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Best ways to meet others - 1/15/2010 8:58:48 PM

blkswitch

Posts: 45
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline

I was in the chat room and asked a question and was laughed out of the room.

So, I'll "safely" ask here without being put down (I hope).

What is the best way to meet a Daddy Dom?

There are many couples and men on Collarme that are fictitious and are not at all who they seem.

I've spoken to one person who seems okay.

I'm not good at asking questions (in real life, nor online).

So, to be on the VERY SAFE side.

How should I go about this (leaving "natural" instincts out of it all together).

Hope to get the answers and not be made to look silly here also.

Thank you.

Post #: 1

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/15/2010 9:13:02 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

No different from vanilla, look for someone who accepts you as you are for you, who supports you rather than picks on you, at you, or tries to put you down or tear you down, and who is as open with you as they allow you to be with them.

Look out for authenticity and personal integrity. Without these two you're generally snookered.

_____________________________

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also Facebook
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(in reply to blkswitch)

Post #: 2

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/15/2010 9:45:00 PM

transensualist

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline

I try to meet them in person in a very public space. A number of people can use the online medium to create the people they wish they were and not represent themselves as they are. I find meeting in person can crack away a lot of false layers.

I recommend getting MagicJack and then forwarding that number to your cell or other number. The MagicJack becomes a throwaway number for only $20/year.

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 3

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/15/2010 10:36:53 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Google local BDSM events & munchs...they have them here in Ottawa so they likely have them pretty much any decent sized city.

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(in reply to transensualist)

Post #: 4

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 6:58:44 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

quote:

What is the best way to meet a Daddy Dom?

Best way? Dunno. Don't have the statistics. And, your mileage may vary based on sex, location, and desire.

Some good ways in general? Well, for starters, you've begun an account here. That's a start. I'll wager your mail is already filling up. One problem with CM is that it's world wide; so, that's great for melting-pot ideas, but, not as great for meeting local friends. Since you're female, you'll be inundated with responses already (whether or not you meant your post as a disguised ad); but the problem will be picking out the wheat from the chaff.

Same problem elsewhere, e.g., if you placed an ad on Craigslist, except the problem is picking out the wheat from the spam. Again you'll be inundated, but, at least the real responders to your ad will likely be local (assuming you're in an area that CL has a location for).

Better yet, whether on CM or CL, ignore all the incoming requests (only because 1 out of some large number is actually worth your while) and concentrate on answering ads by Daddy Dom's. You'll find them. They're out there. For every kink a woman has, there are a dozen men just waiting to fulfill your need within a mile of where you reside.

In summary, if you post an ad, your problem will be weeding out the dregs from the spoils; while searching for existing ads allows you a measure of selectivity that I wager will be more efficient at getting you your needed daily kink! Good luck.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 5

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 8:18:04 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Meet prospective mates quickly worked well for me - and i met at Barnes and Noble - very neutral location with a cafe so you can have something to do with your hands while talking. If what you want is a daddy dom put it in your profile, that way the ones that reply hopefully are on the same page and when you meet, what you are looking for is compatibility.

You also might go outside of your comfort zone as far as age/wealth/job/looks . You might be surprised at what you find.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 6

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 8:52:14 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Online is an okay way of meeting people but you have to weed out a lot of junk to get to something good. If you go to a munch or event you'll at least know the people you meet are reading the same book you are reading. The very best way to meet people is to network through the people you meet at munches and events. Someone always knows someone who is looking and is a great guy.

(in reply to blkswitch)

Post #: 7

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 10:35:47 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch
What is the best way to meet a Daddy Dom?

Since you want to filter out the vanilla world, best place would be in BDSM societies, clubs, events and dating services. A simple web search should provide many resources like:

STL3
http://www.stl3.com/stl3_home.htm

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to blkswitch)

Post #: 8

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 10:37:29 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch

I was in the chat room and asked a question and was laughed out of the room.

So, I'll "safely" ask here without being put down (I hope).

What is the best way to meet a Daddy Dom?

There are many couples and men on Collarme that are fictitious and are not at all who they seem.

I've spoken to one person who seems okay.

I'm not good at asking questions (in real life, nor online).

So, to be on the VERY SAFE side.

