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PenelopePitstop -> RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health (3/25/2006 5:51:58 AM)
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I'm straying from the point a bit here but I've found that since being a bit more open about myself (I've not long been in the scene) a lot of those feelings about my own attractiveness have dissipated. But I do think a lot of it depends on the way one's submission affects one, and the associations we form throughout life. For example, I could never go for the "you are a worthless slut" approach because worthlessness is one of my fears and I want to find someone who treasures me like a favourite possession ("you could never be a worthless slut, my dear, that's why I keep testing you"?). And a treasured possession should look and feel like treasure.
It's not vanity, it's a self issue for me, a pleasing issue. And to feel pleasing one needs to have feedback on one's pleasingness!
To take it a little further sometimes I think we all have a self-esteem battery - a battery that runs down on its own naturally if it isn't topped up (pardon the pun) regularly with affirmations of our worth - either by ourselves or other people eg our chosen partner. Anything from a makeover to being brought into subspace like a rocket all counts. Some people's batteries run down faster than others, that's all. But once you know this, you are in a position of great power to control your own fulfillment. Salon or no.
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