gifts

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defiantbadgirl -> gifts (1/13/2010 6:45:53 AM)
As a general rule, gifts are supposed to come with no strings attached. Are there exceptions to this rule? If someone deliberately uses a gift they were given to non-consentually hurt the person who gave the gift to them, is it appropriate in that case to ask that the gift be returned? Why or why not?

sunshinemiss -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 6:47:10 AM)
Huh?

alittlegirllost -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 6:49:06 AM)
covers that "huh" and raises it with a "duh"

PamperPrincess -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 6:50:19 AM)
Um... I'm a little confused what is going on here. You cannot ask for a gift back, a gift is given without expecting anything in return. It's not a loan or some such thing.

alittlegirllost -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 6:50:20 AM)
kicks in a "wtf" as well

barelynangel -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:01:08 AM)
Do you mean if someone bought me a green diamond necklace and a week later i flung it at him and poked out his eye -- does he have a right to ask for it back. Well, sure why not. Doesn't mean they will get it back. But if its a D/s or M/s relationship and a Man gives a woman something and then determines she doesn't deserve it or misuses it in his mind-- i can see him taking it back until such time she shows she can handle it appropriately in his eyes.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:04:11 AM)
Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them to the curb?

LaTigresse -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:04:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PamperPrincess Um... I'm a little confused what is going on here. You cannot ask for a gift back, a gift is given without expecting anything in return. It's not a loan or some such thing. Except.........this is a forum on a website that supports the views of many people involved in power exchange relationships. For many of those people, what you are saying has nothing at all to do with the dynamic they share in their relationship. What you have expressed is a delightful, equal power, vanilla type mindset. Not all of us subscribe to that.

LaTigresse -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:05:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them the the curb? In my world, yes, absolutely the dominant has that right.

Jeffff -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:09:28 AM)
Agreed...... along with a kick to the curb. Buy your own fucking computer. Jeff

sunshinemiss -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:09:55 AM)
Anybody in a relationship has that ability, and it would be a natural reaction I think. HOWEVER, this is why I give no strings attached gifts... Once it is yours, it is yours.

xxblushesxx -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:10:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them the the curb? In my world, yes, absolutely the dominant has that right. But even you live in the real world, and if this truly were a gift, the sub could, if he or she chose to, take it to court and get the computer back. Although if someone were using something I gave them to cheat on me with, I think I'd take that chance!

sexyred1 -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:12:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel Do you mean if someone bought me a green diamond necklace and a week later i flung it at him and poked out his eye -- does he have a right to ask for it back. Not to derail but was distracted by the image of a green diamond necklace, how good it would go with my red hair and why I would ever fling it at someone and knock out their eye....it would have to be pretty bad to do so! [;)]

LaTigresse -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:14:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them the the curb? In my world, yes, absolutely the dominant has that right. But even you live in the real world, and if this truly were a gift, the sub could, if he or she chose to, take it to court and get the computer back. Although if someone were using something I gave them to cheat on me with, I think I'd take that chance! I would like to see her attempt to take it when I was finished with it. Because as long as the fucker is in my house, it is mine..........I think a toss out the window onto the patio 20 feet below would solve the whole problem quite well. I would gift her with the broom, dust pan and garbage bag she will use to pick it up and take along.

Jeffff -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:17:13 AM)
"oh look, your computer fell while I was cleaning" Jeff

LaTigresse -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:20:19 AM)
Exactamundo!

defiantbadgirl -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:28:35 AM)
Now what if the situation was reversed? What if a sub and a Dom/Domme were in a serious monogamous relationship, the sub was the gift giver, and the Dom/Domme first cheated, then dumped the sub after cheating, and was using the computer to look for replacements? Would the sub have the right to tell the Dom/Domme to get their own computer? Would that make a difference or is cheating equally bad in a monogamous relationship no matter if it's the Dom/Domme or sub that cheats?

xxblushesxx -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:28:55 AM)
lol the fact remains she could still recover. (or he, whatever) Although I think it would take balls for the dom or sub or whoever IS the one actually in question here to ask for the computer back.

xxblushesxx -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:30:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Now what if the situation was reversed? What if a sub and a Dom/Domme were in a serious monogamous relationship, the sub was the gift giver, and the Dom/Domme first cheated, then dumped the sub after cheating, and was using the computer to look for replacements? Would the sub have the right to tell the Dom/Domme to get their own computer? Would that make a difference or is cheating equally bad in a monogamous relationship no matter if it's the Dom/Domme or sub that cheats? This is what happened, right? It is equally bad. Legally, it is his computer, but I doubt he'd fight ya too much for it.

DarkSteven -> RE: gifts (1/13/2010 7:33:40 AM)
The Dom/me is in control. If he or she wants the computer, then that is that.

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