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whats at the top - 1/13/2010 5:33:32 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		what is at the top of your list for a dominant and whats at the bottom?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 5:35:40 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		top: a dominant personality...not sure what your'e looking for...top of what kind of list?

Bottom: likes the same music? I dunno..never thought about things at the bottom of a list..then again never really think of things at the bottom. I just go with the flow and if we connect then woohoo! I've struck gold since it's such a rare thing for me.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/13/2010 5:37:16 PM >

(in reply to osf)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 5:37:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't have a top beyond "a good match me". His having X quality could balence out him not having Y quality.

For example, Valyraen isn't into historical reenacting or costuming. But because he doesn't care if I go off for a weekend without him to enjoy my interests, that he isn't into it doesn't bother me that much.

However, if I were single and found an owner who was into these things as well and I could share that with him, that might balence out him not being a gamer. Which is something that Val is.

It's the same thing with BDSM and style of dominance. Something I dislike can be balenced out by something I love and therefore I don't thin I can make a list, or an effective one at any rate.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 5:42:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Bottom: likes the same music?


You don't mind never being allowed to listen to what you like? Never being able to pick a cd to listen to in the car, always having to listen to stuff you hate? Here it's higher ranked than that. It's something I really appreciate about The Man, that we share the same taste in music. That I don't have to rush and turn it off when he comes in. I stopped listening to music while married because he disliked what I liked. Rather than having to deal with his disapproval of the radio being set to a station he disliked and him having to change it, I gave up listening totally.

However, I need a high level of compatibility across the board. Morals and ethics, views towards parenting, kink, libido needs, and so on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 5:45:26 PM   
winterrose77


Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		Top: An in-depth and accurate knowledge of me as both a sub and a person, including how to dominate me in such a way as to intensify our bond and keep me happy in my role as the sub.

Bottom: The ability to do household chores without screwing them up if need be.

:P

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 5:49:16 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

You don't mind never being allowed to listen to what you like? Never being able to pick a cd to listen to in the car, always having to listen to stuff you hate?


To be honest...no..but then again I don't really hate much music except rap and He doesn't listen to that either...otherwise it's just music. It's just a tv channel..whatever. It's not a big deal and it's not like I can't listen to my own music or watch my own tv shows. We're not together 24/7. Even if we lived together we would still have times when we're doing things separately.

He likes to ski. I absolutely hate the cold. He goes off to enjoy it without me. I don't need to be compatible in every single thing in our lives.

Just so long as we're compatible in our morals, values, ethics, views on life, sexuality and oh yeah...physical appeal.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/13/2010 5:50:37 PM >

(in reply to winterrose77)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 5:50:36 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

what is at the top of your list for a dominant and whats at the bottom?


Top of the list is kindness... I love kindness in a dominant...

Bottom of the list is someone who thinks it is all about him.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to osf)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 6:06:47 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Julia.....waves......it has been, like forever

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 6:11:22 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Julia.....waves......it has been, like forever


It has been too long katy!


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 6:12:16 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Glad you are back!  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 6:35:08 PM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline 		At the top of the dominant is a great head of gorgeous hair. At the bottom are some fabulous, well-shined jackboots. She really doesn't need anything in-between.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 7:22:40 PM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		At the top: he must have a deep, passionate love for living life to its fullest. I couldn't be in a relationship with a curmudgeon.

At the bottom: there are plenty of things I don't really care about . . . how he dresses, his musical taste (and yes, I have gotten completely used to turning off my music and never getting to choose the CD in the car and it's ok with me), which sports he's into, how he wears his hair . . . the list could go on.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to Drifa)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 7:37:09 PM   
alittleevil


Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

At the top of the dominant is a great head of gorgeous hair. At the bottom are some fabulous, well-shined jackboots. She really doesn't need anything in-between.


Well this just made my lil, um...heart go pitty-pat! :-)

In answer to the OP:
At the top of the list is must be perceived by me as dominant. 
The bottom of the list would be any specific kink(s). Music is somewhere up near the top.

Best,
aj




_____________________________

Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 7:41:01 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		At the top is wisdom - not just knowledge or intelligence but the true wisdom to use them to bring out the best in a slave for his pleasure and her fulfillment.  A good sense of humor is a close second.  Honesty and integrity are also toprunners.  He must be both a good listener and interpreter. 

If by bottom you mean the least important thing, I don't care his financial status.  That means nothing to me.  Everything I need is in his actions.


_____________________________



(in reply to lucylucy)
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RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 10:03:03 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		At the top i'd have 2 things tied for first place:
-A truly dominant personality (dominant in the vanilla world as well as in relationships)
-A powerful imagination that allows Her to keep the relationship fresh and to continually find new ways to penetrate deeper into my psyche..

At the bottom i'd list selfishness.  i've experienced Dommes who truly believe that it's all about them.  The reality is that even in a D/s relationship, BOTH parties' needs must be met.  If it's only about one person, then the other person will ultimately find the relationship unfulfilling and leave.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: whats at the top - 1/13/2010 10:10:26 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Top of my list in admirable qualities I would look for an a dominant would be:
The ability to connect with me, commit to us and control himself, as well as possessing a sense of humor and a generous nature.

I dunno.  Someone I could respect - in and out of the relationship.

I don't have a bottom of the barrel option.  If I ever have to dredge the bottom of the barrel for a companion, I'd just head to the animal shelter and rescue me a dog.  I can always train a dog to commit to me and control himself. 

WinD


(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: whats at the top - 1/14/2010 12:06:01 AM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		At the bottom..

1. Not wanting me to send him a ticket to the U.S. where we will live happily ever after
2. Not wanting me to send money because (fill in the blank__________________)
3. Not wanting an instant sub
4. Not wanting me to pay for everything including his education, rent, etc.

At the top:

someone that has principles, scruples, is fun to be with, says what he means and means what he says, is polite, treats me well, romantic, likes to cook, likees to travel, is good to his family, loves to laugh and doesn't take himself seriously...
the same things that i want to offer Him..

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: whats at the top - 1/14/2010 12:17:13 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Good question, albeit not easy to answer. Aquatic nailed it overall with "a good match for me", but I would say that the first thing that catches my eye (that's top in a way, I guess) is self confidence. Not the brash, attention getting behaviour of a braggart, but the quiet control of one who doesn't need to make himself the center of attention in order to get what he wants. When this quality is combined with an awesome sense of humour, I'm pretty much hooked.

On the low side, I couldn't care less what sports he likes to watch on TV (unless it is golf... there's something inherently wrong with watching golf on TV )
*waits to get banhammered by TV golf watching Doms*






_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: whats at the top - 1/14/2010 1:06:17 AM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		Top:   the "presence".   Without that, there is nothing else to  a Master  worth getting to know.

Bottom:   which way He likes the toilet paper to come off the roll.

one cares  about everything in between at the same level because they are all His preference, even if they seem to have a different spot on the Importance list.    If it didn't make the list, it's something one really doesn't care about enough as to give an opinion.


_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: whats at the top - 1/14/2010 2:09:41 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Top: it is of paramount importance that he wants me
       very closely followed by that he must be able to make me cum

      then there is all the rest: handsome and rich with impeccable taste and all that

      and about at the bottom is that it would be nice if he is perfect



(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 20
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