RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health - 3/25/2006 5:51:58 AM

PenelopePitstop

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

I'm straying from the point a bit here but I've found that since being a bit more open about myself (I've not long been in the scene) a lot of those feelings about my own attractiveness have dissipated. But I do think a lot of it depends on the way one's submission affects one, and the associations we form throughout life. For example, I could never go for the "you are a worthless slut" approach because worthlessness is one of my fears and I want to find someone who treasures me like a favourite possession ("you could never be a worthless slut, my dear, that's why I keep testing you"?). And a treasured possession should look and feel like treasure.

It's not vanity, it's a self issue for me, a pleasing issue. And to feel pleasing one needs to have feedback on one's pleasingness!

To take it a little further sometimes I think we all have a self-esteem battery - a battery that runs down on its own naturally if it isn't topped up (pardon the pun) regularly with affirmations of our worth - either by ourselves or other people eg our chosen partner. Anything from a makeover to being brought into subspace like a rocket all counts. Some people's batteries run down faster than others, that's all. But once you know this, you are in a position of great power to control your own fulfillment. Salon or no.

< Message edited by PenelopePitstop -- 3/25/2006 5:57:50 AM >

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to candystripper)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health - 3/25/2006 4:43:34 PM

Sirandlittle1

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop

I'm straying from the point a bit here but I've found that since being a bit more open about myself (I've not long been in the scene) a lot of those feelings about my own attractiveness have dissipated. But I do think a lot of it depends on the way one's submission affects one, and the associations we form throughout life. For example, I could never go for the "you are a worthless slut" approach because worthlessness is one of my fears and I want to find someone who treasures me like a favourite possession ("you could never be a worthless slut, my dear, that's why I keep testing you"?). And a treasured possession should look and feel like treasure.

It's not vanity, it's a self issue for me, a pleasing issue. And to feel pleasing one needs to have feedback on one's pleasingness!

To take it a little further sometimes I think we all have a self-esteem battery - a battery that runs down on its own naturally if it isn't topped up (pardon the pun) regularly with affirmations of our worth - either by ourselves or other people eg our chosen partner. Anything from a makeover to being brought into subspace like a rocket all counts. Some people's batteries run down faster than others, that's all. But once you know this, you are in a position of great power to control your own fulfillment. Salon or no.

I really like the analogy of self esteem batteries. That just makes so much sense. Thankyou PenelopePS

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health - 3/25/2006 11:07:59 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1

I really like the analogy of self esteem batteries. That just makes so much sense. Thankyou PenelopePS

I agree with you and want to thank PPs too, best post I read in this thread. I think it's right on point and that some people well go to all kinds of measures to get that feedback from outside themselves and sometimes it can get to unhealthy.

My Domina preferred me without make-up but would let me enjoy getting girly and made up when it made me feel good.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health - 3/26/2006 7:09:33 PM

Takethiswaltz

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

I would be a very unhappy girl indeed if make-up, skin, nail and salon time wasn't allowed. As well as new clothes, massages and shoes.
Hmm... I don't eat much and I never buy things on credit, so maybe it would even out. OH! and I can do my own sewing and landscaping,
some plumbing, painting and a little electrical work.

I guess it does even out. Yeah, this'll work.....he-he

T.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to brightspot)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Vanity & Good Mental Health - 3/27/2006 6:46:38 AM

ivorylace

Posts: 56
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterStoney442

This and all other things are not up to the sub/slave. This is a life style and when one becomes a sub/slave the rights are those of the Master/Mistress

I will always hold onto some rights thank You.

But all in all I believe women spend way to much time at a pricey salon when most things can be done by themselves at home. I go to a salon every 8 weeks and feel pampered in a wash, cut, and blowdry. Anything more than that I do for myself at home.

Of - course I only answer to myself for now.

~ lace

< Message edited by ivorylace -- 3/27/2006 6:47:31 AM >

(in reply to MasterStoney442)

Profile

Post #: 45