RE: "Financially Secure" (Full Version)

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Saint -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:11:01 AM)

What is being overlooked here and has not been mentioned thus far is the fact that the vast majority of these 'dominant women' (I use the term loosely as I do not believe it applies to them one bit) who are looking to be fully and unconditionally taken care of financially by a submissive male are the very same ones who dropped out of school, have done nothing with their lives to better themselves, have never learned the value of self-sacrifice and have never done an honest days work. Yet, they somehow feel strongly entitled to everyone elses hard work and sacrifice? Why? For me it is very simple. If I bring more with me to the table financially, mentally, emotionally, etc. etc. than she is capable of, then it does not matter one iota what label she gives herself as I will be moving on quickly. A person with an overblown sense of entitlement about what everyone owes them in life and one who brings 1/10 of what I have worked hard and sacrificed much for with them should not be in a position to demand anything from me as they have done nothing worthwhile to earn it. In that case, let them move on and find someone else who will let them leach off of them. To those Dominant Women who have sacrificed and worked hard to get where they are at in life, I salute you and think you have every right to seek out what you want in a submissive.



AquaticSub -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:12:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

What is being overlooked here and has not been mentioned thus far is the fact that the vast majority of these 'dominant women' (I use the term loosely as I do not believe it applies to them one bit) who are looking to be fully and unconditionally taken care of financially by a submissive male are the very same ones who dropped out of school, have done nothing with their lives to better themselves, have never learned the value of self-sacrifice and have never done an honest days work.


How the hell do you know this? Did you hack into their computer, get their real name and check it against the public records?



Saint -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:21:21 AM)

Ahh, and so it begins. I know this from sheer experience and repetition when dealing with people such as the ones I have talked about. So far in nearly 10 years of real life wonder and merriment of this lifestyle the only women I have ever met who out and out wanted to be financially taken care of have fallen into the category that I have mentioned. Not once, not twice, but many many times. Call it sheer experience when dealing with them. After repeatedly running into such a type of person over and over one begins to seriously start making some pretty accurate assumptions. However I have yet to meet a woman who has worked very hard in her life at betterment, and who has learned about sacrifice and self-dedication, who demanded out and out to be financially taken care of. Somehow those people who are successful with their hard work and dedication generally are not the same ones who are seeking to be fully taken care of. Go figure that someone successful in their lives would not want that from someone else.

Create a male submissive profile on here, go date several dozen or talk with them over the next couple of years, and then come back and harp to me about what I do and do not know. Until you have walked in my shoes or any other male submissives shoes who have had to deal with this, then you really are not an authority on this issue one bit.



AquaticSub -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:23:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

Create a male submissive profile on here, go date several dozen or talk with them over the next couple of years, and then come back and harp to me about what I do and do not know. Until you have walked in my shoes or any other male submissives shoes who have had to deal with this, then you really are not an authority on this issue one bit.


I asked a question. I didn't insult you or claim you don't have experience.

I do, however, think you are painting people with an unfairly wide brush and that you have no business saying "all this" or "all that". There are always exceptions and - even if you are 100 percent correct - there are evidently people who want that so they have a valid place here.

Not your fault. Oh well. As long as they aren't lying about they want, I really can't say I have a problem with it.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:25:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I'll be your live in, provide a clean house and blowjobs, if I can invest all of my income.  That's a SWEET deal.

I appreciate the compliment, but I think you're wrong -- not just about me, but about anybody.  There's an old saying: "If you marry for money, you earn it."



Marry?  Great way to blow THAT fantasy, dragging out the "M" word. 






VaguelyCurious -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:32:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint
If I bring more with me to the table financially, mentally, emotionally, etc. etc. than she is capable of, then it does not matter one iota what label she gives herself as I will be moving on quickly.


That's your prerogative.

But sites like these (and the community in general) are open to everyone within the bounds of SSC. These women have just as much a right to be here as anyone else, and as I think has been mentioned ealier in the thread, there ARE subs who want that sort of thing-I would be surprised if any Domme with a profile here hadn't been approached by at least one or two.

Just because you aren't one of those subs doesn't stop these women from being 'true' dommes-they just aren't for you.



