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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 12:27:33 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		there is gaining experience and using experience, though both can happen at the same time

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 12:59:00 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		When I was 13, I wanked in bed at night dreaming of Brooke Shields, doing my bidding and showing me what came between her and her Calvins.

So, since I am now 49, I figure I got 36 years of experience.

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 1:05:51 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		lol

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 1:30:45 PM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		Yeah what is counted as experience. BDSM is as we all should know a wide subject. It is nearly 40 years since i realised that my sexuality was not mainstream, but the skils i have got in those years is purely in to my own little definition of what i find the fun bit. So in that minor niche i would call myself highly experienced. For the rest i am certainly a newbi and more than likely it is only a purely teoretical interest as i never really wanted to go there.
Funny enough I have the same kind of thing in my chosen profession. Expert on a very narrow field.
Compare it to a mechanic. He can be a superb tecnician on aeroengines with all the knowledge in the world on GE turbofans. Ask him about your run of the mill car today and he might not know anything about it. He has never been interested in them.

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:02:59 PM   
LadyOddsworth


Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2010
Status: offline 		Speaking as a novice, for me, experience means actually doing it. Gaining knowledge through things like talking to others, participating on message boards, reading, is all great and very important, but is not "real time" doing.



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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:12:12 PM   
agirl


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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


So... what constitutes "experience" in your opinion?  Does online count for anything?  Attending play parties?  Studying the lifestyle online?  How about down time, such as a period of D/s inactivity sandwiched by two relationships?



No-one is *experienced* in *me*(apart from my owner) online or offline. It's subjective enough for it to be of no significance to me at all. Any experience someone has, has the potential to be incredibly worthwhile or useless, depending on circumstances and who they're dealing with. Anyone that recognises that would be be streets ahead, with me.

agirl





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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:13:00 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		This is why I don't quantify experience. It's so ridiculous! And plus, someone could be doing something for 10 years and doing it wrong! I'm much more interested in competencies than years experience ;-)

But in all honesty, I just simply say that I am experienced. The amount isn't important. My words and the way I state what I want, what I know and what I still want to learn is more telling than an arbitrary number.

Heck, when I was about 7 I made one boy make another boy eat sand for me if he wanted to be my "boyfriend". So I guess I have 30 years experience now!

- LA

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:15:21 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
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Status: offline 		I made mine eat mud pie! hehe Around the same age. lol

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:19:22 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
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Status: offline 		There's also the difference between *having experienced* something , and *being experienced in*.

People decide for themselves what they are experienced in ....... and other people decide how effective it's been ..lol

agirl

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:40:40 PM   
AnimusRex


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I made mine eat mud pie! hehe Around the same age. lol


Hell I am a growed up man, and I would eat a mud pie for some poon.

Not offering. Just sayin'.

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:42:18 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

There's also the difference between *having experienced* something , and *being experienced in*.

People decide for themselves what they are experienced in ....... and other people decide how effective it's been ..lol

agirl



Exactly. That is what I mean by competency. In human resources, when talent is assessed, they are assed on knowledge, skills and abilities rather than experience. Of course, experience can definitely help develop the three.

- LA

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:43:53 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I made mine eat mud pie! hehe Around the same age. lol


Yeah... there was no chance for those boys in the playground, now was there? ;-)

- LA

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:49:13 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Most people here have years and years of experience. The only thing they haven't had is another person to do it with.

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 2:58:55 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		As I see it, there is having knowledge and having practical experience. The experience is gained by actually having some degree of participation in WIITWD whether it falls within the D/s area or the kink y side of things. A person can have knowledge from reading every book on WIITWD and not the experience to say "yes...now I know what that means or feels like." The crux is having the ability to take that knowledge and apply it to personal experience wisely.

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 3:26:54 PM   
Ravensnake


Posts: 146
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		In my view its not a question of years spent in the scene but rather of real life experiences. I sometimes have on my profile 'experienced bullwhip recipient' because thats what I am. Those who know me, know what I can handle and that I can back it up.

Reven

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 3:42:55 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		When it comes to seeking a Dom, I count real-life relationships only - both those with an authority transfer as well as vanilla. I like to see what interactions he's had that have made him into the man he is today. I am one of those who wouldn't enter into a D/s relationship with someone who has never been in one, so online-only or research or whatever- that wouldn't be enough for me. I need to know that he's sure of what it is he wants and needs.

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 3:56:27 PM   
Pudicitia


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/13/2009
Status: offline 		Experience for me would be a combination of practical hands on application and participation in some form of theoretical learning. Any idiot given a needle could work out how it worked eventually, and given some degree of common sense would be able to do it with relative safety. I wouldn't however call someone an "experience" sharps player unless they had studied some theory and some practice.

In a vanilla work context I am frequently confronted with statements along the lines as "I have 20 years experience in ________" and then am presented with someone who doesn't seem to know what they are doing, or can't do it very well. As someone with only 5 years experience in my line of work I lead a team of people who are close to retirement and it is usually me coaching them on how to do their job. 20 years experience at something can mean 20 years of experimenting and experiencing new things, or 20 years of doing exactly what you did in the first year and still making all the same mistakes as you did the first time.

I am only 26, I have been out in the scene since I was about 18 and would consider myself a pretty experienced bottom after 8 pretty intensive years- not just in terms of what I have had done to me but what I have learned/observed about along the way.  I also feel that I have a fair grounding in the safety/theory/practicalities in many forms of play as a top even though my RT scene based experience as a top is very limited. From my experiences as a bottom, and from the educational aspect of the lifestyle I have been lucky enough to be a part of I would probably make a technically better top that someone who has been making it up as they go along for 10 years.

For example one of my all time favourite toys is a flogger, I love flogging and have had one used on me countless times. I have never used a flogger on anyone else in a scene but I have participated in more impact play seminars/workshops/lectures than I care to remember and have used them on other people there.  I can swing a flogger in a variety of different ways on a variety of different body parts and know how to safely administer a flogging, clean and maintain a flogger and probably have a pretty fair chance of making one myself.

I often think that some of the "experienced players" I see out and about would struggle to say the same with any degree of integrity.


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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 4:46:55 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Experience for me is face to face, skin on skin contact. It has to be physical. Not online.

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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 7:38:41 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

So... what constitutes "experience" in your opinion?



Life....seriously. Living life and having learned things in life in general.

I really could care less about what people say about their "bdsm" or "lifestyle" experience. It all really mans nothing to me.

If you don't have life experience then imo you really aren't going to be compatible on any level whatsoever with me.


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RE: What do you count as experience? - 1/17/2010 10:38:06 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


So... what constitutes "experience" in your opinion?  Does online count for anything?  Attending play parties?  Studying the lifestyle online?  How about down time, such as a period of D/s inactivity sandwiched by two relationships?



Experience in what? Absent any context, it's a completely meaningless term. I can't think of any reason at all that some stranger's "experience" would even be remotely interesting to me. Except that to the extent that it seems important to them, it would probably be a pretty good indicator that I'd rather they remained strangers.


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