RE: eating pussy

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xssve -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 4:23:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Perhaps he is not good at it and if he goes down on you, he will suffer embarrassment when you start to laugh at him! Or at the very least when you say "no really it's okay if you don't" and you will mean it. funny thing...he didn't tongue kiss me for a long while...even now he will but not a whole lot. Still he's very good at kissing. I imagine cunnilligus would be the same but I guess I will never know[&o] I understand there are certain pleasures he derives from me that he doesn't get from the other relationships he has. No matter what we maintain a friendship. He is a big hearted man. He is Dominant. This mole hill grew into a mountain but that is not only due to the misleading on his part but the importance of the act to me. I won't speak bad of him. I'm so grateful this place exists. That all of you from all of your walks of life in this detoured avenue came to this thread and put your views and feelings down. I really appreciate it. I cannot tell you how much. Thank you thank you[:)] From this and somebody mentioning the fact that he does this with other women leads me to suspect that he may suspect you are promiscuous - I'm a bit squicky about it myself if I'm with somebody who see's other people - not so much I don't trust her as I may not know them. Hell, I've been known to hit on lesbians simply because I'm pretty sure they'll be disease free. The thought of going down there with somebody who turns out to have an STD might just sour the whole experience for me, I'd rather not go there, just the thought is... inhibiting. Have you tried a dental dam? Thing is, naturally, he might not want to say this, if he thinks it will offend you, which is, in some respects, good news, i.e., he doesn't want to offend you.

breatheasone -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 4:35:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Drifa quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire ...and maybe next time it won't be to a man. There is something hot about the idea of being sub to a female Dom. /laughs It has some things going for it! My personal experience (YMMV) is that girls kiss better anyway -- I think we have less muscles in our tongues or something, resulting in a softer and more sensuous kiss. And this also applies to cunnilingus... some men can be quite good at it, but women can be mind-blowingly good. Good luck! This is going to sound STUPID i know....but, i could more readily picture going down on a woman, than kissing a woman. i have no idea why LOL.

DarkAshleyness -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 4:48:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth I'm wondering, since this is so obviously important to you, did you two discuss this before starting your relationship? I agree, if you have a decision to make, it needs to be made part of the conditions of a relationship, vanilla or not.

DarkAshleyness -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 4:57:25 PM)
I have a serious question though.... How many daddies do you know go down on their little girls?

littlewonder -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:00:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkAshleyness I have a serious question though.... How many daddies do you know go down on their little girls? I was actually wondering the same thing.

breatheasone -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:07:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: DarkAshleyness I have a serious question though.... How many daddies do you know go down on their little girls? I was actually wondering the same thing. i've seen a few posters here that have the Daddy, little girl thing and they are sexual..... There are also some posters in that dynamic that Do not have sex as part of the Daddy, little time..... Different strokes for different folks, Right?

sweetboundesire -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:08:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xssve quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Perhaps he is not good at it and if he goes down on you, he will suffer embarrassment when you start to laugh at him! Or at the very least when you say "no really it's okay if you don't" and you will mean it. funny thing...he didn't tongue kiss me for a long while...even now he will but not a whole lot. Still he's very good at kissing. I imagine cunnilligus would be the same but I guess I will never know[&o] I understand there are certain pleasures he derives from me that he doesn't get from the other relationships he has. No matter what we maintain a friendship. He is a big hearted man. He is Dominant. This mole hill grew into a mountain but that is not only due to the misleading on his part but the importance of the act to me. I won't speak bad of him. I'm so grateful this place exists. That all of you from all of your walks of life in this detoured avenue came to this thread and put your views and feelings down. I really appreciate it. I cannot tell you how much. Thank you thank you[:)] From this and somebody mentioning the fact that he does this with other women leads me to suspect that he may suspect you are promiscuous - I'm a bit squicky about it myself if I'm with somebody who see's other people - not so much I don't trust her as I may not know them. Hell, I've been known to hit on lesbians simply because I'm pretty sure they'll be disease free. The thought of going down there with somebody who turns out to have an STD might just sour the whole experience for me, I'd rather not go there, just the thought is... inhibiting. Have you tried a dental dam? Thing is, naturally, he might not want to say this, if he thinks it will offend you, which is, in some respects, good news, i.e., he doesn't want to offend you. valid question but i don't think that's the issue. the girls i am with are either in monogamous relationships(well with the exception I fuck em too) or they are safe & get checked to ensure it now & then, this includes me. In the beginning, when I asked him to get checked for me, he did, even so, condoms are always used.

