Exploring My Dominance

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GreenMan1966 -> Exploring My Dominance (1/10/2010 7:34:05 PM)
I'd like some general advice about how to go about exploring my dominant side, how to find potential partners to explore this with, and possibly what sorts of things I might start off with. I know this is something that I must do, that I want to do but I'm not sure where to begin. About me: I'm gay, I'm 43, single, live alone. I'm mostly attracted to mature men 40-70 or so... I'm also a nondrinker, nonsmoker, and non-druguser. This includes poppers and pot for those who might be users of those. I'm not sure where to look, who to seek out, what to tell them I want, what to do once I meet them, nothing! Thanks for any/all suggestions, and claryfing questions I am glad to answer. GreenMan1966 Nashville, TN

breatheasone -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/10/2010 7:39:15 PM)
Hi GreenMan, thats a tough spot you are in. To be honest, if you don't know what you want, i'm not sure what to say.... There are some AWESOME books on this subject. One for sure i know is great, is Called "The Loving Dominant" its not a very big book and you could probably read it in a weekend. Welcome to the boards.

chamberqueen -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/10/2010 8:32:59 PM)
In order to control someone else you must first be able to control yourself. Before I ever touched a sub I made sure that I understood the psychology of BDSM as well as safety issues, and I have never raised a flogger (or anything else) in anger. That would be my first suggestion - to be sure that you are truly ready to have someone turn their mind and body over to you, and to know whether you want that for sessions only or on a more full time basis. It is only when you know yourself well that you are ready to know someone else so intimately.

MstrssScarlet -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/10/2010 9:05:14 PM)
This is a bit off topic, but I was glad to see you specify that you consider poppers as drug using. I was at an event about to use someone elses submissive when they offered one to me. It may sound naive, but I wasn't familiar with them at all. A friend of mine sitting nearby nodded toward the bottle and told me it was "just" a popper. I took a small wiff and WOW! I graciously turned down the offer and spent very little time with the submissive. He was gay and uncomfortable with female dominants and I understood that. I sat and watched as his master played with him afterward (very hard I might add) while sniffing the poppers every few minutes. For the life of me, I don't know how he could keep control of himself well enough to play while indulging himself this way. Perhaps he got used to them? I don't know, but I figured the submissive (who was not restrained in any way) would let him know when he'd had enough. Now, more to your question...if you're able to make it to Indianapolis, GLLA is coming up this summer and you could probably find a lot of information there. It's a gay leather event, but they allow people of all sexual persuasions to attend. Still, it focuses mainly on the gay population. I would be glad to foward you the link if you're interested. Scarlet

DarkSteven -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/10/2010 10:05:45 PM)
Well, you can either check out the gay scene and look for kinky types or the kink scenes and look for gays. Locally, craigslist seems to have a lot of mfm ads that want simple play. You may want to check them out for play partners but I would strongly recommend against casual sex that way - the risk of STDs is too high.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 1:02:00 AM)
We highly recommend getting out into your local community. The groups that you find on the net will most likely be Pan (which usually means predominantly het). Ask around, and eventually you'll find if the nearest big city has a gay leather bar or a gay bar that has leather/BDSM night. Stick around the Pan group, though... there's plenty to learn! Master Fire

osf -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:07:42 AM)
stop asking for advice here and figure it out on your own other than that get to know some actual COUPLES and you can go to mast http://www.mast.net/

sirsholly -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:10:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf stop asking for advice here and figure it out on your own well how very helpful of you, Osf. [8\|]

sirsholly -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:17:36 AM)
quote: I'd like some general advice about how to go about exploring my dominant side, how to find potential partners to explore this with, and possibly what sorts of things I might start off with. My advice to you would be to get out into your local BDSM community, not to seek a relationship as much as to talk to others who have the type of relationship you are interested in. Then, when you do find a submissive, talk and talk and talk. When you are done talking,begin to converse, gab, chat, and flap-jaw. The lines of communication should always be open between the Dom and sub, but it is critical for you since you are new. I urge you not to jump into a session until you are totally comfortable with the sub, his limits and your confidence. Best of luck to you [:)]

osf -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:22:35 AM)
quote: My advice to you would be to get out into your local BDSM community, not to seek a relationship as much as to talk to others who have the type of relationship you are interested in. the best is mast as i already said your a post late and a dollar short i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant lololololol

DesFIP -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:26:12 AM)
For those who think that they are the exception and don't lose focus, control, reaction time while using allow us sober types to inform you that you're wrong. We can see that you aren't in control. Enjoy your denial but expect other, more sane people, to refuse to play with you. I haven't done poppers in years and yes, I would definitely classify them as a drug.

osf -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:34:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP For those who think that they are the exception and don't lose focus, control, reaction time while using allow us sober types to inform you that you're wrong. We can see that you aren't in control. Enjoy your denial but expect other, more sane people, to refuse to play with you. I haven't done poppers in years and yes, I would definitely classify them as a drug. sweetheart i'm definitely not after a sane woman like you, i want some crazy bitch that will actually obey

sirsholly -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:45:29 AM)
quote: i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant lololololol Osf, if you would shut the hell up and listen for a change you might actually benefit from some of the advice the submissives on these forums have the NERVE to offer a Dom. Instead of creating the multitude of silly assed threads you come up with on a daily basis, put your fingers in neutral, remove your head from your ass and read what others, irregardless of their role, have to say. The intelligence and experience on these forums are amazing and you are missing the majority of it. Apologies to the OP for the rant.

osf -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:52:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant lololololol Osf, if you would shut the hell up and listen for a change you might actually benefit from some of the advice the submissives on these forums have the NERVE to offer a Dom. Instead of creating the multitude of silly assed threads you come up with on a daily basis, put your fingers in neutral, remove your head from your ass and read what others, irregardless of their role, have to say. The intelligence and experience on these forums are amazing and you are missing the majority of it. Apologies to the OP for the rant. i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff

DesFIP -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 4:59:57 AM)
My advice would be to look in the gay community as the kink one is more heterosexual and would offer him much fewer range of partners. Just date, and be honest with your partners as to your interested. If they say they aren't into this, wish them good luck finding someone more compatible and move on.

sirsholly -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 5:02:19 AM)
quote: i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff _____________________________ that's fine, Osf. But let me tell you something...while you are playing Urber-Dom...too superior to entertain the thought that a lowly submissive has value...keep in mind that most of the subs who participate on these boards are in successful, happy relationships. You are 65 years old and alone. Snuggle up to that superior attitude at night and see how warm it keeps you.

DarkSteven -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 5:06:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff I've learned from everyone that I can, including submissives. And I have (and had) less to learn than you do, and more time in which to do it.

EbonyWood -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 5:13:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant You need to learn somehow. On your own, you've learned to be as dominant as a 65 yr old fantasist in Mom's basement.. Oh wait...

eyesopened -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 5:15:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff Why do you start so many threads on the Ask A Submissive/Slave board?

osf -> RE: Exploring My Dominance (1/11/2010 5:16:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened quote: ORIGINAL: osf i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff Why do you start so many threads on the Ask A Submissive/Slave board? thats where the subs are

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