that has been my observation from my past, milage may vary. which could be a topic for a new thread

Mercnbeth -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 7:18:53 AM)
quote: ...i have a question the women here seem to think they know better than some men how women respond sexually to men, when what they only really know is how one woman responds sexually to men... please don't include this slave in "the women here" who "seem to think they know better"...this slave has compared notes with a few other females in her 35 years of participation in sexual activities...and so far, *none* share this slave's experience. some women and some men think that stimulus and sexual response is universal. some even seem to think that submission and dominance is also a universally perceived and experienced thing. it's been this slave's experience that neither is true. this slave has noticed it around here, though. the ones that post questions and responses using weak generalizations, or use "we" instead of speaking only about themselves with regards to sexual stimulus and response or their perceptions and experiences with submission or dominance...as if "we" aren't all unique individuals...just carbon copies of the "male", "female", "submissive" or "dominant" standardized blueprint.

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 7:20:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ...i have a question the women here seem to think they know better than some men how women respond sexually to men, when what they only really know is how one woman responds sexually to men... please don't include this slave in "the women here" who "seem to think they know better"...this slave has compared notes with a few other females in her 35 years of participation in sexual activities...and so far, *none* share this slave's experience. some women and some men think that stimulus and sexual response is universal. some even seem to think that submission and dominance is also a universally perceived and experienced thing. it's been this slave's experience that neither is true. this slave has noticed it around here, though. the ones that post questions and responses using weak generalizations, or use "we" instead of speaking only about themselves with regards to sexual stimulus and response or their perceptions and experiences with submission or dominance...as if "we" aren't all unique individuals...just carbon copies of the "male", "female", "submissive" or "dominant" standardized blueprint. you're right, it was too inclusive and no universality really when one speaks it's only really possible to speak from one's own knowledge and experience

nephandi -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 7:34:44 AM)
Greetings quote: play is play, and punishment to me isn't play it denotes there's been a breakdown and to me that is too serious to play with I agree which is why I wondered why the gentleman I was responding to wanted his sub to make small mistakes like not putting the salt on the table so he would have reason to punish her. Far be it for me to dictate how pepole should live their lives, but mixing play and punishment just becomes wrong for me. I do seam however that many Dom's would prefer the excuse of "punishment" over just saying I want to cause pain on my sub because I like it. And I am wondering why that is. I wish you well

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 7:36:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Greetings quote: play is play, and punishment to me isn't play it denotes there's been a breakdown and to me that is too serious to play with I agree which is why I wondered why the gentleman I was responding to wanted his sub to make small mistakes like not putting the salt on the table so he would have reason to punish her. Far be it for me to dictate how pepole should live their lives, but mixing play and punishment just becomes wrong for me. I do seam however that many Dom's would prefer the excuse of "punishment" over just saying I want to cause pain on my sub because I like it. And I am wondering why that is. I wish you well maybe in their own mind they need an excuse to hit, if that's case it seems like lack of confidence

nephandi -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 7:52:02 AM)
Greetings quote: maybe in their own mind they need an excuse to hit, if that's case it seems like lack of confidence. That could be. I do not feel qualified to speculate on what others are thinking about this. All I can say that if I had a Dom who did mix play and punishment, that would be damaging to me. I wish you well

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 7:55:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Greetings quote: maybe in their own mind they need an excuse to hit, if that's case it seems like lack of confidence. That could be. I do not feel qualified to speculate on what others are thinking about this. All I can say that if I had a Dom who did mix play and punishment, that would be damaging to me. I wish you well not to say confusing

nephandi -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 8:05:22 AM)
Greetings Jupp confusing indeed. To me punishment is correction meant to do away with undesirable behavior, it should not be fun or pleasant. Play well that is just for pleasure, fun or for Spiritual reasons. The two do not do well mixed as they are for completely opposite goals. I wish you well

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 8:10:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Greetings Jupp confusing indeed. To me punishment is correction meant to do away with undesirable behavior, it should not be fun or pleasant. Play well that is just for pleasure, fun or for Spiritual reasons. The two do not do well mixed as they are for completely opposite goals. I wish you well i differentiate between punishment and correction too correction is when you do something not as directed not because you're being willful, but maybe you didn't understand and think you're doing it correctly, correction is "not that way do it this way" end of correction punishment is reserved for something willfully done contrary to instructions or refusal to carry out a request, things like that