LadyPact -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:40:50 AM)

It always gives Me a bit of a chuckle when someone comes around and starts a thread because they are unhappy about other people's preferences.  It's especially good when the 'that's not what the lifestyle is about' bit comes up.  Believe it or not, each person gets to decide what they want in a prospective match, and if that includes a certain level of financial security, so be it.

I happen to think it is rather prudent for anyone who is looking to find the person on the other side of the kneel to inquire about income.  If we reversed the money issue and were talking about a s-type who stayed at home, the first thing people would be asking about would be can the Dominant financially support that.  What about medical care, retirement, and personal expenses?  It isn't all about play and the rest of life has to be looked at as well.

If a person out there is only interested in others within a certain income bracket because they have a certain financial status that they want to maintain, I say more power to them.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:47:07 AM)

If someone put on thier profile that they are seeking someone "financially secure"....well it is what it is. It doesnt imply that those who arent are bad. But say if I want someone who is financially secure and I put this on my profile, than I am o.k with narrowing my playing field.



Andalusite -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:51:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I'm referring to the actual expectation of it by the dom. There's by far and away a larger prevalence of female doms asking/expecting this, than male doms asking/expecting to be *taken care of* by female submissives.

I've seen a few male dominants who say in their profiles or on the forums that their submissive signs her paycheck over to them, or that they expect that. There are a *LOT* of female submissives who ask/expect to be supported by their male dominant, or by prospective poly couples they might get involved with - I'd say a far higher percentage compared to the Dommes.



Andalusite -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 7:56:33 AM)

I agree with Gypsy - back when I was looking, I wanted to know what potential dates did for a living, as part of getting to know them. I also wanted to know about their hobbies, what movies/books/etc. they like, and other things about them. I don't think I flat out asked anyone their income level, and wasn't expecting to be supported.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:21:41 AM)

*Withdrawn due to my failure to read thoroughly*

Calla



littlewonder -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:21:57 AM)

It's a preference or fetish like any other. If it's not your preference or fetish then don't get involved. Simple really.



Lockit -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:27:35 AM)

Egarslave, twice you have said that a domina wants you to be able to support yourself. Let's stop focusing what these domina's you have talked to or read profiles on, want, and focus on you for a moment.

Can you support yourself?

If no... join the unworking men who are looking to hook up around here. Some, because of the economy are having a rough time supporting themselves. That is an understandable reason for being unemployed to a point. If they were working at some point, they would most likely have unemployment, which would mean some money coming in. Those who have approached me looking for a relationship... basically a home, didn't have any income or were waiting on income or had unemployment that was about to run out. They didn't want me, they wanted the home I could provide.

Honestly, I would help someone I believed was in real trouble and that I cared about. So... I don't expect someone to support me. I don't want to support them either. I do expect them to do something for themselves and many who have contacted me have felt that becasue I am ill and older, they could get in the door real easy because I must be very hungry to get someone because I can't get someone! lol (Mutter's cold day in hell!) Many of these men were not unemployed because of the economy, but poor work habits, other habits and life choices and they had hard times for years... many years.

It isn't always a money thing! It is a life choice thing. Many didn't care to educate themselves. Many decided hanging with friends for a party more important or playing in life when they needed to actually pay attention. It is a mindset... an attitude... a way of life that is often indicated by the results of these things manifesting in their life and some women that really don't care about money, DO care about that! I don't want someone who makes poor life choices. I don't care how much money a man has or doesn't have, but I do care very much about that!

If you can support yourself, just can't support someone else on what you make... okay... join about half the people anywhere. lol People who want a certain standard of living anyway.

Not everyone is real comfortable. They may make their bills but don't have a lot of extra... nothing to fall back on. I would be in that position, not by poor choices, but because of an illness. There isn't much I can do to change that. I know many in this situation and am not alone. I doubt that any reasonable person would discredit someone else in the same position and many do team up and face a better life. If they do discredit others for what they themselves cannot do, then consider the source and move on. No sense bitching about it.

This isn't about other people. This is about you. Your take on it all, your response, your life. For every woman out there that wants a rich partner, there is someone out there that doesn't care to have a rich partner or is understanding or who will be glad to take on someone in their situation or in a poorer situation. I have seen many women who actually had something going for themselves... that took on a sweet talker who had nothing, just to have someone or to fill a spot in their life. I know some men who are out there trying to take advantage of such women. The whole thing goes both ways. That is why I say in part, this is about YOU.

