RE: "Financially Secure" (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/25/2010 1:34:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

OK, having caught up on the thread, I have to say that my "Go girl!" post had nothing to do with the part where Bella said that sex has to be earned. I sort of skipped over that word (hey, it was late), and responded to the parts of the post that spoke to people having their own preferences, and being judged for it by those who don't meet them, for whatever reason. The part I was mostly agreeing with is here:
quote:

while different women have different requirements, IMO saying "I want a financially stable man" is no different from saying "I want a submissive man" or "I want a tall man" or "I want a Jewish man" or anything else.

To me, a preference is a preference, be it for tall, short, dominant, submissive, Jewish, Christian, or even "financially secure".



AHA!!!
we can agree on that! preferences do exist within individuals, there is no One-True-Way andallthat...and this slave has been with her fair share of financially unstable men! it was a lot more aggravating than never having him pick up the check at the restaurant or spring for tickets to see a show, however...
the complete and utter failure to provide for THEIR OWN basic needs generated drama...(not contributing to the children's up keep was another matter that was an epic fail)...then the desperate measures led to stupid choices that made them even LESS employable. Rinse, wash...repeat! Viscious cycles those turned out to be, and they were not ones this slave was authorized to continue...so those relationships came to their inevitable end.
had this slave merely been looking out for her own self, without the guidance, support and overall dominance of her family in the picture...it would have been a different scenario.



jj292 -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 9:00:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

Besides, my price is far higher than "buy me dinner and you'll get sex." My price is "provide for me, commit to me, build a future with me, and you'll get everything I can give." Sex is just one of those things.



Yeah, see, my price is just "buy me dinner and you'll get sex." [:D]


But seriously, very well put. For me, financially secure is up there with "sense of humor" and "compatible sexually." Nowhere in the book of dating does it say "thou shalt date someone thou hast no interest in, because his circumstances suck, and it's not his fault."


Then you shouldnt be upset at men who kick women to the curb if they sense she's all about money.

But women have very weird preferences for relationships. That is the whole point. So many women out there stick with abusive husbands. They get attracted to "bad boys." And look at how many women send marriage proposals to convicted murderers in prison. Scott Peterson killed his pregnant wife and he got HUNDREDS of marriage propsals from women across the country. WTF is that about?

Women have some really, really funky ideas about what makes a good relationship. And then when the relationship fails, she blames the man and wonders why she was treated like dirt. Maybe said woman needs to evaluate the type of men she's going out with.



PrincessDonna -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 9:12:27 AM)

Isnt this why there was talk of an FAQ thread?



PrincessDonna -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 9:18:33 AM)

I have had subs and slaves that have done things for me with money I didnt know you could even do,once someone had my subway card connected to his credit card so that if  my balance went below $20 the card would adjust it back to $20,I never did eat at Subway alot but I thought it was a great thing to have available. I also got Regal Movie gift cards tucked in with flowers because I enjoy going to movies in my down time,does that make me a "gold digger"? But on the other half of the coin if I hand my sub the cable bill I expect it to get paid. But I DONT go out seeking things I am not interested in just to complain about them!



jj292 -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 11:23:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna

I have had subs and slaves that have done things for me with money I didnt know you could even do,once someone had my subway card connected to his credit card so that if  my balance went below $20 the card would adjust it back to $20,I never did eat at Subway alot but I thought it was a great thing to have available. I also got Regal Movie gift cards tucked in with flowers because I enjoy going to movies in my down time,does that make me a "gold digger"?


No.

But I like this article's definition (an article written by a woman):

"...a gold-digger is a person that dates people for the sole purpose of benefitting from the relationship."

Warning signs she says are:
1. They are more concerned about net worth than personal worth.
2. Seems to only appeal to you with external benefits (ie: sex) rather than personal benefits.
3. The conversation centers around what is missing in their life.

http://www.examiner.com/x-1138-Atlanta-Relationship-Examiner~y2009m1d15-How-to-spot-a-gold-digger

It may have been the way back in the old days for men to provide for the woman in the house. But with the modern age of huge alimony settlements, a divorce rate over 50%, and feminism beginning to supply equal pay....a lot of men have given up their chivalry.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 11:42:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292
Then you shouldnt be upset at men who kick women to the curb if they sense she's all about money.


