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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 9:44:45 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		check the sign that gives you my answer =)

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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 9:45:04 AM   
MarcEsadrian


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Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

would you take a collar from someone that you was not in love with?


Love or the absence of it: there are pros and cons for the sovereign and servant. In general, escaping hatred is the wiser focus.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to Knighthunter862)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 9:46:00 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		nope.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 9:51:09 AM   
newsubgirl21


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		There are so many things that each person needs in a relationship. To except a collar for any type of r/l realationships one of those things that I need  is an emotional attachment.  Love. and knowing that he loves me in return, Everyone loves in thier own way. My love is more like adoration. But love is not the most important thing in any relationship. Love can not hold up any type of relationship on its own. I should know since I jumped into a marriage with a guy just because I loved him. and now where are we..getting a divorce. Life happens. When choosing a partner you have to make sure that he is the right person for you in every way. You cant give in hope there is someone out there for you.

(in reply to Knighthunter862)
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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 10:01:01 AM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubgirl21

But love is not the most important thing in any relationship. Love can not hold up any type of relationship on its own.


I second this. Love is a component of most healthy, long-term, committed relationships, but to me it's not the single most important aspect. And love comes in different flavors. There's newsubgirl21's adoration, there's my devotion, there's the "Bridges of Madison County"-music-swelling-in-the-background-even-though-we-hardly-know-eachother thing, etc.

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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 10:08:14 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
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Status: offline 		to little is given for contentment

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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 10:13:42 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

to little is given for contentment


True, and also love is a million different things, I have said a fair few times on this site about the greek terms for love, often in western society love means one thing the all encompassing passion/lust/chemistry when love really can mean a lot more than that, it doesn't have to be thunderbolts and fireworks. I don't think love has to be about longevity, you can love someone for a moment.

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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 11:28:14 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Nope. But as others have said if the only thing between us was love, I wouldn't then either. Compatibility, trust, mutual respect, shared moral and ethical values, love - I needed it all.

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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 11:47:46 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
take yer meds, Osf.

Oh gawd, that's too TOO funny!! 
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Just to clarify, the above question and answers seem to not consider a collar of protection, a collar just used for play/roleplay, etc.

I would not be collared to be owned without love, but yes to just for play.  My opinion is still out on the collar of protection, because if I'm collared even as that, it might cut down on Doms seriously looking at me for a loving Owner/owned relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 11:54:38 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		Neil Gaiman stated:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

(in reply to Knighthunter862)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 12:20:16 PM   
agirl


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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

would you take a collar from someone that you was not in love with?


Well, yes, 'though I asked to be owned, it wasn't offered. I was very fond of him at the time......Years later, I  absolutely adore him, worship him, am devoted to him, am passionate about him....some people call that *love*. I still don't know for sure but it'll do for now.

agirl

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 12:23:32 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

absolutely and with a resounding no.

If it's not a committed loving relationship I have zero desire.




Ditto. Just like that.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 4:42:56 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		If I was going to accept a collar from someone I would need to love him. I don't believe I'd ever want a collar for play or a collar of consideration or a collar of protection or anything else. There is only one type of collar in my mind and I'd need to feel a bond of love with that man in order to accept it.

(in reply to Knighthunter862)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 5:06:56 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on how much I could get for it at the Pawn & Loan.

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RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 6:24:39 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Love has everything to do with it...

personally.

Others may collar for the sake of play/tension release but I would rather wait. And I did.

And it was well worth it.


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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 6:40:37 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

Love or the absence of it: there are pros and cons for the sovereign and servant. In general, escaping hatred is the wiser focus.


Hatred is often part of one's daily life if one were to check in deep enough. It does not equal a hateful soul to sense these feelings within.

Dislike, as in rubs you the wrong way, doesnt seem like a fit, not interested is different than having tough feelings coming up between one one actually likes. It is a more tricky place that escaping is not always the wiser focus at all.

By the way, Marc, really freaking beautiful photo's you have taken. You are surrounded by so much of that elegant, clean beauty, in people and the settings.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/10/2010 9:49:43 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

Love or the absence of it: there are pros and cons for the sovereign and servant. In general, escaping hatred is the wiser focus.


It does not equal a hateful soul to sense these feelings within.


That would entirely depend upon how much one hates, I'd say. As for the above, I don't speak as if it is ideal to be free of negative feelings; that is quite impossible, if you're human. It is of being hated—that intense, passionate poison—I recommend being wary of when leading or serving. Love or desire is a bond. Even fear, if plied in the right way, is a bond. Love, desire and fear is an ideal trinity for some. But hatred? That is bad ground to rule over or serve under.



quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream
By the way, Marc, really freaking beautiful photo's you have taken.


Thank you, Heart.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/11/2010 8:15:50 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Knighthunter862

would you take a collar from someone that you was not in love with?


Previously, I might/would have said yes, basing my answer on the belief that I do not perceive being ‘in love’ the same as others; I suspect it is more accurate to say, what I require to be in love is different than the generally stated needs.

Therefore, this time, I will say no. I need balance; to be in harmony with the one I am with. To me, that is being in love.

Kim


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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to Knighthunter862)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/11/2010 9:14:08 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

Having initiated a divorce from a man I was in love with for 20 years and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I was doing the right thing confirms for me that love is not always enough and sometimes isn't even necessary to make a healthy relationship.



I do not understand why this is not considered love.

Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to lucylucy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Whats love got to do with it - 1/11/2010 9:25:37 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RealSub58

Neil Gaiman stated:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”


I have to disagree with Mr. Gaiman, that isn't love.

Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 40
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