Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Exploring My Dominance


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Exploring My Dominance Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Exploring My Dominance - 1/10/2010 7:34:05 PM   
GreenMan1966


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/10/2010
Status: offline 		I'd like some general advice about how to go about exploring my dominant side, how to find potential partners to explore this with, and possibly what sorts of things I might start off with.

I know this is something that I must do, that I want to do but I'm not sure where to begin.

About me:
I'm gay, I'm 43, single, live alone.
I'm mostly attracted to mature men 40-70 or so...
I'm also a nondrinker, nonsmoker, and non-druguser. 
This includes poppers and pot for those who might be users of those.

I'm not sure where to look, who to seek out, what to tell them I want, what to do once I meet them, nothing!

Thanks for any/all suggestions, and claryfing questions I am glad to answer.
GreenMan1966
Nashville, TN
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/10/2010 7:39:15 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Hi GreenMan, thats a tough spot you are in. To be honest, if you don't know what you want, i'm not sure what to say.... There are some AWESOME books on this subject. One for sure i know is great, is Called "The Loving Dominant" its not a very big book and you could probably read it in a weekend. Welcome to the boards.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to GreenMan1966)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/10/2010 8:32:59 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		In order to control someone else you must first be able to control yourself.  Before I ever touched a sub I made sure that I understood the psychology of BDSM as well as safety issues, and I have never raised a flogger (or anything else) in anger.  That would be my first suggestion - to be sure that you are truly ready to have someone turn their mind and body over to you, and to know whether you want that for sessions only or on a more full time basis.  It is only when you know yourself well that you are ready to know someone else so intimately.

_____________________________



(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/10/2010 9:05:14 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline 		This is a bit off topic, but I was glad to see you specify that you consider poppers as drug using. I was at an event about to use someone elses submissive when they offered one to me. It may sound naive, but I wasn't familiar with them at all. A friend of mine sitting nearby nodded toward the bottle and told me it was "just" a popper. I took a small wiff and WOW! I graciously turned down the offer and spent very little time with the submissive. He was gay and uncomfortable with female dominants and I understood that. I sat and watched as his master played with him afterward (very hard I might add) while sniffing the poppers every few minutes. For the life of me, I don't know how he could keep control of himself well enough to play while indulging himself this way. Perhaps he got used to them? I don't know, but I figured the submissive (who was not restrained in any way) would let him know when he'd had enough.
Now, more to your question...if you're able to make it to Indianapolis, GLLA is coming up this summer and you could probably find a lot of information there. It's a gay leather event, but they allow people of all sexual persuasions to attend. Still, it focuses mainly on the gay population. I would be glad to foward you the link if you're interested.
Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/10/2010 10:05:45 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, you can either check out the gay scene and look for kinky types or the kink scenes and look for gays.

Locally, craigslist seems to have a lot of mfm ads that want simple play.  You may want to check them out for play partners but I would strongly recommend against casual sex that way - the risk of STDs is too high.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 1:02:00 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		We highly recommend getting out into your local community. The groups that you find on the net will most likely be Pan (which usually means predominantly het). Ask around, and eventually you'll find if the nearest big city has a gay leather bar or a gay bar that has leather/BDSM night.

Stick around the Pan group, though... there's plenty to learn!

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to GreenMan1966)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:07:42 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		stop asking for advice here and figure it out on your own

other than that get to know some actual COUPLES and you can go to mast

http://www.mast.net/

< Message edited by osf -- 1/11/2010 4:08:38 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:10:40 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

stop asking for advice here and figure it out on your own



well how very helpful of you, Osf.




_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:17:36 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I'd like some general advice about how to go about exploring my dominant side, how to find potential partners to explore this with, and possibly what sorts of things I might start off with.


My advice to you would be to get out into your local BDSM community, not to seek a relationship as much as to talk to others who have the type of relationship you are interested in.

Then, when you do find a submissive, talk and talk and talk. When you are done talking,begin to converse, gab, chat, and flap-jaw.
The lines of communication should always be open between the Dom and sub, but it is critical for you since you are new. I urge you not to jump into a session until you are totally comfortable with the sub, his limits and your confidence.

Best of luck to you


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to GreenMan1966)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:22:35 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

My advice to you would be to get out into your local BDSM community, not to seek a relationship as much as to talk to others who have the type of relationship you are interested in.


the best is mast as i already said

your a post late and a dollar short

i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant lololololol

< Message edited by osf -- 1/11/2010 4:24:01 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:26:12 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		For those who think that they are the exception and don't lose focus, control, reaction time while using allow us sober types to inform you that you're wrong. We can see that you aren't in control. Enjoy your denial but expect other, more sane people, to refuse to play with you.

I haven't done poppers in years and yes, I would definitely classify them as a drug.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:34:34 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

For those who think that they are the exception and don't lose focus, control, reaction time while using allow us sober types to inform you that you're wrong. We can see that you aren't in control. Enjoy your denial but expect other, more sane people, to refuse to play with you.

I haven't done poppers in years and yes, I would definitely classify them as a drug.


sweetheart i'm definitely not after a sane woman like you, i want some crazy bitch that will actually obey

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:45:29 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant lololololol
Osf, if you would shut the hell up and listen for a change you might actually benefit from some of the advice the submissives on these forums have the NERVE to offer a Dom.

Instead of creating the multitude of silly assed threads you come up with on a daily basis, put your fingers in neutral, remove your head from your ass and read what others, irregardless of their role, have to say. The intelligence and experience on these forums are amazing and you are missing the majority of it.


Apologies to the OP for the rant.

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 1/11/2010 4:46:21 AM >

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:52:53 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant lololololol
Osf, if you would shut the hell up and listen for a change you might actually benefit from some of the advice the submissives on these forums have the NERVE to offer a Dom.

Instead of creating the multitude of silly assed threads you come up with on a daily basis, put your fingers in neutral, remove your head from your ass and read what others, irregardless of their role, have to say. The intelligence and experience on these forums are amazing and you are missing the majority of it.


Apologies to the OP for the rant.


i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 4:59:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		My advice would be to look in the gay community as the kink one is more heterosexual and would offer him much fewer range of partners. Just date, and be honest with your partners as to your interested. If they say they aren't into this, wish them good luck finding someone more compatible and move on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 5:02:19 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff

_____________________________
that's fine, Osf. But let me tell you something...while you are playing Urber-Dom...too superior to entertain the thought that a lowly submissive has value...keep in mind that most of the subs who participate on these boards are in successful, happy relationships.
You are 65 years old  and alone.

Snuggle up to that superior attitude at night and see how warm it keeps you.




_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 5:06:45 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff



I've learned from everyone that I can, including submissives.  And I have (and had) less to learn than you do, and more time in which to do it.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 5:13:40 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i just fucking love it when a sub tells a guy how to be a dominant


You need to learn somehow.
 
On your own, you've learned to be as dominant as a 65 yr old fantasist in Mom's basement..
 
Oh wait...

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 5:15:22 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff


Why do you start so many threads on the Ask A Submissive/Slave board?

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Exploring My Dominance - 1/11/2010 5:16:36 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
i need advice from the subs here as much as i need investment advice from Bernie madoff


Why do you start so many threads on the Ask A Submissive/Slave board?


thats where the subs are

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Exploring My Dominance Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094