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RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 10:52:20 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babyblues

i had a recent discussion with several Doms and subs regarding friendship between Dominants and their submissives...should a Dominant and His/Her submissive be friends? to me friendship feels too vanilla and is a sign of equality...perhaps because i am M/s as opposed to D/s? how can i be something as simple as a "friend" to someone who controls every aspect of my life....any thoughts?


I didn't even like my first Master, much less be friends with him. It's entirely possible to be friends, but it's not a requirement for a power dynamic to exist.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to babyblues)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 11:06:52 AM   
DarkSideOfThMoon


Posts: 117
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		I would consider myself first a submissive and then a friend to my Dom. We started out as friends, and no doubt when this ends we will finish as friends. I consider myself his equal, it just happens that he is dominant and I am submissive, and in that context his needs mean more then mine because this is what I enjoy and he enjoys.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 3:42:43 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I am slave, lover, friend, partner, confidant, playmate, toy and whatever else my Lord wants me to be.  The aspects of our relationship other than master and slave only enhance and add to his authority and my submission, they do not hinder it in anyway.  This is what works for us and others have to find what works for them and that may or may not include friendship.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to babyblues)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 5:03:28 PM   
MasterBuckeye


Posts: 43
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: OHIO
Status: offline 		Personally, I feel that there has to be some kind of bond between the slave and their Master, so I am inclined to say yes there has to be some kind of friendship involved.

_____________________________

Master Buckeye

"IGNORANCE CAN BE CURED WITH EDUCATION; BUT STUPIDITY IS HOPELESS!"


(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 7:00:23 PM   
psykocloud


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		For me we would have to become friends first. I just can't see anyway for me not to have that type of relationship first. It's very important to me.

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 7:14:11 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		A dog is a mans best friend....kill the dog!  Now, you stand a chance

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to psykocloud)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 7:21:41 PM   
hhhkane


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I personally think you should be friends because if he doesen't have the qualities you seek in a friend-how could you respect him to want to submit.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 7:33:29 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hhhkane

I personally think you should be friends because if he doesen't have the qualities you seek in a friend-how could you respect him to want to submit.


That lass is one of the golden keys in a relationship, especially a D/s, M/d and a Gorean one.

Thankyou.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to hhhkane)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 7:40:16 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I think its perfectly acceptable to be friends with your dom. After all, many D/s and M/s couples are more than just friends, they are lovers, partners, or even joined/married. I would feel more comfortable submitting or bottoming to someone with whom I was friends, rather than someone I was ambivalent about, did not know, or did not like.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to babyblues)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 8:46:00 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i had a recent discussion with several Doms and subs regarding friendship between Dominants and their submissives...should a Dominant and His/Her submissive be friends? to me friendship feels too vanilla and is a sign of equality...perhaps because i am M/s as opposed to D/s? how can i be something as simple as a "friend" to someone who controls every aspect of my life....any thoughts?

 
I don't know if they "should" be friends, but I do know that Master is my very best friend.  After all... what is a "friend?"  It's a confidante; it's someone who is there for you through thick and thin; it's someone you know you can count on when you need cheering up; it's someone who will take care of you when you're sick, knowing you'd do the same for them.  He is all these things and more, and that's why I gave myself to Him. 

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to babyblues)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 8:46:29 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

It's entirely possible to be friends, but it's not a requirement for a power dynamic to exist.



Quite true, though for me a great part of my slave's role is to be an adoring and very intimate animal for my many pleasures.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 9:19:34 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I have to agree with kyra on this one....Personally for me,then it would be yes...be well...Tempting

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 9:33:31 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		For me, yes. 
If one has trust, and openness, and loyalty, and support, and so forth, and doesn't see that as friendship, it is certainly their call, but I want to have those things in my M/s relationships.. 

I could play with people who didn't see me as a friend, but nothing more. 

And I will agree with the person who mentioned the possibility of friendliness being mistaken for weakness, but my preference would be to not find myself in a relationship with anyone who made that particular mistake.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/22/2006 11:38:12 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think submission is in the cards for me with someone that I hadn't developed an intimate friendship with first. I've tried. I'm too strong-willed to submit to anyone that I don't hold in the deepest regard.  And too protective of the inner mechanics of my psyche to turn it over to someone that I wasn't absolutely certain of his intent to do his very best in handling the tricky business of domination and submission. 

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/23/2006 12:55:34 AM   
dreamtiger61


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline 		Why not?  My Master is also a friend in many ways to me.  We can talk to eachother.  We laugh about things.  We listen to the same music.  We eat dinner together.  We go out on the town or play together.  We both enjoy eachother's company.  He is always in control of things.  I am subject to his discipline and must obey.  In turn, Master allows me to have some rewards if I have earned them.  We live together in a M/s relationship but in other ways as friends too.

(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: should Master be your friend? - 3/23/2006 5:26:22 AM   
jennalynn


Posts: 67
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		For me, friendship has to be there.  i also believe every relationship needs to begin in friendship.   Then again i also believe love needs to be there.  i cannot imagine trusting a Man with 'all' of me without it.  So yes, when i am once more owned, i hope to be His slave, His friend, His lover, and His confidant.

jenna

< Message edited by jennalynn -- 3/23/2006 5:27:15 AM >

(in reply to babyblues)
Profile   Post #: 36
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