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Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 2:37:18 PM

LadyThornrose

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

Hi folks! I really hope this doesn't start a flame war. I apologize in advance if anyone is offended.

I’m very confused by the ageism in D/s and I wondered if someone could enlighten me. Why does 40 seem to be the age of forced retirement for submissives? I’ve noticed that many Dommes request young candidates, and I know several submissives that were “let go” by their Dommes after reaching a certain age.

Does that mean that most submissives stop feeling the desire to be submissive as they age? Or are they destined to spend the second half of their life without an owner? Do we need to establish a submissive retirement home where they can receive the spankings and enemas that they need? Or should they be the ones working at a retirement home, serving old and frail Dommes?

I have received wonderful service from subs of ages ranging from their 20’s through their 60’s. I guess I can understand that a very aged sub may not be able to provide certain physical services, or receive certain physical punishments – and I can see where Dommes looking for a “soulmate” may prefer a certain age range… but aren’t there benefits to older subs? They may be wiser, more experienced, more interesting to have a conversation with. They may be retired with more time and financial freedom. Is it because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? But when did 40 become old??? I’m 37 and I plan to be learning, growing and exploring for a LONG time. I consider 40 PRIME and 80 the beginning of old age.

I know that different people need different things… and I know that I may be atypical of most Dommes because my sexual/physical Domination is usually reserved for my (currently non-existent) primary partner, but I would really like to understand the reasons behind this.

Blessings,
Lady Thornrose

_____________________________

Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

Post #: 1

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 2:48:08 PM

MistressWolfen

Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

I agree with you LadyThornrose, and quite frankly as a mature Dominant Woman, I find I have less patience for the younger inexperienced subs and actually prefer a mature, intelligent and experienced submissive. I suppose the "eye candy" definitely has a perk, but that wanes very quickly.
The Way is in training... Do nothing which is not of value. -- Miyamato Musashi

< Message edited by MistressWolfen -- 3/22/2006 2:53:43 PM >

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 2

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 2:55:20 PM

boy43

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

oh Ma´am, i hope aging arent going to be the main raison to be without an owner, to lose the hope to feel thats place as ours, and let go the happines to make happy the Female that lead te heart of a slave. So many things desapear at some point of the life... but other apear in the horizon, to let the slaves follwing other directions, perhaps as the elfs, to take the sea in the far coasts towards other fate, to other soul lands.
Your words made me sad, and make me feel like a broken and lost toy.
Respecfully
enrique

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 3

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 2:55:55 PM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

There are often threads from young subs feeling they aren't given a chance because of their youth as well as threads from those feeling they are passed by as too old. I think there are people of every age seeking people of every age. It is often down to personal preference.

I tend to go for subs close to my own age as generally ( yes, there are exceptions) I find I have more in common with them.

So bring the subs in their 40's on

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 4

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 3:08:35 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Lady Thornrose, what a great OP and welcome to the boards---My boy is the same age I am--when I was looking, I preferred 40 and up in My search for a few reasons, I have an unmentionable in My home and wanted a role model---would not have worked with someone much younger, and I wanted someone I could be with who had some of the same life experiences I did ( after all he can't stay chained up ALL the time! LOL)

he's 54 btw and does a damn fine job of pleasing this Mistress in and out of the bed!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 5

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 4:06:26 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

In the end, it comes down to personal taste and what we find desirable. For example, if high protocol is on your list of things you MUST have in a relationship, then there are going to be a lot who cannot, by default, make you happy. Be right or wrong, this means that you will eliminate the old who can no longer kneel or the infirm who can't kneel. It's the same thing with age. If you want someone who looks or acts a certain way, most likely, you'll be looking at a specific age range.

For me, age isn't an issue; anne is in her 50s, jason is 23 and I'm 35. However, I have things that I find unattractive, such as excess body hair on men (ok, on women, too LOL). I just don't like back hair...so, that eliminates some candidates that would otherwise do very well. Of course, I can put that aside depending on the KIND of relationship. A purely service relationship doesn't depend on sexual attraction.