sweetboundesire -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:12:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Drifa quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire ...and maybe next time it won't be to a man. There is something hot about the idea of being sub to a female Dom. /laughs It has some things going for it! My personal experience (YMMV) is that girls kiss better anyway -- I think we have less muscles in our tongues or something, resulting in a softer and more sensuous kiss. And this also applies to cunnilingus... some men can be quite good at it, but women can be mind-blowingly good. Good luck! women are the better kissers, agreed! The sexy part of being a sub to a Domina would be the challenge. I don't submit to women. I have a problem with female authority figures but I do love a challenge:)

Pygromanche -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:18:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Drifa quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire ...and maybe next time it won't be to a man. There is something hot about the idea of being sub to a female Dom. /laughs It has some things going for it! My personal experience (YMMV) is that girls kiss better anyway -- I think we have less muscles in our tongues or something, resulting in a softer and more sensuous kiss. And this also applies to cunnilingus... some men can be quite good at it, but women can be mind-blowingly good. Good luck! A thank you....A thank you bows . Women are better at cunnilingus than men because we know what we want....just like men are better at phillatio. And, in my opinion, switches make the best Doms....lol. If you know what they want then you can finely craft your skill ;p

HisBestGirl -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:19:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire thank you so much for your opinions, everyone. yes i am beginning to believe he just doesn't like to do it...and it affects my self esteem! That sucks...doesn't matter if my girlfriends do it...he means so much to me that not doing it hurts, and i love to suck cock and his is awesome....and obviously he gets what he wants but for me, at least from what i understand, a Dominant should know how to please his submissive while still being Dominant. For me, I don't see it as it lowering himself to do this act, more so, it's pleasing me...I've even asked if there is a way i can earn it but at this point i feel mocked for my desire...ugh...so sad today...he told me early on back during our first few months together that if i was "really" good, it would be my greatest reward...now i just feel lied to and i'm pretty sad. I think he just doesn't like it and doesn't care it's important to me...dammit anyway![:-] This has probably already been addressed but what a dick. Sure, there MAY be a plausible reason as to why he's gone back on his word, but dangling this particular carrot in front of you as a way to make you behave is so childishly manipulative. I realise it's unfair of me to pass judgement without knowing the particulars of your relationship or his personality, but this kind of behaviour is, in my opinion, unacceptable on all levels, vanilla, d/s, whatever. So it's not an out-and-out falsehood, but it is misleading and that's the greater issue here, rather than his refusal to engage in this particular act. As others have said, if he didn't want to do it, ever, he shouldn't have promised it as a reward if he had no intention of following through. I've never come across a man, personally or anecdotally, within my acquaintance that is opposed to eating pussy. It may not be their favourite activity but I know far more women who don't suck cock than men who don't perform cunnilingus. Obviously, one can't speculate as to what you should do now, but it seems as though you are already questioning your future with him, and I can't say that I wouldn't do the same, were I in your shoes. On a personal note, my Daddy loves to go down on me, it's a key part of our repertoire, so to speak, but then, our dynamic is not what most would consider 'standard' age-play. I don't regress, or go into a particular headspace, I don't identify with a particular age. I don't act particularly child-like; I suppose I would identify more as a precocious teen eager for Daddy's attention and love.

DarkAshleyness -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:29:13 PM)
Quite honestly, I understand everybody has their own needs but the fact that a sub/slave would terminate a relationship based on the fact that a Dom refuses to do what they want is kind of weird to me. When you go into a relationship, it's perfectly clear that the Dom is the one in control and if you don't like that go adios but then again are you really a slave or a sub? That's why I don't really particularly like subs, because its my way or the highway, if they have requests and would LIKE it if I did something, it's my choice either way.

sweetboundesire -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:38:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HisBestGirl On a personal note, my Daddy loves to go down on me, it's a key part of our repertoire, so to speak, but then, our dynamic is not what most would consider 'standard' age-play. I don't regress, or go into a particular headspace, I don't identify with a particular age. I don't act particularly child-like; I suppose I would identify more as a precocious teen eager for Daddy's attention and love. He's much older than me. 19 yrs. Sexy as hell and in better shape than most men my age. He's wise and manly. He technically could be my Daddy! lol So I'm the same type of little girl you are to yours. I identify the same. I like feeling small. He is much taller than me to, by nearly a foot. I learn a lot from him. I've also reference him as my Teacher. It may sound weird to some to end a D/s over this but honestly if i would have known from the start I would have most likely not chosen him. Regardless, here I am. I've learned a lot from him. I trust him in many ways. I go back and forth on moving on to not...he's always made me think a lot but this is something I would've rather not ever been an issue. Maybe for me it's a just another lesson.

