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What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 1:03:30 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Last night I came to an understanding that I was holding my litle one back in a couple of areas.  I worked on the road for many years living in motels and fending for myself so often I will just start doing without even thinking about it. 

We were sitting in the computer room last night watching TV and doping some things on the computer and I asked her to go run a bath for me.  Her eyes just lite up and a big smile burst out , I hear yes sir and off she zipped.  I just watched her while we were doing this and it dawned on me how happy she was and how much she had been longing for me to just let go. 

We talked after about the times we've been laying in bed watchingTv and I just pop up and go get something or worse yet bring something back for her leaving her wondering  why I just simply do not let her do these things. 

So now I'm paying more attention to just relaxing and letting her serve completely.  The question is what did you finally have to give up or adjust?

K
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 1:10:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Actually resting when they tell me to rest.

My partner a few weeks ago said that "You're the only person I know who would say that you're really tired and have a bad headache, but doing fine really."  I need to listen to them when they tell me to slow down and give myself a break, trust that they have my best interests at heart and that I suck at knowing when I've hit my breaking point.

I've also learned that EVERY dom has some weird control quirk about themselves- just some irrational chunk of their personality/needs that you just have to accept and deal with. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 1:10:55 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I've been an independent person since I was little. I can relate to how you feel...sometimes, its easier to get something yourself rather than explain how to do it. The challenge is:We have to learn to be served just as much as they have to learn to serve, in many, many cases. This doesn't mean that we give up being self-sufficient...it means we accept what our s/s has to offer.

Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 1:11:35 PM   
BrianSenior


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I have been caring for My 2 kids for a while as a single parent, since My wife is living in NC going to shcool. I had to adjust to being the only parent here, and in doing so keeping the house up, cooking dinner, shopping all of the goodies that go  along with it. Now when she is here I have to adjust back to being served, so it has been adjusting twice. It is a pleasure as you said to see her happily doing for Me, I am glad when she comes back home!

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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 2:46:57 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Actually resting when they tell me to rest.

My partner a few weeks ago said that "You're the only person I know who would say that you're really tired and have a bad headache, but doing fine really." I need to listen to them when they tell me to slow down and give myself a break, trust that they have my best interests at heart and that I suck at knowing when I've hit my breaking point.

I've also learned that EVERY dom has some weird control quirk about themselves- just some irrational chunk of their personality/needs that you just have to accept and deal with.


I'm learning that right now - I broke my toe a few days ago and have been really chafing at the bit because I have to rest and let Master look after me for a change

I also have to tell Him when I'm not feeling 100% at times. Being His carer, and knowing He suffers pain and ill health 24/7, I haven't liked to bother Him with my little troubles, but He insists that I let Him know these things. My ex husband had no patience with illness so I learned to soldier on even when I was feeling completely ratshit Having someone now who actually cares about me is something I'm still getting used to!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 3:01:31 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Ordering--I tell the boy that's his job, order for Me and then I do it Myself! I even mentioned to him when we were in Vegas that I needed to get that one right---LOL--but I did have great fun--I sent him souvenier shopping for Me--- I was in a trade show all day and could not get out, so I told him what I was looking for (kind of vague) and sent him off--he made Me so proud---he got exactly what I would have--(it touched Me that he does know Me so well so quickly)---I got it done, he had fun and he served Me by doing it---and yes PlayfulOne---having done for so long, I have to concentrate at times to really let go of things!

Thanks for the post---oh and btw, I hope My student sees this and prints it out for her Dom who hasn't quite learned to let go of some things---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 5:56:56 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne
The question is what did you finally have to give up or adjust?


To question "why".  This was something that he and I actually discussed before I became his.  I really enjoy understanding the why of things, but it is not a question that he enjoys hearing in certain contexts.  I can question who, what, when, where and how but not why when given instructions.  When discussing thoughts, opinions and feelings, I can ask permission to know why and it is usually explained.  I find the more I learn about him and his preferences the less I have the desire to ask why about anything at all. 

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 6:09:24 PM   
Mistresscarmen1


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think it is interesting that you choose to comment  "every dom has some wierd control quirk" as if you have the mind to understand someone Superior to you. I will put it down to a bad choice of words or who knows what you were thinking or not thinking? May your dom deal with you accordingly !!  "C"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 6:18:06 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistresscarmen1

I think it is interesting that you choose to comment  "every dom has some wierd control quirk" as if you have the mind to understand someone Superior to you. I will put it down to a bad choice of words or who knows what you were thinking or not thinking? May your dom deal with you accordingly !!  "C"


That is a joke, isn't it?
 
Level

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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 6:21:20 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		MH,
Even when I was in a relationship I spent a lot of time working on the road, so I was still fending for myself so at times I really have to stop, take a breath, and hand it over to her.  She spent several evenings thinking, " Hello, perfectly good sub here why aren't you letting me do that?"  .  I asked why she didn't mention any of this to me and she responded I didn't want to seem pushy or like I was trying to top you form the bottom.

I keep telling her I am independent and strong willed but  she makes the mistake of referring to it as hard headed and stubborn, lol.

K

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 7:04:56 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I've been an independent person since I was little. I can relate to how you feel...sometimes, its easier to get something yourself rather than explain how to do it. The challenge is:We have to learn to be served just as much as they have to learn to serve, in many, many cases. This doesn't mean that we give up being self-sufficient...it means we accept what our s/s has to offer.