How should I go about this (leaving "natural" instincts out of it all together).

Hope to get the answers and not be made to look silly here also.

Thank you.

there are more daddy doms than there are daddy doms that can last

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to blkswitch)

Post #: 9

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 10:38:23 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

OMG!!!! RS!!!!!!

It's been a while. Good to see you here. I link to your booklist thread (when I answer questions of new people) on a regular basis.

I hope you're well.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 10

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 10:40:27 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch

I was in the chat room and asked a question and was laughed out of the room.

So, I'll "safely" ask here without being put down (I hope).

What is the best way to meet a Daddy Dom?

There are many couples and men on Collarme that are fictitious and are not at all who they seem.

I've spoken to one person who seems okay.

I'm not good at asking questions (in real life, nor online).

So, to be on the VERY SAFE side.

How should I go about this (leaving "natural" instincts out of it all together).

Hope to get the answers and not be made to look silly here also.

Thank you.

there are more daddy doms than there are daddy doms that can last

Now you have me wondering what the half-life of a Daddy Dom is?

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/16/2010 10:41:20 AM >

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 11

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 10:56:22 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
Now you have me wondering what the half-life of a Daddy Dom is?

Daddy Dom...
Dd, that’s number 69 on the elemental table right?
Half life of 6 million years (or 6 months) I think.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 12

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 1:42:57 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

Rule #1. if you want to find a dominant that you LIKE, you need to be the one searching.

Too many subs waste their life waiting for the dominant to approach them. Then you end up with a dom that likes you rather than a dom you like.

Yes, it may not feel submissive to approach them, but do it submissively.

Something along the lines of ...

hi sir. I hope you don't mind me asking for attention. i know that someone as wonderful as you is most likely taken. but could you please take a look at my profile and tell me how to attract a man like you?

Will do wonders for attracting the right dominant. I know it would work on me if a woman sent me that email

< Message edited by StrongSpirit -- 1/16/2010 1:43:52 PM >

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 13

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 2:04:18 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

Get out & meet real people at munches & classes. That's my number one piece of advise on the subject.

Become a 'regular' at as many relevant BDSM events as you can get to. My experience is that there's a fair amount of turnover, especially of single men seeking, at kink doings, & that frequenting the same munch or play parties can yield an array of different people over time . .. ..

Classes & workshops are probably the easiest venue to talk to strangers, for me. (I'm more of a recovering shy person who can fake the extroverted, social-butterfly thing really well, fwiw.)

At a minimum, at real-life events there won't be any doubts as to whether the other person is 'real' & etc, lol . . . . .. Plus it's a zillion times easier, for me, to figure out if the other smells right, we have 'chemistry', & etc etc . ... .. . As opposed to online acquaintances . . . ..

I like online venues more for their pen-pal / making friends / learning how other people do this stuff potential than for their mate-finding possibilities. & that other site is the one that the vast over-whelming majority of people I meet at munches & etc have accounts with, & it's where a significant chunk of real-life organizing & event communication & etc is going on. (The Fet one, lol . . . . . OP, I'll cmail ya the link . . . . . . )

Also, I heartily concur with what StrongSpirit wrote above about the need for submissives to approach the dominants they're interested in, for a variety of reasons. Mostly, based on the principle that it's easier to get what one asks for rather than make the universe play guessing games, lol.

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.

The Verbossinator

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 14

RE: Best ways to meet others - 1/16/2010 2:23:20 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch

I was in the chat room and asked a question and was laughed out of the room.

So, I'll "safely" ask here without being put down (I hope).

What is the best way to meet a Daddy Dom?

There are many couples and men on Collarme that are fictitious and are not at all who they seem.

I've spoken to one person who seems okay.

I'm not good at asking questions (in real life, nor online).

So, to be on the VERY SAFE side.

How should I go about this (leaving "natural" instincts out of it all together).

Hope to get the answers and not be made to look silly here also.

Thank you.

State on your profile that you are looking for a Daddy straight away.
Then state the age you are as a 'little' ot a 'daughter'.
Be clear: Daddy and Mommy dynamics are still often confused with pedo even in certain areas of the so called kink world.
Your profile (with all due respect) does not make this clear.