Fair enough. But that's the only part of this post I can agree with.

quote:


But women have very weird preferences for relationships. That is the whole point. So many women out there stick with abusive husbands. They get attracted to "bad boys."

Because of course no man has ever been in an abusive relationship where he is the victim. Or been attracted to 'femme fatales'.

quote:


And look at how many women send marriage proposals to convicted murderers in prison. Scott Peterson killed his pregnant wife and he got HUNDREDS of marriage propsals from women across the country. WTF is that about?


I don't believe you are using this as an example! Hundreds? I don't know what the population stats for America are off the top of my head, but something tells me they are big enough to make a few hundred letters entirely neglible statistically when it comes to analyzing the ordinary woman you meet in the street.

quote:


Women have some really, really funky ideas about what makes a good relationship. And then when the relationship fails, she blames the man and wonders why she was treated like dirt. Maybe said woman needs to evaluate the type of men she's going out with.


I find this plain offensive. When I've had relationships with men in the past I have never once wondered why I was 'treated like dirt' (because I never have been) and I have never solely blamed the man for the breakup. I don't know what sort of women (if any at all) you've been hanging around with. Whoever they are, they sure as hell aren't representative, honey.



WyldHrt -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 11:47:46 AM)

quote:

Women have some really, really funky ideas about what makes a good relationship. And then when the relationship fails, she blames the man and wonders why she was treated like dirt. Maybe said woman needs to evaluate the type of men she's going out with.

Yes, because all women are exactly alike and share a communal brain. [8|]



VaguelyCurious -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 11:50:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Women have some really, really funky ideas about what makes a good relationship. And then when the relationship fails, she blames the man and wonders why she was treated like dirt. Maybe said woman needs to evaluate the type of men she's going out with.

Yes, because all women are exactly alike and share a communal brain. [8|]



Please can I shotgun it for tonight? I have a lab report to write.



WyldHrt -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 11:52:31 AM)

Okies, but just this once...... [;)]



VaguelyCurious -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 11:56:32 AM)

Much appreciated-it's about rainbows and pretty colours and glowy lights, so it will appeal to our collective feminine side too.



EbonyWood -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 11:59:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Yes, because all women are exactly alike and share a communal brain. [8|]



I'm putting this in CM's best quotes. Without the sarcastic face.
 
Mwahahahahaaaaaaaa.



jj292 -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 12:00:18 PM)

And you dont think it is odd that at least once a month on here someone posts a thread about women and money? But then never see a thread about men demanding money in a relationship?



VaguelyCurious -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 12:06:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

And you dont think it is odd that at least once a month on here someone posts a thread about women and money? But then never see a thread about men demanding money in a relationship?


I think that's a fact of the collarme culture. I don't think that it reflects on the relationship priorities of the average woman in the ways that you talked about in your post. I don't see what it has to do with abusive relationships or being attracted to murderers or spending every breakup wondering why we are treated like dirt (according to you).

There are gold-diggers on collarme. There are women who place importance on financial security. That has nothing to do with the absolute shit you came up with in your post.

(I would like to point out that I am very rarely irritated enough to type a swearword. Feel special, jj292.)



Elisabella -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 2:13:59 PM)

quote:

It may have been the way back in the old days for men to provide for the woman in the house. But with the modern age of huge alimony settlements, a divorce rate over 50%, and feminism beginning to supply equal pay....a lot of men have given up their chivalry.


Alimony sans child support is not for a working woman, it's for a woman who gave up years if not decades of her life that she could have spent furthering her career, in order to do all the unpaid things at home so the man could focus on *his* career and get ahead.

All that time that he didn't have to do 50% of the housework was time he could use to keep competitive in his career, so her staying at home increased his value, whereas her unpaid work pretty much guarantees interviews like "You got your degree 30 years ago and have no experience in your field? Um...here's a receptionist job at $12 an hour."