LafayetteLady -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 5:40:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkAshleyness Quite honestly, I understand everybody has their own needs but the fact that a sub/slave would terminate a relationship based on the fact that a Dom refuses to do what they want is kind of weird to me. When you go into a relationship, it's perfectly clear that the Dom is the one in control and if you don't like that go adios but then again are you really a slave or a sub? That's why I don't really particularly like subs, because its my way or the highway, if they have requests and would LIKE it if I did something, it's my choice either way. Which is the reason that getting to know each other before embarking on a relationship is so important. If you wanted a slave that was bisexual, and the one you were talking with was fundamentally against it, you aren't a match. No one is wrong or right, you just don't match. I would assume that if you want someone who is naked and caged all day long that you aren't going to be interested in someone with a career and neither will she be interested in you. It doesn't make her less of a slave, it simply means you are looking for different things. It would be sheer lunacy to attempt to have a relationship where everything YOU want is everything SHE hates. We seek people with whom we have common interests. Hell, I tend to stay away from the ones who say they "live for" Monday night football. I'm just not into it, why should I subject myself to it when there are plenty of guys for whom it isn't so important?

DarkAshleyness -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 6:04:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote: ORIGINAL: DarkAshleyness Quite honestly, I understand everybody has their own needs but the fact that a sub/slave would terminate a relationship based on the fact that a Dom refuses to do what they want is kind of weird to me. When you go into a relationship, it's perfectly clear that the Dom is the one in control and if you don't like that go adios but then again are you really a slave or a sub? That's why I don't really particularly like subs, because its my way or the highway, if they have requests and would LIKE it if I did something, it's my choice either way. Which is the reason that getting to know each other before embarking on a relationship is so important. If you wanted a slave that was bisexual, and the one you were talking with was fundamentally against it, you aren't a match. No one is wrong or right, you just don't match. I would assume that if you want someone who is naked and caged all day long that you aren't going to be interested in someone with a career and neither will she be interested in you. It doesn't make her less of a slave, it simply means you are looking for different things. It would be sheer lunacy to attempt to have a relationship where everything YOU want is everything SHE hates. We seek people with whom we have common interests. Hell, I tend to stay away from the ones who say they "live for" Monday night football. I'm just not into it, why should I subject myself to it when there are plenty of guys for whom it isn't so important? I absolutely agree with you. I wasn't saying that everything was based on what I like. If we're not compatible then why are we in the relationship in the first place. I think that's why we talk to each other prior to getting into a relationship. D/s relationships are just like vanilla relationships, you got to figure out if the person is right for you, if not then obviously it's going to fail in the end. I wasn't saying that a slave/sub has no right to end the relationship, it's just that when you talk to somebody, its' important to discuss whats important to you and then if you both agree then that's the point where you've released yourself into their hands. It's just like trusting somebody with your life. (Literally.)

LafayetteLady -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 6:09:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkAshleyness I absolutely agree with you. I wasn't saying that everything was based on what I like. If we're not compatible then why are we in the relationship in the first place. I think that's why we talk to each other prior to getting into a relationship. D/s relationships are just like vanilla relationships, you got to figure out if the person is right for you, if not then obviously it's going to fail in the end. I wasn't saying that a slave/sub has no right to end the relationship, it's just that when you talk to somebody, its' important to discuss whats important to you and then if you both agree then that's the point where you've released yourself into their hands. It's just like trusting somebody with your life. (Literally.) Yes, but if you read the thread, remember where they did discuss it and he said that while it wouldn't be often, he would "if she was very very good" (I will restraing from commenting on that) give that to her as a reward. NOW he says it isn't part of their dynamic. Two different statements, agree? Sometimes all the talking in the world prior isn't going to do any good if someone is going to lead you in one direction when planning on going in another anyway.