_____________________________

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to blkswitch)

Post #: 15

RE: Best ways to meet others - 2/11/2010 7:21:05 PM

blkswitch

Posts: 45
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline

PRINSEXX: Thank you...you may be right about my profile. I'll have to look at it.

Strong spirit: I like the question. Thank you!!! I think i'll start asking that.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 16

RE: Best ways to meet others - 2/11/2010 7:33:30 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

I always carry a section of a milk carton around with me. I kinda cut a rectangle out of it and when I see a potential sub or slave I hold up the milk carton and see how she looks through the rectangle. That is my 100% fool proof lust match device.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to blkswitch)

Post #: 17

RE: Best ways to meet others - 2/11/2010 8:08:53 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

Rule #1. if you want to find a dominant that you LIKE, you need to be the one searching.

Too many subs waste their life waiting for the dominant to approach them. Then you end up with a dom that likes you rather than a dom you like.

Yes, it may not feel submissive to approach them, but do it submissively.

Something along the lines of ...

hi sir. I hope you don't mind me asking for attention. i know that someone as wonderful as you is most likely taken. but could you please take a look at my profile and tell me how to attract a man like you?

Will do wonders for attracting the right dominant. I know it would work on me if a woman sent me that email

Yer kidding me ...some fucking moron just sent me that EXACT email. I checked out her profile and did not tell her how i felt. But I will here.... "Lose 20 errr 40 POUNDS and then maybe we might have something in common. As I don't want/respect someone who does not have the desire to look after themselves"

If you wanna be overweight rock on with your bad self. But if you dont have the discipline/control your weight, what in the world makes you think that anyone else would have the desire to control you???

Motown BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 18

RE: Best ways to meet others - 2/11/2010 8:21:59 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

Rule #1. if you want to find a dominant that you LIKE, you need to be the one searching.

Too many subs waste their life waiting for the dominant to approach them. Then you end up with a dom that likes you rather than a dom you like.

Yes, it may not feel submissive to approach them, but do it submissively.

Something along the lines of ...

hi sir. I hope you don't mind me asking for attention. i know that someone as wonderful as you is most likely taken. but could you please take a look at my profile and tell me how to attract a man like you?

Will do wonders for attracting the right dominant. I know it would work on me if a woman sent me that email

Yer kidding me ...some fucking moron just sent me that EXACT email. I checked out her profile and did not tell her how i felt. But I will here.... "Lose 20 errr 40 POUNDS and then maybe we might have something in common. As I don't want/respect someone who does not have the desire to look after themselves"

If you wanna be overweight rock on with your bad self. But if you dont have the discipline/control your weight, what in the world makes you think that anyone else would have the desire to control you???Motown BadOne

StrongSpirit: No woman in her right mind would send an email like that. No woman with any self esteem would send an email like that. That does not project confidence; it projects desperation. I am hoping that you were being sarcastic and if you were not, I feel badly for you and the poor women who write you.

SailingBum: is that necessary to be so nasty to someone who had the nerve to write you? You are entitled to any physical preference as we all are, but to be that vile is really not cool.

Shakes head....

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/11/2010 8:22:44 PM >

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 19

RE: Best ways to meet others - 2/11/2010 8:35:59 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Rule #1. if you want to find a dominant that you LIKE, you need to be the one searching.
Too many subs waste their life waiting for the dominant to approach them. Then you end up with a dom that likes you rather than a dom you like.

This isn't bad advice, I will write to a Dom if I like their profile or, more likely, if their forum posts interest me.

quote:

Yes, it may not feel submissive to approach them, but do it submissively.
Something along the lines of ... hi sir. I hope you don't mind me asking for attention. i know that someone as wonderful as you is most likely taken. but could you please take a look at my profile and tell me how to attract a man like you?
Will do wonders for attracting the right dominant. I know it would work on me if a woman sent me that email

Ummm...... oh, HELL no!

Sorry SS, but advising a sub to approach someone she doesn't know from Adam this way is not a good idea.

quote:

If you wanna be overweight rock on with your bad self. But if you dont have the discipline/control your weight, what in the world makes you think that anyone else would have the desire to control you???

What, you missed the last fat thread and were feeling deprived?

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

Post #: 20

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