RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients?

RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/11/2010 6:01:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Most female doms are not in search of dollars either. I suggest to you that if the SOURCE of the revenue went away, so would the women who are trying to make the money in that fashion. I completely agree. Have no use for the weak fucks that frequent them either.

MMercurial -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/11/2010 6:01:39 PM)
This is a hoot! Many of the subbies I deal with, so loathe their own kink they have to pay, because their alter ego doesn't allow a kink related relationship. They can't handle them. They can only handle a very short, specific commitment - and sometimes, not even that. Very absorbed in their kink. They crave it, but they hate it. So, carnival ride or real domme? These boys only want a carnival ride. Which I have discovered takes a bit of insight and skill. And unless I get something out of it, why would I spend the time to learn it? Keep it fresh? I mean, really, it's time consuming. Bottom line: everyone seems to assume there is some pure bdsm doctrine. But the fact is, many of these lads arrive at their kink through horrible fate, and there is no pretty answer. Only an answer that works for them. And all I can say is, get a deposit, because if their mood changes, they almost certainly will NOT show up, and the domme is all dressed up, and no one to do! P.S. And as for these guys being "weak fucks": some of them have survived abuse as children that I couldn't endure now as an adult. Calling them "weak" is a misuse of the word. They have my unadulterated admiration.

FosterDomme -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/12/2010 4:57:54 AM)
As mentioned, the laws vary from state to state. I can only speak for my own state (Oklahoma); but, I've had some sucess by doing my best to both screen the guys who visit and document consent as thoroughly as possible. It also comes in handy that I not only keep sex out of it; but, I also document that fact rather well. I use a really extensive questionaire for EVERYONE who visits, regardless of whether he's seeking a long-term service position, spending his vacation out here helping out and getting tied up/getting his ass toasted, or visiting for just a few hours for a pro-session. There are numerous "trap-doors" in that questionaire; and, it's my choice to decline to see someone for any reason; or, "no reason," just a "a bad feeling on the back of my neck..." Okla. is what's known as a "single party consent state," which means I can (and often DO) tape phone conversations; again, to document consent and to document that there will NOT be ANY "sexual services" provided. It also recognizes consent as a defense to frivolent or malicious allegations. There's about as much diversity on these boards as there are people. I've noticed that SOME male "bottoms" are actually closer to "dominant masochists" who are really looking for "submissive sadists." These are the type who are the most likely to seek out "hookers with whips" rather than a pro-Domme; and, to confuse the two. LOL; then, they get frustrated when they run into someone other than what they were looking for. Some, get all torqued about having to pay for a session; but, act offended if they're offered the option of even doing some housework or minor home repairs, instead. That's "beneath them;" or, "they don't have time..." Hmmmm..... I'm supposed to make a rather heavy investment in toys, play space, etc.; then, clear my schedule, just for "the honor" of tying them up and using their skin as a canvas??? I really enjoy playing; but, on any given day, I've also got about 10 different things jockeying for position on the priority list. If a guy just wants to come out here for what he wants and has no concern for my needs, he's going to contribute to those needs, in some way or another; or, I'm not going to take time away from dealing with things myself. I'm not on this planet to "serve" ANY guy, even if it's by doing something I enjoy. Does this make me a "user"? Noooooo.... I fully believe that BDSM is a symbiotic dance, with both people putting something in and both getting something back in return. It's my way of protecting myself against "users." My attitude is: "The more it's 'about me' to him, the more it's 'about him' to me. The more it's 'about him' to him, the more it's 'about me' to me..." I feel it's also important to point out that not all of the guys why prefer to contribute financially over other forms of service are users. Actually, the users are a VERY small number are; and, I'm USUALLY pretty good at screening out the users. Some might simply not have the time, abilities, or skills; but, really WANT to help out. The bottom line is that no one has any obligation to be compatable with everyone; and, there's room for everyone. Both sides of the slash need to screen pretty thoroughly; or, the results can be pretty disasterous. Do whatever's legal where you are to protect yourself.

