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[Poll]

Did you have to run the gauntlet?


Yes - OMG EVERYONE WAS SUCH AN ASSHOLE
  7% (6)
No - What the hell are you talking about?
  40% (34)
People had to warm up to me
  20% (17)
I had to warm up to the atmosphere on the boards
  19% (16)
I don't know. I'm just clicking boxes cause I can.
  13% (11)


Total Votes : 84
(last vote on : 1/24/2010 12:52:35 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 8:59:50 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Stella... is that link going to break my sleep-deprived brain?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 10:38:22 AM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		After recent events I have come to the conclusion that I have no clue and no glue too
SOO I just clicked the box becauce I could .....
Yeah I'm having one of those week again

uuhmm excuse me which way to the whiner thread ??

_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide


.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 11:18:23 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

I've said it before and I'll say it again that I have NEVER had a problem on the boards. There was the rumor mill once. That had more to do with me being silly about a subject, the group joking along, and then some taking it seriously. I clarified my position and all was well with the universe.

I do see some folks go through an ackward adjustment to joining the boards here. Mostly it seems to be due to newness to all things BDSM, etc or showing a definite lacking in the character department. The first one I find that most will overcome with time provided they can manage to not try to pretend to know everything and approach things with an open mind and the ability to learn. The other is a group of people who usually form our lovable "heel" contingency (folks that we know aren't quite right, but it is fun having them around after they grow on us a bit) and the rest just eventually go away.

I find that it is more an issue that people have to really be careful what they discuss here. There are a great many fetishes and practices that are "community taboo" as well as one that just spawn ridicule. Serious discussion on a great many subjects never happens. This is part of why we get the same old subjects rehashed to infinity. If a subject is too rare, extreme, or absolute, then it is not met well here. There are some subject I just won't post on this site. There's nothing particularly wrong with that, but it can be a veritable landmine to new people coming in. They don't know about these "no discuss" zones and inevitably will step in it.

I think treading cautiously, being friendly and open, and keeping frustrations and grudges short goes a long way in helping a new person settle in successfully. A lot of it is common sense and social aptitude. Some of it also is personality and interests. All in all, we could do to be more accepting here, but we also are not really doing as bad at it as some new posters would have us believe. Sometimes it's us. Most of the time it is just them. It doesn't mean that, over time, the person can't meet with some level of acceptance, but that it is upon them to make those moves and not everyone else around them. If it seems like it really is us, I think from now on I will try and speak up and say so when I think someone is being unfairly bullied. I think it is a good self examination for each of us individually and as a group to consider on occasion.

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 11:30:31 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline 		I was either totally ignored or hated and despised. My words were not good enough. Every question I had was met with contempt and total disgust.

I sucked it up. I chose my words carefully and wrote them out in complete sentences with much thought given to clarity so as not to cause confusion. After I submitted that... my very first post... the hatred faded away.

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 11:39:30 AM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't have to run the gauntlet.

What I did have to do was understand that the "flavor" of the CM board differed from my previous experience on other message boards.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:11:06 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sappatoti

I was either totally ignored or hated and despised. My words were not good enough. Every question I had was met with contempt and total disgust.

I sucked it up. I chose my words carefully and wrote them out in complete sentences with much thought given to clarity so as not to cause confusion. After I submitted that... my very first post... the hatred faded away.


Sappa -
Is this true?  In the interest of fairness, I've never experienced you in any way except full of intellect and creativity.  I enjoy your posts immensely. 

Since my own experience was somewhat similar to yours (as you describe it), I wonder if we are tough here?  Maybe we are hard on newbies... hmmmm.


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:21:05 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It seems to have been a topic of late so, in this incredibly unoffical and inaccurate poll, I'm asking: When you joined, did you feel like you had to run a gauntlet of baseless attacks?