Fire


I too am a fiercely independent person and I know exactly what you mean. I am having  a really hard time learning to give my sub things to do and allowing him to do things for me. It was just so instilled in me as a child to depend on no one but yourself that its a struggle. I do have him opening doors for me, sliding in my chair in a restaurant, warming up the car, running errands for me etc..so Im working on it.

~Lashra

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 7:10:54 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		Letting go! Letting go? ----- It's a double edged sword for B/both sides i think. i have to let go of trying to get Him to let go. Ha Ha It's true though. i tell myself "it's called submission - that means - let go, surrender, submit to His desires and wishes".  One of these days, i really hope i get this. Still practicing.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 8:00:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistresscarmen1

I think it is interesting that you choose to comment  "every dom has some wierd control quirk" as if you have the mind to understand someone Superior to you. I will put it down to a bad choice of words or who knows what you were thinking or not thinking? May your dom deal with you accordingly !!  "C"


That is a joke, isn't it?
 
Level

That's the only thing I can see it being.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What did you let go of? - 3/21/2006 8:42:55 PM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		Ha ha, it was her first Post so I hope she was being funny.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What did you let go of? - 3/22/2006 8:48:42 AM   
starymists


Posts: 139
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		Mmm...how high can we count? For me, it comes down to letting go of submission and stepping fully into surrender. I'm far too used to letting go only to ~there~. Some of my boundaries were set more on comfort levels than anything else. So as we have evloved, I have found myself struggling in just letting go with the bigger things. Like sharing my daughter *umm...clarification...decisions pertaining to my daughter*. Choosing a church. Deciding on if I will seek a new job or not. Things that will have a long term impact. It's been a difficult transition, but one that is proving to be more than worthwhile ;)

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What did you let go of? - 3/22/2006 9:11:25 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Well, i let go of hiding myself.  i finally opened up and let some one in.  Sounds retarded i'm sure, but it is nice.  Still smile fiiercly and assure i'm "okay" when i'm crying though.  heh.  Took along time for him to see past the smile.  Its nice to let some one hug ya when you cry. 

Have yet to let go of the rebellion.  Been 12 years since i stuck up my middle finger to the parents, the gov and everyone else in authority cos i felt they were doing such a poor job of it.  Interesting thought at 14 that everyone that is "driving the car" of your life was doing a crappy job so you were going to start driving.  Even knowing i havent done a great job, it is still difficult to come to the conclusion that some one else will steer right.  So i have yet to be able to sit back, relax and not check the map, so to speak, repeatedly.  (and if i think you took the wrong turn, or steering off the road or not going in the right direction.. be sure you'll hear about it) heh.  One of these days i'll actually sit in the passenger seat with my eyes closed knowing everything is as it should be.

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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/22/2006 9:39:06 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I think somebody let all the nutters out on day pass today

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistresscarmen1

I think it is interesting that you choose to comment  "every dom has some wierd control quirk" as if you have the mind to understand someone Superior to you. I will put it down to a bad choice of words or who knows what you were thinking or not thinking? May your dom deal with you accordingly !!  "C"


That is a joke, isn't it?
 
Level

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What did you let go of? - 3/22/2006 9:46:15 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

I think somebody let all the nutters out on day pass today


No worries, day passes end at 5 and we all have to be back in our rooms

heh

(in reply to MsIncognito)
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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/22/2006 10:08:22 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

Last night I came to an understanding that I was holding my litle one back in a couple of areas. I worked on the road for many years living in motels and fending for myself so often I will just start doing without even thinking about it.

We were sitting in the computer room last night watching TV and doping some things on the computer and I asked her to go run a bath for me. Her eyes just lite up and a big smile burst out , I hear yes sir and off she zipped. I just watched her while we were doing this and it dawned on me how happy she was and how much she had been longing for me to just let go.

We talked after about the times we've been laying in bed watchingTv and I just pop up and go get something or worse yet bring something back for her leaving her wondering why I just simply do not let her do these things.

So now I'm paying more attention to just relaxing and letting her serve completely. The question is what did you finally have to give up or adjust?

K


I can completely relate to your story.

I have the hardest time letting Fox (or others) serve me because I learned to take care of myself and others while I was growing up.

I'm still not comfortable with being taken care of when I'm sick (as I am now, welcome sinus infection, blah) though ordering someone to do something for me is fun. When I think of it again -- usually I just do it myself. This is part of the reason why my training of Fox included doing some standard things and he'll jump on them before I can do it myself.

The biggest area I've let go of is my kitchen and food prep. I know how to cook, I trust myself to cook, and I do it darned well I believe. Plus I'm an incredibly picky eater! Even two years ago Fox could only help me in the kitchen or do simple things like make a sandwich for me BECAUSE I didn't let him do more.

Now he cooks entire dinners for us including Thanksgiving (I did the veggies though cause he was overwhelmed and I felt bored). He does it well too! But I am still one of the world's pickiest eaters.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: What did you let go of? - 3/22/2006 10:31:02 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I guess this is something I’d have to look at when and if I collar another girl. My nature is, when making a coffee to see who else wants one or anything else from the kitchen. I would be aware of the other duties a slave would and should be doing and I’d be damned if I’d break her routine to make me a cuppa tea or coffee. Having said that I love having a girl serve me coffee and watching her service so it would be a matter of commonsense and priorities. Many times Neets tries to get my coffee to save my pain, but I need to get up and move about

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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