OttersSwim -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/12/2010 7:01:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MMercurial This is a hoot! Many of the subbies I deal with, so loathe their own kink they have to pay, because their alter ego doesn't allow a kink related relationship. They can't handle them. They can only handle a very short, specific commitment - and sometimes, not even that. Very absorbed in their kink. They crave it, but they hate it. So, carnival ride or real domme? These boys only want a carnival ride. Which I have discovered takes a bit of insight and skill. And unless I get something out of it, why would I spend the time to learn it? Keep it fresh? I mean, really, it's time consuming. Bottom line: everyone seems to assume there is some pure bdsm doctrine. But the fact is, many of these lads arrive at their kink through horrible fate, and there is no pretty answer. Only an answer that works for them. And all I can say is, get a deposit, because if their mood changes, they almost certainly will NOT show up, and the domme is all dressed up, and no one to do! P.S. And as for these guys being "weak fucks": some of them have survived abuse as children that I couldn't endure now as an adult. Calling them "weak" is a misuse of the word. They have my unadulterated admiration. Insightful. [:)]

SimplyIsaac -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/12/2010 8:44:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy No, you obviously can't read. And you obviously can't write. Outside of saying "waive" money around (which changed the context of what you wrote entirely), it wasn't entirely clear who you were speaking about in post 46. quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I mentioned the dommetutes. Just the dommetutes. I'm glad you cleared that up, but it's still obvious you're an asshole. You claim disgust and pity and all that crap, but it sounds more like resentment to me.

domiguy -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/12/2010 12:46:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy No, you obviously can't read. And you obviously can't write. Outside of saying "waive" money around (which changed the context of what you wrote entirely), it wasn't entirely clear who you were speaking about in post 46. quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I mentioned the dommetutes. Just the dommetutes. I'm glad you cleared that up, but it's still obvious you're an asshole. You claim disgust and pity and all that crap, but it sounds more like resentment to me. I shouldn't have had to clear it up if you had the intelligence to follow along...Unfortunately common sense and smarts are not exactly in abundance out on this here thang. I don't dig people who work in the sex trades. There also seems to be a plethora of dommes that seem to be sincerely unhappy. Maybe the overall bitchiness and their tone can be attributed to try and induce guys like you to get hard and respond. Either way, there are far too many dommes that are in this for the dollars and not the desire to really take the lot of them seriously. So sunshine. Before you come out here to defend the dommes in the bulk...And trust me there is a shit load of bulk when it comes to those lil' dommes.. Do yourself a favor and try and grow a pair. Word.

SimplyIsaac -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/12/2010 2:11:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Unfortunately common sense and smarts are not exactly in abundance out on this here thang. And your pathological hatred of all things pro is seated in common sense? Right. quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I don't dig people who work in the sex trades. So? I don't dig basketball or poll vaulting. Doesn't mean I'm going to go on a hate crusade about athletes using their natural gifts to turn a buck. quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy There also seems to be a plethora of dommes that seem to be sincerely unhappy. Maybe the overall bitchiness and their tone can be attributed to try and induce guys like you to get hard and respond. What the fuck does that have to do about anything? quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Either way, there are far too many dommes that are in this for the dollars and not the desire to really take the lot of them seriously. I think you meant to write "and not the desire to be taken seriously". It's hard to know what you're saying at times because your writing isn't very coherent. But never mind that. I'll deal. Onto this being taken seriously thing. Sidestepping the fact that "serious" is a pretty subjective term, anyone who has been around knows there are pros who who have clients and personal slaves, all at the same time. In fact, their immersion into the lifestyle professionally and personally often seems pretty serious to me—unless of course you have another definition for "serious" you're using. quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Word. It's obvious you think you're funny, and that you can use slapstick as a method of getting away with writing some pretty ignorant and mean-spirited shit. Strip away the facade of humor and there's not much substance to your intellectual contribution. That, in this thread, is painfully obvious.