I realize that it is a reality that many men and women have switched to more genderless relationships (both work high powered jobs, both split housework) and financially the world is just rough for a single income, which is why I plan on working as well once we get a few things sorted, but I am happy that I've found a 'patriarchal' type of man to marry, and from my very biased viewpoint I think a lot of people are missing out on a lot of things when they split their relationship 50/50 down the middle.



InvisibleBlack -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 6:05:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
Yes, because all women are exactly alike and share a communal brain. [8|]


I knew it! You've got a hivemind! You're all telepathic too, aren't you!? [;)]



WyldHrt -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 8:33:28 PM)

I'm afraid I'm not authorized to answer that question, IB.... unless you wish to be assimilated [:D]



jj292 -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 9:07:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

It may have been the way back in the old days for men to provide for the woman in the house. But with the modern age of huge alimony settlements, a divorce rate over 50%, and feminism beginning to supply equal pay....a lot of men have given up their chivalry.


Alimony sans child support is not for a working woman, it's for a woman who gave up years if not decades of her life that she could have spent furthering her career, in order to do all the unpaid things at home so the man could focus on *his* career and get ahead.

All that time that he didn't have to do 50% of the housework was time he could use to keep competitive in his career, so her staying at home increased his value, whereas her unpaid work pretty much guarantees interviews like "You got your degree 30 years ago and have no experience in your field? Um...here's a receptionist job at $12 an hour."

I realize that it is a reality that many men and women have switched to more genderless relationships (both work high powered jobs, both split housework) and financially the world is just rough for a single income, which is why I plan on working as well once we get a few things sorted, but I am happy that I've found a 'patriarchal' type of man to marry, and from my very biased viewpoint I think a lot of people are missing out on a lot of things when they split their relationship 50/50 down the middle.



Most women are not in that situation though. Nearly 60% of college kids graduating today are women. More and more women are graduating with advanced degrees. In a recent report, women are getting 44% of law degrees and 41% of medical degrees. The percentage of households where the female makes more money than the male is continually rising.

Like I said...it isnt the same as it was even 30 years ago. Times are changing. And it will be interesting to see how society handles this in the future. Practically every family in my neighborhood has both parents working. Im not sure if they could afford the mortgage any other way. The question is what happens if the woman in the relationship becomes pregnant and has a child? If she's making $100,000 a year, she may not be able to leave her job and care for the child. The family may not be able to pay the bills if she quits. Either the DAD is going to have to start staying home or someone will have to get a 2nd job to pay for daycare.

With women earning more and more money and the cost of living increasing...this is that direction society is headed. The gender roles are going to be all out of whack in about 20 years.



MargueriteV -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 9:47:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jj292

And you dont think it is odd that at least once a month on here someone posts a thread about women and money? But then never see a thread about men demanding money in a relationship?


Yes it is odd, because there are men that do demand money on this site.



xxblushesxx -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 10:05:11 PM)

Ok. I'm gonna say it. Men who complain about women being pampered and spoiled or expecting to be pampered and spoiled are just jealous that they don't have a nunu and they can't do it too.

Grow up and get over it. There will always be men who are gentlemen and will take care of women. There will always be women who enjoy that. If you're not one of them, don't participate.



WyldHrt -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/26/2010 10:16:25 PM)

quote:

Most women are not in that situation though. Nearly 60% of college kids graduating today are women. More and more women are graduating with advanced degrees. In a recent report, women are getting 44% of law degrees and 41% of medical degrees. The percentage of households where the female makes more money than the male is continually rising.

That was part of Bella's point, I believe. The huge alimony payments you talked about are not made to women who work, unless there is a large disparity in income (she works in a flower shop, he's a CEO). BTW, it also works in reverse. Men can and do get alimony for the same reason.
quote:

The question is what happens if the woman in the relationship becomes pregnant and has a child? If she's making $100,000 a year, she may not be able to leave her job and care for the child. The family may not be able to pay the bills if she quits. Either the DAD is going to have to start staying home or someone will have to get a 2nd job to pay for daycare.

Ummm... where have you been? This already happens in some families, and has for quite awhile.
quote:

With women earning more and more money and the cost of living increasing...this is that direction society is headed. The gender roles are going to be all out of whack in about 20 years.

Heaven forbid.
That said, what does all this have to do with the subject at hand??



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