We all have tastes and choices to make based on them. Some choose in a manner that we don't agree with, but they still have the right to that choice. Even the Female Supremacist lady, as crazy as we might think her to be!

Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 6

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 6:02:56 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline

Perhaps it's simply that the dommes making such requests are, themselves, young, and desire someone of roughly equivalent age?

I would think that as male subs in particular mature, they become more service-oriented (as opposed to purely sexually driven), more emotionally stable, and more financially secure. Most of these traits are generally perceived as desirable in a sub (or any partner for that matter).

Regards,
ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 7

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 6:23:31 PM

mantis65

Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

i think LadyThornrose Is talking about Dommes roughly the same age as the slaves they are getting rid of 40-60.

Personally I would want a Domme my own age I have talked to both younger and older Dommes that I soon realized I had nothing in common with. That’s not saying much most people my own age have little in common with me either.

There are always exceptions of course I keep an open mind about it.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 8

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 6:25:20 PM

Mastershideaway

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline

as a mature slave, and baby does mean mature … 50+ she can see no best before date on her. Papa hasn’t noticed one either, so baby is assuming that she is still quite capable of carrying out her slavery duties and adding to them as Papa finds new joys to bring to His baby.
baby isn’t getting older, she’s getting kinkier!!!

Papa's baby
Take her To The Limits
Take her To The Limit
Take her To The Limits
Many More Times

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 9

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 6:31:00 PM

LadyThornrose

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

In the end, it comes down to personal taste and what we find desirable…

Thank you for all of the great posts!

I agree with you, Fire. It all comes down to personal preferences. And isn't it great that there is so much variety? All the hairy boys can come to me and Fire can enjoy the smoother ones! :)

But I must say that I'm very pleased to hear from other Dommes who appreciate older subs and slaves.

_____________________________

Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 6:41:01 PM

LadyThornrose

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mantis65

i think LadyThornrose Is talking about Dommes roughly the same age as the slaves they are getting rid of 40-60.

Personally I would want a Domme my own age I have talked to both younger and older Dommes that I soon realized I had nothing in common with. That’s not saying much most people my own age have little in common with me either.

There are always exceptions of course I keep an open mind about it.

That's right, mantis. I'm referring to people of similar age. It seems that a 20 year old Domme may not want a 50 year old slave, but there seem to be a love of 50 year old Dommes that prefer much younger slaves. I was curious to see whether or not other people had noticed the same thing.

_____________________________

Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

(in reply to mantis65)

Post #: 11

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 6:47:12 PM

scifisub42

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

(snort) from what I've seen... Many so-called 'dominants' (at least males) want younger fem subs.. because the less experienced people will put up with their shit longer.... An older sub often has more of a clue, and won't tolerate the mistreatment of an idiot for long.

Subs don't have an expiration date, Their tolerance for BS does.

scifi.

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 12

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 6:53:32 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

i'm still under warranty so i should be good for another few years yet?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 13

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 7:21:54 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I had a young sub who was 21 years old, frankly he was a pain in the ass as he had no idea who he really was and what he wanted from life.
I've had a sub my own age which was cool and now I have one thats 8 years younger which rocks.
But I prefer men between the ages of 30-50 as I feel they truly know what they want (or should) and can committ themselves truly. I also have more in common with them so that works to a big advantage.

~Lashra

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 14

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 8:11:33 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

For me, the difficulty at my age has just been in finding someone. I think, like a lot of lifestyle submissives who aren't really all that excited about professional sessions, we drop out of the search because we're competing with younger men who pretend to know what we learned, but also have that youth thing going for them. I've had 45 year old women tell me I'm too old (I'm 41). After that kind of response, you get really tired of the search really fast and look for alternatives. We're at that age where a good book does wonders.

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 15

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 8:30:01 PM

MochaMistress

Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline

I prefer a sub close to my age 38 soon to be 39 or older. We need to have more in common outside of the home in order for my mind to stay entralled with them.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 16

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 8:35:43 PM

september

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/17/2006
Status: offline

I don't think subs have an expiration date. I think they have a age of maturity, where they come into there own, know what they really want. I think the young ones, the few I have come in contact with, seem more like subs that want to switch later. I say no one under the age of thirty, even if the Domme is under thirty.

