Jasmyn
Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
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quote:
My burn out is about being a commodity.
MizSuz a few years ago I had a similar experience of burn out from been largely seen as a commodity and ignorant scene/lifestyle judgements about pro dominas and gave up offering professional sessions for some time.
What got me with clientel was not the randoms who spied an advert in the paper or happened across a website and thought woah could give that a go, or passing visitors or tourists looking for a quick thrill or married/partnered clients getting a fetish or discipline need met when opportunity allowed (infact some of my most memorable scenes have been with clients in this demographic), but rather the feeling was most apparent from lifestylers who begged to submit and harped all the platitudes about serving and service and respect for the 'Mistress', and not just any 'Mistress', but me in particular. Despite their words of endearments were very much of the attitude they were 'buying' my time and if I just happened to not charge them it would somehow be more real. I don't like dishonesty and I find nothing more dishonest than a boy who says he seeks to serve when a more honest request would simply be 'Ma'am may I please book a session with you'.
lol then there were the usual hand on it vanillas screeching "what no sex with that? Can't we just fuck?" that drove me nuts..pubs closing time was the worse for 4 am drunken enquires to whether I did out calls.
To be fair I think there was more to my burn out than just all things pro and over some time I withdrew from the scene and pretty much kink in general and found a way to ground myself on many levels. Once I felt centred so to speak I gladly picked up where I left off.
One of the things that occurred to me during my enforced hiatus was the perception professional domination is somehow an oxymoron...which on the surface it can appear that way...but I tend to think it comes down to the perception of those paying and the attitude of those being paid. For sure if some guy paid me saying I want a,b,c and I gave him a,b,c then I'm not domming him, I'm going through the motions giving him exactly what he wants. But for a great deal of cliental it is not about 'sessions' or 'scenes' but rather 'mindset' and how well I can get under their skin and make them not just be subservient but feel subservient, a feeling that stays with them for days after, hoping wishing craving to be on their knees for me again.
For some yes they lament its not real if they're paying for it but I had had ongoing relationships with a number of professional clients and still have with some of them today who would never consider seeing me without bringing me some kind of gift or tribute. Their respect is inherent, not just for the d/s reality they want with me, but that they consider my time to be of value and worthy of reward. They want to be told when they are required to serve, where and how. They want to be trained and have their progress measured. They want to be the favoured one I call when I want a lightbulb changed. They want to wear my collar.
So I've said it before and I'll say it again, a professional (actually lets state it how it is), a commercial arrangement does not negate a real d/s exchange.
Brightspot, no history in the sex industry here..my move to professional services was due to my life at the time been pretty much submersed in all things bdsm & fetish. I helped begin and ultimately ended up running for three years a bdsm support group in a large city organising play parties, education worksops, munches etc and was ending up taking a lot of time off work to arrange group things, meeting newbies, having people to my home, etc. The professional domination pretty came about so I could dedicate myself fulltime to bdsm.
Great thread btw :)
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quote:
"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.
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RE: How Many Pro-Dommes Here... - 
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