Personally, I don't think I did. When I first joined, I got into a few spats - usually because I was new to BDSM and didn't have the knowledge I do now. Those were contained in the thread and didn't spread to others. I never really felt like I had to prove myself or that I was being tested. I knew that I wanted to stick around and make friends and I wanted to show that. That's pretty far from having to prove myself to the "in club" though. IMHO anyway.

So... I'm curious... how many of us feel like there is some sort of unoffical gauntlet? If there is one, I certainly don't know about it. Which I guess means I'm not in the group.

i answered "People had to warm up to me" but i really feel like it was 50/50, people were assholes, and people had to warm up to me/ and me them. What i encountered, and still do, is the "nit picking" of words and /or sentences. Yes there are times when an honest call for clarity comes up, but i'm talking about, the ones that pick apart what you say just to be asses.


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:23:24 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sappatoti

I was either totally ignored or hated and despised. My words were not good enough. Every question I had was met with contempt and total disgust.

I sucked it up. I chose my words carefully and wrote them out in complete sentences with much thought given to clarity so as not to cause confusion. After I submitted that... my very first post... the hatred faded away.
yep...this would describe my first few months here at collarme.


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:41:32 PM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		nope. there was this dragon and this gargoyle that protected me from the mean ones.

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub


(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:41:52 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		You missed out an option I can click, aqua - 'it doesn't matter'.
If one is comfortable with who they are, whether one is accepted or has to run some sort of gauntlet, is irrelevant.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:47:03 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If there was a gauntlet, I must have snuck in the back door.

Orrrrrrrrrrrrr I was just oblivious to it....

I have never felt ganged up on or bullied. What I see is people bringing shit down on their own heads.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:47:03 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

You missed out an option I can click, aqua - 'it doesn't matter'.
If one is comfortable with who they are, whether one is accepted or has to run some sort of gauntlet, is irrelevant.

the.dark.

Hey Lady!... For me, its more like i am fairly comfortable with myself, but i am still somewhat effected by how people view me, and speak to me.


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:48:10 PM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline 		Anyone who paid attention to me when I was new was really nice, I never had any problems. But then again I don't start loads of my own threads or say anything particularly contraversial, so I guess I mostly stay under the radar.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:51:14 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

You missed out an option I can click, aqua - 'it doesn't matter'.
If one is comfortable with who they are, whether one is accepted or has to run some sort of gauntlet, is irrelevant.

the.dark.

Hey Lady!... For me, its more like i am fairly comfortable with myself, but i am still somewhat effected by how people view me, and speak to me.



I can comprehend that.  We all have shadows.
For me though, it is about standing in the light rather than following and/or being shaded by others shadows.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:53:19 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

You missed out an option I can click, aqua - 'it doesn't matter'.
If one is comfortable with who they are, whether one is accepted or has to run some sort of gauntlet, is irrelevant.

the.dark.

Hey Lady!... For me, its more like i am fairly comfortable with myself, but i am still somewhat effected by how people view me, and speak to me.



I can comprehend that.  We all have shadows.
For me though, it is about standing in the light rather than following and/or being shaded by others shadows.

the.dark.

Hmmm... i'm not that brave, or confident. i smile when i see women that are!


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:53:29 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afterforever

Anyone who paid attention to me when I was new was really nice, I never had any problems. But then again I don't start loads of my own threads or say anything particularly contraversial, so I guess I mostly stay under the radar.



We could fix that for you.... *puts on my mean lady hat.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to afterforever)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:56:27 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Gauntlet?



_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 12:58:23 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

We could fix that for you.... *puts on my mean lady hat.

You totally should at least have up to 3.14159265 in your title.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 1:31:08 PM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss



We could fix that for you.... *puts on my mean lady hat.


I can take anything you've got, lady.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Did you have to run the gauntlet? - 1/14/2010 1:35:28 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afterforever
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

We could fix that for you.... *puts on my mean lady hat.

I can take anything you've got, lady.

*pulls up a chair*


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to afterforever)
Profile   Post #: 40
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