LadyEllen -> RE: Too Far? (1/13/2010 5:29:54 PM)
|
A major earthquake measuring 7.0 on the Richter Scale hit Haiti yesterday, with the epicentre 10 miles from the capital Port Au Prince. Thousands are believed to be dead with many more injured and displaced, although as luck would have it, the population is almost entirely black. The earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately $30 worth of damage, and there was catastrophic damage to hundreds of acres of crops, on which the locals depend for their income, “is the last thing we need right now”, commented a spokesman for the President, “exports of marijuana to the US are vital to pay for our import of weapons for our annual festival of coups and unrest”. Many locals were woken well before their afternoon mellow had worn off. One resident - a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Fetnat came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, FetnatetBelge and FetnatetInt slept through it all. I was still shaking when I rolled up the next morning". Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal. The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 boxes of Rizzla papers and 70,000 bongs to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, US passports, ammunition, and cigarette filters. HOW YOU CAN HELP This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Items most needed include national dress such as baseball caps, bras, thongs and tracksuits. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include all forms of high salt and sugar snack foods, (chicken flavoured preferred). If you would prefer to donate money, 25c buys a biro for filling in compensation forms; $5.00 buys chips and fizzy drinks for a family of 9. PLEASE do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of the neighbouring areas
|
|
|
|