xssve -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 6:19:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire quote: ORIGINAL: xssve quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Perhaps he is not good at it and if he goes down on you, he will suffer embarrassment when you start to laugh at him! Or at the very least when you say "no really it's okay if you don't" and you will mean it. funny thing...he didn't tongue kiss me for a long while...even now he will but not a whole lot. Still he's very good at kissing. I imagine cunnilligus would be the same but I guess I will never know[&o] I understand there are certain pleasures he derives from me that he doesn't get from the other relationships he has. No matter what we maintain a friendship. He is a big hearted man. He is Dominant. This mole hill grew into a mountain but that is not only due to the misleading on his part but the importance of the act to me. I won't speak bad of him. I'm so grateful this place exists. That all of you from all of your walks of life in this detoured avenue came to this thread and put your views and feelings down. I really appreciate it. I cannot tell you how much. Thank you thank you[:)] From this and somebody mentioning the fact that he does this with other women leads me to suspect that he may suspect you are promiscuous - I'm a bit squicky about it myself if I'm with somebody who see's other people - not so much I don't trust her as I may not know them. Hell, I've been known to hit on lesbians simply because I'm pretty sure they'll be disease free. The thought of going down there with somebody who turns out to have an STD might just sour the whole experience for me, I'd rather not go there, just the thought is... inhibiting. Have you tried a dental dam? Thing is, naturally, he might not want to say this, if he thinks it will offend you, which is, in some respects, good news, i.e., he doesn't want to offend you. valid question but i don't think that's the issue. the girls i am with are either in monogamous relationships(well with the exception I fuck em too) or they are safe & get checked to ensure it now & then, this includes me. In the beginning, when I asked him to get checked for me, he did, even so, condoms are always used. Sounds like a head game to me, in that instance. Either something about eating you bothers him psychologically (maybe you remind him of his mother or something), or he's trying to fuck with your head w/respect to some fantasy he has (anal only?), and just not doing a very good job of it. Some women are into anal only, but it's a pretty specific fetish, not all that common; most women, even most of those require some clitoral/vaginal stimulation. Since it's starting to look like it might be a dealbreaker for you, I suggest you just woman up and ask him, as tactfully as you deem necessary, otherwise, if he can't be honest it may well be a pattern.

sweetboundesire -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 7:36:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xssve Sounds like a head game to me, in that instance. Either something about eating you bothers him psychologically (maybe you remind him of his mother or something), or he's trying to fuck with your head w/respect to some fantasy he has (anal only?), and just not doing a very good job of it. Some women are into anal only, but it's a pretty specific fetish, not all that common; most women, even most of those require some clitoral/vaginal stimulation. Since it's starting to look like it might be a dealbreaker for you, I suggest you just woman up and ask him, as tactfully as you deem necessary, otherwise, if he can't be honest it may well be a pattern. pretty much if it is a deal breaker, i have to see him in person. I can't say good bye over the phone. it changes things. I don't feel the same about it knowing this won't ever happen between us. It's like the wind was let out of my sails. Its a major turn off.

Drifa -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 8:19:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkAshleyness Quite honestly, I understand everybody has their own needs but the fact that a sub/slave would terminate a relationship based on the fact that a Dom refuses to do what they want is kind of weird to me. When you go into a relationship, it's perfectly clear that the Dom is the one in control and if you don't like that go adios but then again are you really a slave or a sub? That's why I don't really particularly like subs, because its my way or the highway, if they have requests and would LIKE it if I did something, it's my choice either way. It's not about who is dominant. It's all about "are my basic needs being met?" In any relationship, everybody has a minimum set of needs that MUST be met or they will not be happy. It's a dominant's job to make sure that the sub's basic needs are met -- it's stupid to break your toys, and I don't just mean physically. Honestly, I love sex. I can ask my Lady for it. She decides if and when to let me have it. But I wouldn't stay in a relationship where my basic sexual, physical, mental and emotional needs went unmet. I communicate openly with my domme, which helps her know what my minimum needs are... because sometimes this changes over time (just wait until you are perimenopausal, if you want a lovely rollercoaster), or if one of you develops a serious health condition for which you have to make allowances. Unless that guy has some serious back or neck injury that makes it painful for him to eat pussy, then at least occasionally he ought to deliver. And if he does have said injury, then maybe they should try a hammock suspension, or he should allow her to bring in outside talent for cunnilingus. Heck, he might enjoy watching. Maybe he needs some flavored lubricant in there or a dental dam. But the only way to get to understand this is for both of them to talk candidly about their needs and the relationship.

