structure

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

structure

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Creative Writings >> structure

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

structure - 1/12/2010 8:01:34 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

Structure

Today a submissive who’s thinking I admire brought up the word “STRUCTURE” which got me to thinking that few knew what the hell she meant.

Structure isn’t a set of rules though structure can and usually contain a set of rules, which will differ from relationship to relationship. Nor is structure a cage or other physical entity.

Structure is a set of expectations established to guide the submissive’s conduct, for her to live up to.

Rules can’t be made to cover all possible contingencies and what is she to do when an uncovered contingency comes up, stop and just stand there? Structure would cover that by stipulating that she get in touch with him for guidance. In military terms structure may be akin to commanders intent.

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: structure - 1/13/2010 4:07:14 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

Rules can’t be made to cover all possible contingencies and what is she to do when an uncovered contingency comes up, stop and just stand there? Structure would cover that by stipulating that she get in touch with him for guidance. In military terms structure may be akin to commanders intent.

You may want to search for threads where tiered orders are mentioned. What you describe sounds like our system of tiered orders.

The most important comes first in the tier. When he is not around, I act according to these.

Basically:

1. Will it harm me/him?
2. Will it harm our loved ones?
3. Will it harm our circumstances (house, belongings, etc)?
4. Will it please him?
5. Will it displease him?

And so on and so on growing less and important.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: structure - 1/13/2010 5:14:09 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

i don't like many convoluted rules i like as few rules as possible and simple to understand with no ambiguity.

comprehensive but simple

hell i dont want to have to remember them all

so kiss

here is a link to some rules as an example of few but simple

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Orders_for_Sentries

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: structure - 1/14/2010 2:22:50 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

That's the beauty of it. The rules are exceedingly simple.

Because I know he values say... me being able to have a healthy relationship with my parents over his desire to have dinner perfectly on time, I don't need to consult him or any list of rules to know what to do if Mom calls and we get to chatting. I chat will my Mom till we are done, then I either figure out what I can in a short amount of time or grab some take-out that I know he will like.

It's just a matter of knowing him well enough to know what he values and be utterly confident that I know what he values more highly than something else. Because of that, we don't actually have a lot rules. It's simply a series of judgement calls. When I screw it up, I explain my reasoning and he explains what he would have wanted.

It's a constantly improving structure without a lot of fuss or rules.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: structure - 1/14/2010 9:50:39 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

That's the beauty of it. The rules are exceedingly simple.

Because I know he values say... me being able to have a healthy relationship with my parents over his desire to have dinner perfectly on time, I don't need to consult him or any list of rules to know what to do if Mom calls and we get to chatting. I chat will my Mom till we are done, then I either figure out what I can in a short amount of time or grab some take-out that I know he will like.

It's just a matter of knowing him well enough to know what he values and be utterly confident that I know what he values more highly than something else. Because of that, we don't actually have a lot rules. It's simply a series of judgement calls. When I screw it up, I explain my reasoning and he explains what he would have wanted.

It's a constantly improving structure without a lot of fuss or rules.

and i see nothing wrong with that, if it works it works and you can't argue with sucess

but in my relationships i'm rather pedantic, i absolutely want to know both minds are on the same page, my page lol

most can't operate that way and i know that in many ways i'm different

maybe i see it on two levels there are rules and influence, i'm into extremely deep mind knowledge for the lack of a better word at the moment

i want her to open up to the extent that to think out loud to me is as natural as thinking silently to herself

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 5