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RE: choices - 1/11/2010 11:44:37 AM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

Oh i can answer this because i done it!!! Yes, i did!!!

I chose neither, and chosen to stay alone. The nice thing and hardest part of being a widow was I learned to embrace not needing a mate, Dom or what have you. My choice always was to stay alone until the right one came along. It is nice to not have to choose from 2 mistakes and wait for the right one to come..Yes it is!!!

...and the right one did come along. so i was available for Him. Always good to wait for the right one, ort you just be miserable in the 2 choices you gave , osf.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to WestBaySlave)

Post #: 21

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 11:46:07 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i don't think anybody submits to anybody

To submit is to yield something, a hell of a lot of people submit to a hell of a lot of things.

quote:

i do think sometimes they don't fully understand what they really need in another person

Which is true of dominants and switches and vanilla people and children and adults and ...

A lot of people don't understand what they need because they are preoccupied by what they want.

quote:

to me that's part of the dynamic, her uncertainty and his determination

Maybe a part of your dynamic but not a part of mine. Being submissive doesn't mean uncertain, nor does it mean ignorant any more than being anything else does.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 22

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 11:53:53 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

if thats your answer, not knowing you i have nothing to add

my comments are strictly from my experience, mileage may vary

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 23

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 12:09:17 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

i do think sometimes they don't fully understand what they really need in another person

to me that's part of the dynamic, her uncertainty and his determination

yes, of course. This is why a submissive should never be domless. We have no clue what our needs are, nor do we know our own minds, but a Dom that we hardly know will be happy to fill us in on that. Riiiight.

*best Scarlett O'Hara voice*
Why i doooo deeeeclare, i don't know what us poor helpless submissive females would do without your knowledge and guidance, Osf.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 24

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 12:12:02 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

i do think sometimes they don't fully understand what they really need in another person

to me that's part of the dynamic, her uncertainty and his determination
yes, of course. This is why a submissive should never be domless. We have no clue what our needs are, nor do we know our own minds, but a Dom that we hardly know will be happy to fill us in on that. Riiiight.

*best Scarlett O'Hara voice*
Why i doooo deeeeclare, i don't know what us poor helpless submissive females would do without your knowledge and guidance, Osf.

well i hope you and your sub male work things out to your liking

to each their own

live and let live i say

mileage may vary

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 25

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 12:26:39 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

assuming you as a submissive had to make a choice between two dominants, one had the force of character you wanted but didn't like his kink, or one whose kink you were more comfortable with but were not as attracted to on a personal basis, what would be your choice?

this is an edit to make more clear what i meant, the first can create the structure you crave the second cant

I would go with neither. I would keep on looking because neither is compatible with me.....I need both the "force of character" AND the compatible kink. I found Someone like that before, and it can happen again.....and IS worth waiting for.

Yes, it is and believe me it can happen. If anything that i can help another submissive with is waiting is a good thing. We don't need to choose from one dom or another, if neither work for us. We can actually still be very submissive in many other ways. Well worth the wait. .

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 26

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 12:28:52 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

there are always choices to be made, always

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

Post #: 27

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 12:29:03 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

assuming you as a submissive had to make a choice between two dominants, one had the force of character you wanted but didn't like his kink, or one whose kink you were more comfortable with but were not as attracted to on a personal basis, what would be your choice?

I was really quite happy by myself until this really cool man came into my life who I am totally compatible with. Absent that, I was quite content to be alone. So given the options above, I would choose neither, and remain happy by myself. Relationships are so much more complex than A or B. If I didn't naturally come together with someone, it's not a relationship I want to struggle through.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 28

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 12:39:24 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

there are always choices to be made, always

If this is what you believe then of course it is true for you. Truth though is usually a dellusion based on illusions that we have fabricated in our mind.

To me there is no choice with your original post for me, nor would there have to be. i shatter those illusions already. Was there a choice to remain by myself or live with Sir, of course, i could have chosen to stay put, yet my illusions on that didn't carry an weight. He is natural for me to pick up an move to live with. He after all has a lot of the characteristics i find healthy and good in long term relationships, being that i have had one before. I can totally without a problem submit to him out of my desire to because of who he is, and nothing less. Less isn't in my vocabulary any more.
blessings

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 29

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 12:41:20 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

If this is what you believe then of course it is true for you. Truth though is usually a dellusion based on illusions that we have fabricated in our mind.

so you found the absolute perfect male?

how many times in your life have you thought that?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

Post #: 30

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 1:07:42 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Until you get this "idea" out of your head: "never anthropomorphize a submissive woman" you will never hear nor understand submissive women.

I *did* narrow my search down to two extremely worthy Doms when I was finally ready to choose. One was a bit more hard core, (and lots of fun!) but I couldn't see him ever really settling down with me, which is something I desired. He is one of my (and HM's) best friends to this day.