What is your attitude? Do you make decent life choices? Do you have something to bring to a relationship or even just your life? Focus on yourself and if you need to make changes, make them and then go find someone that fits you and your life. If you focus on how things cannot happen because of other people, I would suspect that is part of your life problem that prevents you from finding someone else. Because there are poor men hooking up all over the place. lol They hook up and I literally watch them do so and in a few months they are looking again, not because they were poor, because they were accepted at first... but tossed out because of other issues... and that falls in line with their poor choices or personal issues.




Saint -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:35:58 AM)

Withdrawn as well.




littlewonder -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:38:54 AM)

another bitter, angry, jaded person. <sigh>

Have you thought about some counseling?

I do hope in all genuine respects that you one day don't feel like you do now. Life has much to offer when you just stop and take a deep breath and see just how much it has to offer you.




antipode -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:40:30 AM)

quote:

I am just tired of people "claiming" to be lifestyle Dommes, then once you start talking to them it all boils down to what you do for a living.


So don't talk to the ones you don't like. I do. Whenever I see anyone requiring their sub or dom or whatever to be financially secure, I ask them what they are bringing to the fray.



GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:42:02 AM)

well said LOCKIT!!!
to which I can add..IF I FOCUSED ON IT..
 
I have met several subs in the last months who are
jobless...2 are without an apt or home...4 had no vehicle...
1 just  lost his business..3 wanted to "stay home and "help" me run my business..1 was in a hostel..1 was just out of prison
This is instablility whatever the circumstance...( no judgement)
simply something I PREFER not to LIVE WITH
 
 
GM
ps...my 2nd "second" beloved husband(POLY HOME) quit his job and we other 2 supported him..he stayed home to be chef..we also made prvosion fo rhis retirement and he was in our will.
ITS all about the PERSON and how you negotiate and what each contributes to the  "business" of relating and home..



xssve -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:45:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I'll be your live in, provide a clean house and blowjobs, if I can invest all of my income.  That's a SWEET deal.

I appreciate the compliment, but I think you're wrong -- not just about me, but about anybody.  There's an old saying: "If you marry for money, you earn it."



Marry?  Great way to blow THAT fantasy, dragging out the "M" word. 


Hmmm, and here I was thinking, lemme get this straight: she want's you to work yourself into an early coronary keeping her in the style to which she's become accustomed, while she sits home eating bon-bons and doing her nails, and bitching that you're not ambitious enough?

I think they used to call that marriage.

Me, I can provide basic necessities, you won't starve or freeze to death, anything over and above that will depend on what you're willing to contribute - it's the best I can do, I already have children.



Saint -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:47:21 AM)

Ahh, the insults. Always the insults. All simply because I feel that if someone actually works hard in their lives then they deserve to get what they desire. So I am in the wrong because I feel that if someone has never done any actual work, or done anything to better themselves or to work hard, that they are entitled to my hard work somehow? How does that make me bitter and jaded? I am truly confused now as to why you would think that it is okay for someone who has no goals, ambitions, drive or determination to come along and demand all of your hard work and sacrifice. Let me ask you littlewonder if you would want an unmotivated, unsuccessful partner like that who solely demanded you financially take care of them? Not all of us are so altruistic with our lives I suppose. You must have the moral high ground here on altruism. However do you find the time?



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: "Financially Secure" (1/18/2010 8:52:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

Obviously Calla you show your true intelligence here by not reading my last few sentences before flying off in a huff. As I said though and I will even elaborate a bit for the sake of your.. intelligence... if a Dominant woman has worked her ass off her entire life to get where she is at then I salute her and respect her right to want to be financially taken care of. It is those so called 'dominants' who have never, never done a damn thing with their lives for themselves that I have issue with when they claim they are entitled to financial security simply because they give themselves a title. So go ahead and share this with your friend that you mentioned, that way she can read my post and laugh at your jumping to conclusions before actually fully reading, understanding and hearing what it is I said.

Perhaps you should re-read the part where I said specifically: "To those Dominant Women who have sacrificed and worked hard to get where they are at in life, I salute you and think you have every right to seek out what you want in a submissive."





You're right -- I went back and read much more carefully, and realize that I -did- respond inappropriately. I apologize.

Calla



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