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How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 12:06:17 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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It has been suggested that both male and female dominants share similar issues. What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

Post #: 1

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 1:14:34 AM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

It has been suggested that both male and female dominants share similar issues. What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

Now do you really expect that intellectual property to be given up so easily?

In all seriousness, it's not a recipe easily written out within the scope of a message board. And while I say that, there are very obvious basics that count, if one thinks about it well enough.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 4:26:37 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

I don't see this as a competition but rather a compatibility issue. So the whole point of trying to get them to be with me rather than another is moot.

As for I can do to inspire them to stay with me? Respecting them, trusting them, caring about them would be a good start...

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 6:39:09 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It's not a matter of, "Stay with me because I'm better," it's a matter of, "Be with me because you are led to do so." If they leave for someone else, oh well. It's not a competition about who it better, its a discernment about who is right for their life, even if just for "right now". We do recognize, however, that taking the love interest aspect out of it makes this attitude easier to have. Even then, love isn't supposed to be a competition in Our eyes.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 6:53:22 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

Oh, I don't bother with sophisticated rubbish like that. I just club 'em over the head and drag 'em back to my cave. It's never failed me yet.

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 7:05:25 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Sheeesh
Saying has zip to do with it.
It's not about what I say, it's a touch of what I do, and a whole lot of who I am.

The only time people lie is when their mouths are open. Me, I listen with my eyes.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 8:02:39 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

What MasterFire said.

And Venatrix!

I am dominant all the time, but I am not EVERYONE'S dominant. I inspire trust by being trustworthy. I try to be a good person, a good daughter, a good friend, a good leader... and those who want to follow me, do.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 8:27:55 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

There is something in me that touches something in him that brings about his submissiveness. When asked what this was he said it was my quiet confidence, my ability to lead and to make decisions, my aggressive sexiness and my ability to say exactly what is on my mind. In short he desires to be with me because of who I am and not the label that I wear.

I am sure since we are all individuals that you are going to get many different answers, but this one best fits us.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 8

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 8:32:47 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

It has been suggested that both male and female dominants share similar issues. What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

By being the best ME I can be......if someone does not want to be with me, they are not for me.

I am not going to pretend to be their fantasy image of who they, or anyone else, thinks I should be.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 8:46:25 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

Oh, I don't bother with sophisticated rubbish like that. I just club 'em over the head and drag 'em back to my cave. It's never failed me yet.

Grunts in agreement.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 8:46:43 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Sheeesh
Saying has zip to do with it.
It's not about what I say, it's a touch of what I do, and a whole lot of who I am.

The only time people lie is when their mouths are open. Me, I listen with my eyes.

Saying, using language, is an action in itself. It doesn't replace other actions, and may be less important than "doing", but communicating obviously has more than "zip to do with it".

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 8:51:26 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

It has been suggested that both male and female dominants share similar issues. What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

I tend to agree with several respondents who said that they are more interested in compatibility than competing with other dominants. On the other hand, I believe that such compatibility includes a sub being inspired in some way by the dominant, whether it's something that the dominant says, does, or is. If this inspiration is absent, what we're left with is dominants constantly whining that they just can't seem to find any real subs.

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 12

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 8:55:07 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Not to mention...........competition? Pullllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!

If someone does not want to belong to me, I sure as hell am not going to chase them down to try and convince them they should!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 9:18:25 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I think it would be rather difficult, as well as time consuming, to sit down and attempt to reveal the way that I inspire. Not that I wouldn't enjoy the project at some time. The problem is that I would have to find some way to condense all of the discussions, experiences, feelings, nurturing, and everything else that happens within a dynamic and try to convey that somehow here for you in written words. Even if I could, My theories on doing so wouldn't be universal. Some methods work better for certain individuals rather than others. There's no way to carbon copy it.

I've had experiences in My life where people reacted automatically to Me. They felt submissive energy within themselves when they met Me and felt that they received a type of Dominant energy from Me. That I can't particularly explain. Call it chemistry or whatever terminology works for you. It's something that just happens.

Taking that initial impression, however, and turning it into inspiration on some level, you have to find that compatibility and connection. A history between two people begins at the moment you meet and carries on from there. Each and every time, it is unique because there will always be the element of variation. One will never be like the next and you have to use what works on a case by case basis.

As for competition, like some other folks have mentioned, I don't participate in it. Either a submissive is the right fit for Me, and Me for him, or we aren't. I know that I'm not for everyone and I don't want to try to be. Though I will say, when it works, it's a pretty good thing.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 10:57:34 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't compete with others, I'm simply me.

If "me" works for someone, then cool, perhaps they'll work for me and the other members of my household as well.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 11:38:00 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I feel pretty sure that the 'right' one for me wouldn't have the first clue as to how she inspires me.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 11:49:33 AM

GYPSYMAMBO

Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

OP:
I have been a leader all my life...ppl automatically gravitate for listening..problem solving..guidance and more.
I am deeply grateful for this.
I "take over'..wheather in a cafe..grocery store..party..job or event.
I do this with confidence..warmth and respect.
I live my life DOMINANTLY...

When I search for submissives...we may have commonalities..
and enough outside interests to BUILD a relationship.
The qualities I have may inspire ANY man to wish to be with me..;
they may not.
We may click..we may not.
There are many variables for insipration..
I hope I inspire MANY...not just a submissve man..
IN keynote addresses I seek to inspire..
I wish for people to know they can rise above adversity to
live with purpose.
I wish for ppl to know their own soul essence and realize their gifts and potential.

If this way of being INSPIRES a submissive man who I also wish to be with to want to be with me..then we are off to a good start..

I do know that when I have(sub) "husbands"..they are inspired by a deep bond..of safety...knowledge with confident decision making..respect..love..being cherished for who they are..support in endevours..building of strength areas they have to walk proud being the best HUMAN they can be.
I wish to extract from them all their best qualitites and expand and magnify them for MYSELF and for them

GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 1/8/2010 11:53:24 AM >

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 1:41:36 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

It has been suggested that both male and female dominants share similar issues. What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

Nothing. I am just myself. I'm not interested in "inspiring" a submissive to be with me. It sets up an impossible situation, fraught with unrealistic expectations, in which I'm somehow expected to superhumanly "inspire" a sub to bestow the "gift" of her submission on me. Fuck that noise. Either we're compatible or we're not. If we are, then no inspiration is needed; the person I am all day, every day is enough.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 2:08:19 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

It has been suggested that both male and female dominants share similar issues. What is it that you say or do that will inspire a submissive to wish to be with you as opposed to your fellow dominant?

Nothing. I am just myself. I'm not interested in "inspiring" a submissive to be with me. It sets up an impossible situation, fraught with unrealistic expectations, in which I'm somehow expected to superhumanly "inspire" a sub to bestow the "gift" of her submission on me. Fuck that noise. Either we're compatible or we're not. If we are, then no inspiration is needed; the person I am all day, every day is enough.

Bingo.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you inspire - 1/8/2010 3:12:34 PM

AlexandraLynch

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline

People who have dated me have said that I am a fun personality who is clearly calm, knows what she wants, and intelligently articulates that. I am reasonably attractive and have a few outstanding features that catch peoples' eyes. I'm very passionate about everything I do, and I think that attracts people who enjoy that in their lives. I'm not the dominant for someone who doesn't want their life to go beyond work and who's on American Idol. I am an interesting person, and so I attract interesting people.

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 20

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