_____________________________

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat. ~Rebecca West, 1913

(in reply to MochaMistress)

Post #: 17

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/22/2006 10:14:21 PM

LadyThornrose

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I've had 45 year old women tell me I'm too old (I'm 41). After that kind of response, you get really tired of the search really fast and look for alternatives. We're at that age where a good book does wonders.

That's a perfect example, littlesarbonn. It doesn't make sense to me, but I will fiercely defend anyone's right to their opinion. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't think I fit their mold. It's good to know how someone feels before either of you waste time.
Statistically... how can there possibly be enough non-professional Dommes for all the subs seeking non-professional Dommes, especially the ones of a certain age?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MochaMistress

I prefer a sub close to my age 38 soon to be 39 or older. We need to have more in common outside of the home in order for my mind to stay entralled with them.

I agree. I prefer someone who stimulates my brain. And for me, that is usually someone close to my age or older. I've noticed that some subs aren't interested in being mentally stimulating. They prefer being drones. I guess that works for some people. I know that I demand a great deal from my subs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: september

I don't think subs have an expiration date. I think they have a age of maturity, where they come into there own, know what they really want. I think the young ones, the few I have come in contact with, seem more like subs that want to switch later. I say no one under the age of thirty, even if the Domme is under thirty.

I can certainly understand that. In my experience, most younger "subs" aren't really subs - they just want their sexual fantasies fulfilled. But it isn't fair for me to say that is limited to young pseudo-subs. There are a variety of people in every age, every size, every orientation.

_____________________________

Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

(in reply to september)

Post #: 18

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/23/2006 12:05:01 AM

GoddessElectra

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyThornrose

Hi folks! I really hope this doesn't start a flame war. I apologize in advance if anyone is offended.

I’m very confused by the ageism in D/s and I wondered if someone could enlighten me. Why does 40 seem to be the age of forced retirement for submissives? I’ve noticed that many Dommes request young candidates, and I know several submissives that were “let go” by their Dommes after reaching a certain age.

Does that mean that most submissives stop feeling the desire to be submissive as they age? Or are they destined to spend the second half of their life without an owner? Do we need to establish a submissive retirement home where they can receive the spankings and enemas that they need? Or should they be the ones working at a retirement home, serving old and frail Dommes?

I have received wonderful service from subs of ages ranging from their 20’s through their 60’s. I guess I can understand that a very aged sub may not be able to provide certain physical services, or receive certain physical punishments – and I can see where Dommes looking for a “soulmate” may prefer a certain age range… but aren’t there benefits to older subs? They may be wiser, more experienced, more interesting to have a conversation with. They may be retired with more time and financial freedom. Is it because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? But when did 40 become old??? I’m 37 and I plan to be learning, growing and exploring for a LONG time. I consider 40 PRIME and 80 the beginning of old age.

I know that different people need different things… and I know that I may be atypical of most Dommes because my sexual/physical Domination is usually reserved for my (currently non-existent) primary partner, but I would really like to understand the reasons behind this.

Blessings,
Lady Thornrose

I personally as a Dominate Female prefer the subs over 35 yrs of age, I am 28 yrs old. I find that subs that are older are more honest and true. I find that most (not all) of the younger subs just want to play games, and tend to try and put their wants ahead of his/her Domme, knowing that is not the way it is suppose to be. Older subs IMHO know that the Domme comes first, but now and then I still find even older subs wanting to just play games and have no idea what the lifestyle is about, its all about the person in the end, has nothing to do with the age personally I feel. So as it was said in a previous post.... BRING ON THE OLDER SUBS/SLAVES!! I apperciate them.

_____________________________

~~Goddess is your BEGINNING & your END~~

(in reply to LadyThornrose)

Post #: 19

RE: Do subs have an expiration date? - 3/23/2006 3:16:50 AM

rohitsubbie

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline

Greetings to A/all

I think the MIstress/Sub relation is so pure that ..its above caste ..creed..age..

So lets not limit it to age....

(in reply to GoddessElectra)

Post #: 20

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