PrimalConsonance -> RE: eating pussy (1/10/2010 10:05:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire this question is for any D/s relationship with strong s&m tendancies. for me, some vanilla in a D/s relationship is needed. very much so. I want to see my Dominant is all encompassing in fulfilling my needs, submissive and sexual. I cannot divide that man in half. So I want to know for all you sub ladies out there how many of you get this desire fulfilled. For me, being eaten is very important. It means a lot. Its a compliment. Huge. I know it's a vanilla act. My Dominant wont do it and i am struggling with that. Ive tried in every submissive way to express it's importance to me. He can give it anyway and under any condition and I look and smell good. I'm not deformed. lol yet this is making me feel insecure because he won't go there. He says it's not part of our interaction. To quote: "As I've explained, the dynamic of D/s, for me, reveals itself in different ways sexually. We are not vanilla sexually. We are vanilla outside of the room." In every way else he pleases me but at this point i am very hurt. I don't know how to go on...for me it's not complete unless i get this sometimes...I don't feel cared for. Or appreciated. i don't think i'm asking for a lot...i'm so lost....so i just got to know if what i desire, beyond, whips and paddles and ropes is normal for anyone else..... (CNJDom says:) My goodness the power of pussy...I'm responding from not only the OP, but also after my girl brought this thread up as a matter of conversation this weekend. Needless to say, there was a few times were she said "...that is what they are saying...", and I'll read up on the postings (though we are up to what 9 pages or so?) but wanted to respond directly first. As a dominant, I would first like to say that eating pussy is NOT a submissive or vanilla act. It's a sexual thing and not a BDSM thing. That is a cop-out statement to say otherwise. Secondly, it sounds to me like there is a couple of things going on here: (1) This dominant is either not confident around pussy, and possibly fears failure and inadequacy will be the end-result of this collision of tongue and "the little man in the boat"...something Hemingway-ish about that thought really. (2) This situation has somehow diminished at least on a sub-conscious level (pun not intended...well YES intended, and fitting somehow) the dominant in her thoughts. This diminishing effect could stem from the fact that the submissive has had it in her mind that the dominant is the authority, the power holder, and capable of doing anything...a hero if you would. She has had him on a pedestal of sorts, which is perfectly normal and understandable. But now, we have a dilemma, and it could be a matter of personal preference of doing this common sexual act of affection. But by putting a cop-out statement out there that going down is a vanilla act and has no place in BDSM...well I can safely say that this feeling isn't shared by the populous of kinksters here..and I'm sure that by the time I read through the responses, that feeling will have been correct. Shouldn't be afraid of pussy! Don't fear the pussy... And this may be the thought that is submerged right now...if he has the power and the capability..why fear this? The cop-out soft of says "I don't feel comfortable, I'm afraid I'm not going to be good at it, and I fear failure". So what to do? Well I'd say to the dominant to "bite the bullet"....but you girls might take it in the wrong light and start wincing, but I mean it in a figurative manner. Time to gently learn the cunning-linguistic arts. Books, videos, locker-room talk... maybe, but really try communicating with the one your with...watch, listen and learn. There could be some very exciting and intimate moments in this endeavor. Some wonderful moments could be had by mastering this. I personally love it, and combine that with my love of chewing as well as munching...well you get the picture. I do wish the OP and her dominant luck on overcoming this issue. If he don't like it, then just say so; and don't put some lame excuse out there..not fair to the submissive or the pussy ("Don't fear the pussy"...and we need more cowbell!).

sweetboundesire -> RE: eating pussy (1/11/2010 4:33:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Drifa Unless that guy has some serious back or neck injury that makes it painful for him to eat pussy, then at least occasionally he ought to deliver. lmao! no he's an athelete. He told me once again over the phone yesterday that he does do this with other women but has not felt compelled to do it with me. He likes to do what he likes to do when were together, which are many things he will never do with his vanilla girls, there is no script, no real advanced, "here is what I will do." I don't think he understands the importance of this act to me and I think even when he does, I care more and will be hurt more than he when it's over. I can't go on like this. It's a mental thing. It changes things. I've never felt turned off about us till now. So anyway, my heart is preparing. (funny side note: when I go to this thread, Lords of Acid's "Pussy" song starts to play in my head! lol)

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