The other was not as hard core, and his kinks were things I hadn't really considered, but were acceptable to me. Both of the men were able to communicate well, were a LOT of fun to be around and to talk to, and pursued me as if I were a rare and valuable woman, not only a submissive thing. They both understood that I was a person first; but a person who could and would fulfill their fantasies.

I went with door number two. It's been four years now, and we have grown through our relationship. One thing to remember is that real life DOES happen! Kink is fun, but it's not everything. Having a best friend you can rely on, and be there for is much more important, unless it's just a kink based relationship.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 31

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 1:43:32 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Until you get this "idea" out of your head: "never anthropomorphize a submissive woman" you will never hear nor understand submissive women.

I *did* narrow my search down to two extremely worthy Doms when I was finally ready to choose. One was a bit more hard core, (and lots of fun!) but I couldn't see him ever really settling down with me, which is something I desired. He is one of my (and HM's) best friends to this day.

The other was not as hard core, and his kinks were things I hadn't really considered, but were acceptable to me. Both of the men were able to communicate well, were a LOT of fun to be around and to talk to, and pursued me as if I were a rare and valuable woman, not only a submissive thing. They both understood that I was a person first; but a person who could and would fulfill their fantasies.

I went with door number two. It's been four years now, and we have grown through our relationship. One thing to remember is that real life DOES happen! Kink is fun, but it's not everything. Having a best friend you can rely on, and be there for is much more important, unless it's just a kink based relationship.

you just validated my premise you made a choice between two men much as the premise described

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 32

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 1:51:22 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I would not choose either man. I would rather be alone then settle for something less then the whole package. I was lucky my Master had the right combination of dominant personallitly and kink that is just what i was looking for. I have been around enough to know i would not settle, and i just happend to have found the perfect man FOR ME.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 33

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 1:52:54 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Until you get this "idea" out of your head: "never anthropomorphize a submissive woman" you will never hear nor understand submissive women.

I *did* narrow my search down to two extremely worthy Doms when I was finally ready to choose. One was a bit more hard core, (and lots of fun!) but I couldn't see him ever really settling down with me, which is something I desired. He is one of my (and HM's) best friends to this day.

The other was not as hard core, and his kinks were things I hadn't really considered, but were acceptable to me. Both of the men were able to communicate well, were a LOT of fun to be around and to talk to, and pursued me as if I were a rare and valuable woman, not only a submissive thing. They both understood that I was a person first; but a person who could and would fulfill their fantasies.

I went with door number two. It's been four years now, and we have grown through our relationship. One thing to remember is that real life DOES happen! Kink is fun, but it's not everything. Having a best friend you can rely on, and be there for is much more important, unless it's just a kink based relationship.

you just validated my premise you made a choice between two men much as the premise described

Did I say I didn't?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 34

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 2:02:27 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

then i misunderstood you

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 35

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 2:07:42 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

If this is what you believe then of course it is true for you. Truth though is usually a dellusion based on illusions that we have fabricated in our mind.

so you found the absolute perfect male?

how many times in your life have you thought that?

lol
you are really too funny. i can answer that though:) 2x late hubby and Sir.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 36

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 2:11:48 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

were you right both times?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

Post #: 37

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 2:24:31 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

there are always choices to be made, always

yes... and just maybe the more pertinent question to ask is not a choice between either or to support some fabricated premise... but.... "what choices did you need to make that lead you to your Dominant partner"....

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 38

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 2:27:04 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

then i suggest you start a thread with that question

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 39

RE: choices - 1/11/2010 2:53:02 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

Yes i am right and been right. i could drag out my crystal ball on this one, but i don't want to cheat. Even if it is not forever, which by the way i don't believe in anyways-forever, it is the right choice for me.

i don't need to have someone under the same roof as me osf, though i can desire it.at times. To share another's roof or mine though doesn't come often, because simply i don't have the thirst to belong to another, or have one belong to me, if i was a dom. Instead i have a thirst for life, my mind doesn't function in relationship with another=my happiness. No man on earth will provide me my happiness, i have it already. They will enrich my life, as i do theirs....Other things make me happy especially when it involves learning and stretching my mind. Most likely because of how i am, being owned or married never was my priority. I didn't rule it out either, just if happen good and if not okay. So when the right partner came along it was a natural event and being under one roof was natural.

I cannot fabricate myself to fit into another's dream. I have had many relationships prior to hubby and a couple after hubby's death, but none of them came as a focus of being own by them, or married. i didnt believe i would move in with another after hubby died., but there is one more though who i find is worth my submission, so it will be.

Interesting thing maybe for a submissive to be choosing on who is worth their total submission? It worked and works for me still. As late hubby said, being married to me was a priveledge because i never settle and he knew i came into the relationship from my choice and not because i had to have a husband. When i give me it is not a gift, it is a promise that i will work hard to please you in any way shape or form, because i see you as worthie.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 40

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