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peppermint -> RE: I need Help Please (1/17/2010 5:52:08 PM)
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quote:
Thank you all for your input no matter how negative and unhelpful..
Okay, I'll give you advice even if I think no self respecting submissive would look twice at you.
You are already looking here. You need to belong to and network through alt, bondage, fetlife, match, adultfriendfinders, etc. You need to make sure those in your local community know you are looking. You need to attend some larger events, make friends with the people there, and network through those new friends. If you are looking for a bi submissive then your local swinging groups should be a gold mine of possibilities. The local bar might work or a church organization. The more people you meet and socialize with, the better your chance of finding the unicorn. Also, remember, that fat chick at munch might know the perfect submissive for you, however, if you've treated her like shit she will pass on her information to someone else. In other words, IF you are really certain and sure you want another, then brown nosing is not a bad idea. If the result is not worth brown nosing, then just forget a big portion of your possible network.
Then you need to make a clean concise list of what you have to offer a submissive because in the searching for a unicorn market, it's a buyers' market. That you are thin is NOT one of your attributes. What can you offer in your home that she can not find in a home with the other 500 couples who also want the unicorn? I'm talking about personality, charisma, that sort of thing. Could you, would you offer educational benefits?
Now, make up a list of what you expect from her. Will she be part of the family and live with you? Will she have an outside job? If she does have a job, how will her money be handled? Will she pay her fair share of household expenses or will she give everything to you? If she is to not work outside the home, are you financially capable of supporting her and her medical and retirement needs? If she is younger, how will you handle an unexpected pregnancy? Will she be presented to family and friends as your partner or will she be the roommate in the basement? How will sleeping arrangements be met? Will you all share one room? Will the two females trade time in bed with the Dominant? Will she have a room of her own and be expected to sleep there? When she has a crisis in her life, and your wife is also needy, how will you divide up your limited time? In case you have to let her go, either because she wishes it or you wish it, how are you planning on assisting her in the transition?
Just a few things you need to think about. Also, it might take YEARS to find your unicorn. Many have looked for years and not found a suitable one yet. There is no reason to expect that yours would drop out of the sky in just a year.
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