heartcream -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/13/2010 5:13:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Your kink is not mine. It is just the lowest form of employment. It is the common denominator of the weak. Those seeking a payout without the desire or ability to use anything more than what genetics enabled or what some douchebag will cough up. This might not be the most popular opinion out here. I just dig folks that want more out of life and have the ability to achieve it without toiling in the sex trades. To each their own. At times I will come across a man who shows an interest in me and I strongly sense it is a temporary thing, it is not like he wants to know me, he wants to use me, conquer me for sex. He can be quite nice about it but all the signs are there that it is about sex and nothing more. I am certain I would get a nice bit of wining and dining out of the deal. But really, whoopdeedo. Times like these honestly it feels like being very poorly paid for my body. Kinda like that is what the douchebag will cough up, a dinner, maybe even a plane ticket to fuck me and move on to the next after dinner meal. In these cases, which I am not interested in, I feel like telling him I will charging bigger bucks than a meal and some alcohol. It seems like the same thing as being in the sex trade. "I want to fuck you and that is about it, so, here is your yummy dinner and some drinks to get you slidey, now fork over your holes to me." I am not going down the road of being paid to blow a man but then again I am not going to put my body into the hands of a man whose agenda is basically to use me either. Really cheap payout in my mind.

playboy22 -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/13/2010 8:22:32 AM)
quote: At times I will come across a man who shows an interest in me and I strongly sense it is a temporary thing, it is not like he wants to know me, he wants to use me, conquer me for sex. He can be quite nice about it but all the signs are there that it is about sex and nothing more. I am certain I would get a nice bit of wining and dining out of the deal. But really, whoopdeedo. Times like these honestly it feels like being very poorly paid for my body. Kinda like that is what the douchebag will cough up, a dinner, maybe even a plane ticket to fuck me and move on to the next after dinner meal. In these cases, which I am not interested in, I feel like telling him I will charging bigger bucks than a meal and some alcohol. It seems like the same thing as being in the sex trade. "I want to fuck you and that is about it, so, here is your yummy dinner and some drinks to get you slidey, now fork over your holes to me." I am not going down the road of being paid to blow a man but then again I am not going to put my body into the hands of a man whose agenda is basically to use me either. Really cheap payout in my mind. To quote the late Jim Morrison : Your ballroom days are over, baby Night is drawing near Shadows of the evening crawl across the years Ya walk across the floor with a flower in your hand Trying to tell me no one understands Trade in your hours for a handful dimes Gonna' make it, baby, in our prime

SimplyIsaac -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/13/2010 8:41:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: playboy22 quote: At times I will come across a man who shows an interest in me and I strongly sense it is a temporary thing, it is not like he wants to know me, he wants to use me, conquer me for sex. He can be quite nice about it but all the signs are there that it is about sex and nothing more. I am certain I would get a nice bit of wining and dining out of the deal. But really, whoopdeedo. Times like these honestly it feels like being very poorly paid for my body. Kinda like that is what the douchebag will cough up, a dinner, maybe even a plane ticket to fuck me and move on to the next after dinner meal. In these cases, which I am not interested in, I feel like telling him I will charging bigger bucks than a meal and some alcohol. It seems like the same thing as being in the sex trade. "I want to fuck you and that is about it, so, here is your yummy dinner and some drinks to get you slidey, now fork over your holes to me." I am not going down the road of being paid to blow a man but then again I am not going to put my body into the hands of a man whose agenda is basically to use me either. Really cheap payout in my mind. To quote the late Jim Morrison : Your ballroom days are over, baby Night is drawing near Shadows of the evening crawl across the years Ya walk across the floor with a flower in your hand Trying to tell me no one understands Trade in your hours for a handful dimes Gonna' make it, baby, in our prime Looks like her post hit a few buttons.

