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RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/22/2006 6:08:24 PM

SensualSub4Sir

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I'd say that 8 times out of 10, my experience is that most of the "Doms" ive talked with have mislead about one thing or another. For me, it's an issue of basic trust. If i cant trust the person early on, i no longer waste my time with them. No need to try and find out why. I just move on.

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RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/22/2006 6:12:39 PM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SensualSub4Sir

I'd say that 8 times out of 10, my experience is that most of the "Doms" ive talked with have mislead about one thing or another. For me, it's an issue of basic trust. If i cant trust the person early on, i no longer waste my time with them. No need to try and find out why. I just move on.

Thank you SensualSub... about the best way to look at it from my side too.
and welcome to the forums.

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RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/22/2006 8:10:53 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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To truesub....Gotta go with cinful on that one too..I know as most women who have been through this do, that much as our desire to get the answers to our questions as to why ,...why...why..are.Generally even knowing the why leads to more questions,all of which are moot at this point,the trust is broken....Hugs/Tempting

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RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/22/2006 9:23:27 PM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To truesub....Gotta go with cinful on that one too..I know as most women who have been through this do, that much as our desire to get the answers to our questions as to why ,...why...why..are.Generally even knowing the why leads to more questions,all of which are moot at this point,the trust is broken....Hugs/Tempting

yeah she knows I agree too... I was asked to today.. if I found out behind mine... told them.. yep.. but it was on accident... not because of speaking to him.. what I did find out.. led to more questions trust me.. but do I want the answers?... ummmm... No.. not really... to me.. it's done.. it's over.. I for one have my closure... with in myself. surprised the hell out of me too.... LOL

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RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/22/2006 9:42:45 PM

nslut4whtmaster

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i have been mislead before but when it did happen, i learned from the mistake at least i thought i did. At first, W/we went through the whole "I am sorry I' am a liar routine with explanations" before i had to finally just end it. To this day i still receive emails from this individual. However, if someone wants to be deceitful or misleading they are going to do it regardless of how many guards or boundaries that Y/you may put up. The only thing that i do now to deal with the potential of being mislead, it was mentioned by Mercnbeth, "expect nothing and assume the worse". Although it may be a harsh concept to adopt because sometimes Y/you just want to give people a chance but it works because Y/you have no expectations whatsoever.

peace and respect,
ns

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RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/22/2006 9:45:14 PM

truesub4u

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expect nothing.. assume the worse... harsh reality indeed... but hard to accept as well. everyone for the most part.. expects something.... and hell... we all know what assume means.

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Post #: 46

RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/22/2006 10:04:03 PM

nslut4whtmaster

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quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

expect nothing.. assume the worse... harsh reality indeed... but hard to accept as well. everyone for the most part.. expects something.... and hell... we all know what assume means.

Yes, i agree it is a harsh reality but it was what i needed and it allowed me to move on to where i was able to heal and see things objectively without carrying my baggage from the past relationship.
Oh, and i did assume a lot of things too in the beginning and it did make an a** out of me, especially when i still had a couple of my bags that i tried to carry into my new M/s relationship.

peace and respect,
ns

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RE: Misleading Dom/subs - 3/23/2006 9:04:50 AM

LATEXBABY64

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one of the most great lessons i have learned is look at pattern matching how someone acts out side of the bdsm relm past present and future the past is what developes are patters of lhow we interact but never close you heart and never let this lifestyle guide on you on rules of love and bdsm for the first rule there are no rules but being true to each other everything else is a mind set so finding out how that persons mind works is the key always look for the red flags here is an example of them

   1 does not pay child support
   2 had been married more then three times
   3 hides important things from you like health family friends
   4 does not listen to your concerns and goes and watches the game of stay on the pc more then spending time with you
   5 does not share in responsiblites you find your self doing everything billls shopping
   6 places his or her needs above yours all the time
i am sure there are a lot of others but these are some bigs ones that people have split up over
7 and abusive behavior calling names or putting you down or abusing you
remeber there is a proper way all people should act ds or not fallow some simple rules and you will save your self a life time a greif