sexyred1 -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 11:06:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf ok, i'm throwing some more red meat to the subbies Ok, osf, I am feeling magnanimous today, so I will bite. Submissive adaptation. I have found that some submissives have this ability to adjust their intelligence to a certain degree to whatever man they may be interested in at the time. If he is not quite as smart as she is she can dumb down a bit to enable the fantasy that she has a wise and knowing dom. Some perhaps, but I would never, have never, could never, dumb it down. Why would I or anyone else obscure their true self? That would be called denying reality which always comes back to haunt you since you could not maintain such a delusion. Why would someone need to fantasize about a wise and knowing Dom and settle for less than that, instead of waiting to find a real one? I’m not disparaging this, it is after all part of the package that makes them a submissive. Considering that every submissive comes in a different package, there is no part of a package to consider, unless you speak of a particular sub that you know does this. P.S. all your questions regarding subs seem disparaging, intent or not. She wants this so energetically that when going to him for advice or explanation that if he can come anywhere near the proper response, she immediately will think it’s gods honest truth and adapt it on the spot. Wants what so energetically? To be a sub? To be with that specific Dom? If she is in fact, dumbing herself down, then wouldn't she know that HIS advice or explanation is not what she is seeking? And what is the proper response? The one she wants and is trying to extract from less intelligent Dom? When she has questions regarding her own motivations (but you just said her motivation was to consciously dumb herself down, so she already knows her motivation) and if he is observant enough and can come up with a plausible explanation, (based on a lie she perpetuated by acting dumber than she is) she will enfold it into herself and it becomes the truth. (the truth based on a lie you mean) So in effect he is explaining and molding all at once.(no, he just thinks he is, but she has manipulated it to be so by being less than her true self) One may wonder if it’s wise for me to put this out there, won’t it hinder me in my search? (no, your search is hindered by much more than this topic.) Not at all remember I said this is instinctive, (no, it is not, it would be a conscious decision) they can’t act any other way and besides some of the dears (condescending, much?) may think this is oh so wise of me. (no chance of that happening). Remember the hand is smarter than the ass.(I tend to think with my brain, not body parts). Well that has been my observation from my past, milage may vary. which could be a topic for a new thread (no need) Are we having fun yet?

kushiels -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 11:49:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Greetings quote: play is play, and punishment to me isn't play it denotes there's been a breakdown and to me that is too serious to play with I agree which is why I wondered why the gentleman I was responding to wanted his sub to make small mistakes like not putting the salt on the table so he would have reason to punish her. Far be it for me to dictate how pepole should live their lives, but mixing play and punishment just becomes wrong for me. I do seam however that many Dom's would prefer the excuse of "punishment" over just saying I want to cause pain on my sub because I like it. And I am wondering why that is. I wish you well Some subs like that. Some subs like to have standards that are literally impossible so they can be punished for not meeting them. For some ppl, this is what makes them feel like they are truly being controlled/dominated/required to submit--the punishment that comes when they mess up. For me, it's not quite that way, but if I was NEVER punished, I would miss something. In a way, punishment is my kink (or one of them) and it's not damaging to me at all to have it mixed with play. Now, if my partner feels I have put myself in danger, or something along those lines, there will be a very serious punishment that won't have any playfulness to it. But for the most part, it's all fairly laid back to us, and we aren't overly fussed with making a lot of clear boundaries shrugs that's just how it works well for us. OSF--some dominants like to "conquer" their subs. They LIKE the resistance to their authority, so they get to exercise it more. You seem a bit dismissive of that, but that is what some ppl enjoy. And some subs LIKE to resist authority and have it forced upon them--that is what's enjoyable to them. If you don't like doing that, don't partner with those women. I mean, I guess I don't see the point of the thread, exactly. Why do some subs (male or female) act that way? Because they like it. And because some Doms like it too.

osf -> RE: why do some women feel that being hard to handle.......... (1/6/2010 12:06:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: osf ok, i'm throwing some more red meat to the subbies Ok, osf, I am feeling magnanimous today, so I will bite. Submissive adaptation. I have found that some submissives have this ability to adjust their intelligence to a certain degree to whatever man they may be interested in at the time. If he is not quite as smart as she is she can dumb down a bit to enable the fantasy that she has a wise and knowing dom. Some perhaps, but I would never, have never, could never, dumb it down. Why would I or anyone else obscure their true self? That would be called denying reality which always comes back to haunt you since you could not maintain such a delusion. Why would someone need to fantasize about a wise and knowing Dom and settle for less than that, instead of waiting to find a real one? I’m not disparaging this, it is after all part of the package that makes them a submissive. Considering that every submissive comes in a different package, there is no part of a package to consider, unless you speak of a particular sub that you know does this. P.S. all your questions regarding subs seem disparaging, intent or not. She wants this so energetically that when going to him for advice or explanation that if he can come anywhere near the proper response, she immediately will think it’s gods honest truth and adapt it on the spot. Wants what so energetically? To be a sub? To be with that specific Dom? If she is in fact, dumbing herself down, then wouldn't she know that HIS advice or explanation is not what she is seeking? And what is the proper response? The one she wants and is trying to extract from less intelligent Dom? When she has questions regarding her own motivations (but you just said her motivation was to consciously dumb herself down, so she already knows her motivation) and if he is observant enough and can come up with a plausible explanation, (based on a lie she perpetuated by acting dumber than she is) she will enfold it into herself and it becomes the truth. (the truth based on a lie you mean) So in effect he is explaining and molding all at once.(no, he just thinks he is, but she has manipulated it to be so by being less than her true self) One may wonder if it’s wise for me to put this out there, won’t it hinder me in my search? (no, your search is hindered by much more than this topic.) Not at all remember I said this is instinctive, (no, it is not, it would be a conscious decision) they can’t act any other way and besides some of the dears (condescending, much?) may think this is oh so wise of me. (no chance of that happening). Remember the hand is smarter than the ass.(I tend to think with my brain, not body parts). Well that has been my observation from my past, milage may vary. which could be a topic for a new thread (no need) Are we having fun yet? red i don't mean to a 70 iq but some do seem to elevate his intelligence in their minds red just because you don't like me, which i'll assume is the case, doesn't mean you have to get silly with everything i say

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