Rhodes85 -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/13/2010 4:00:11 PM)
quote: I had a very good friend (female cop) run a background checks on all new clients.... Doesn't mean the person is any safer because its only in their record if they are caught for something. You can be a serial killer that has not been arrested for anything and show up clean. Hell the guy I got my meat from in Vancouver WAS a serial killer. That being said what the cop is doing is actually illegal. If shes gets caught she loses her job, the department gets sued and you could be nailed for being involved in it. Don't base your safety on the results of a background check. quote: Keep proof the cop had a session with you. To avoid future problems to begin with ask upfront if they're a cop. Legally they have to disclose it and cannot lie about it. Cops are NOT required to inform you that they are such unless they are about to arrest you. I am curious what you mean by 'proof of a session' as well, as recording such a thing is illegal without the persons consent. quote: Cool, just wondering. I am not a pro dominant, but I have a lot of respect for sex workers generally. It has to be incredibly difficult work, and I don't see someone CHOOSING it who has many other options. I wouldn't be so sure of that. You would be suprised just how many people choose to be a sex worker for the 'thrill' or for easy money. Its more common than you might think.

Venatrix -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/13/2010 4:50:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rhodes85 Hell the guy I got my meat from in Vancouver WAS a serial killer. His name wasn't Sweeney Todd, was it?

SimplyIsaac -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/14/2010 8:53:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rhodes85 quote: Cool, just wondering. I am not a pro dominant, but I have a lot of respect for sex workers generally. It has to be incredibly difficult work, and I don't see someone CHOOSING it who has many other options. I wouldn't be so sure of that. You would be suprised just how many people choose to be a sex worker for the 'thrill' or for easy money. Its more common than you might think. Yup, especially in the age the internet.

allthatjaz -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/14/2010 10:52:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves Hi. Keep proof the cop had a session with you. To avoid future problems to begin with ask upfront if they're a cop. Legally they have to disclose it and cannot lie about it. Hope that helps. You are joking about this I hope? One of the reasons men use pro Dommes is because they are discreet and not arming themselves with evidence they can use against someone. Your profile states your an assistant for the academy of slaves and you have just blatantly advertised on there behalf that you get proof a client has visited you!!!... unbelievable!!

allthatjaz -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/14/2010 11:58:26 AM)
I don't pro anymore but I'm not ashamed to say I did because It was something I could do well. I earned more than an average lawyers salary and was able to save enough money to set sail and go where ever the wind takes me! Perhaps that was greedy of me! perhaps it was selfish, dirty, disgusting... whatever but I did it because I could. I ran it like any other business, with an eye on investment and margin and a clear idea of how and when I was going to get out. Some people will hate us, usually men, because they just don't get the same opportunity.... Oh well life's a bitch [;)]

SimplyIsaac -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/15/2010 12:37:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz I don't pro anymore but I'm not ashamed to say I did because It was something I could do well. I earned more than an average lawyers salary and was able to save enough money to set sail and go where ever the wind takes me! Perhaps that was greedy of me! perhaps it was selfish, dirty, disgusting... whatever but I did it because I could. I ran it like any other business, with an eye on investment and margin and a clear idea of how and when I was going to get out. Some people will hate us, usually men, because they just don't get the same opportunity.... Oh well life's a bitch [;)] Ooohh, Domiguy...

MistressRouge -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/17/2010 12:47:50 PM)
I agree totally. quote: ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards The easiest way to protect yourself with high risk clients would be to avoid them completely.... If you don't book them you should not find yourself having an issue with them.

AcademyForSlaves -> RE: How do you protect yourself against high risk clients? (1/29/2010 7:51:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz quote: ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves Hi. Keep proof the cop had a session with you. To avoid future problems to begin with ask upfront if they're a cop. Legally they have to disclose it and cannot lie about it. Hope that helps. You are joking about this I hope? One of the reasons men use pro Dommes is because they are discreet and not arming themselves with evidence they can use against someone. Your profile states your an assistant for the academy of slaves and you have just blatantly advertised on there behalf that you get proof a client has visited you!!!... unbelievable!! What professional doesn't have some form of proof of having had a session or meeting with a client or customer? I didn't say it was a video recording. I meant a paper record, email, or phone bill or calls. And I didn't say we ourselves have those, keep them, or use them. I only suggested to the poster who asked the question that they might want to keep such legal documentation (paper, notes, email, etc) just in case it's needed by their lawyer. Not to use it against anyone, but for their own protection. Try not thinking the worst about people. Have a nice day.

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