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RE: bdsm for dummies - 1/21/2010 9:57:27 PM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jacksonsprat

I am completely new to this. My wife says she is a submissive and has been finding out about this lifestyle for several months. She has told me that she wants this as a part of our marriage. I am not certain how to start and was wondering how other masters have started and what one does to begin in this type of lifestyle. Can you suggest simple things that would explore a D/s relationship.

Question 1: Do you have a desire to engage your wife as a dominant?
Question 2: What about this potential lifestyle turns you on or off?
Question 3: Got munches and has she anything for your reading pleasure to learn from?

There's more to this besides "spank, roll, repeat" with submissives, so communicate with your wife and see what pushes her buttons, and how she likes her chain yanked...you might be surprised and not so intimidated...Good luck and welcome to the boards!

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

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RE: bdsm for dummies - 1/22/2010 4:02:13 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MastersMaiden

A fun way to learn what she is looking for from this "new" interest is to have her write some stories (erotic are the best :P). Get her to write out a fantasy she has, or what she thinks Bdsm is. If she is shy, you could make this even more fun (if you happen to be so inclined) by some slight punishment if she refuses.

I think this is a great suggestion!

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Post #: 22

RE: bdsm for dummies - 1/24/2010 6:36:14 PM

jacksonsprat

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

Thank you for all the responses. especially to Delphinus...that website did helps us out a lot....after discussing with her some more....she wants this to be part of whole lifestyle, not just in the bedroom. so we will be working on that aspect too.

Again thanks to everyone

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RE: bdsm for dummies - 1/25/2010 8:55:50 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jacksonsprat
I am completely new to this. My wife says she is a submissive and has been finding out about this lifestyle for several months. She has told me that she wants this as a part of our marriage. I am not certain how to start and was wondering how other masters have started and what one does to begin in this type of lifestyle. Can you suggest simple things that would explore a D/s relationship.

Step 1: Find out EXACTLY what she mean by "submissive". That word has about as many meanings as there are people involved in WIITWD.
Step 2: Find out why it is so important to her to have it as a part of your marriage. If she says, "It's my nature." Tell her to dig deeper.

The answers to those two questions ought to help you a lot.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: bdsm for dummies - 4/27/2010 4:13:36 PM

dragon200070

Posts: 93
Joined: 2/9/2010
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You are in an enviable position. First do your homework and read all the classics like BDSM 101, The master's manual, different loving, etc. Then start reading in BDSM groups online, don't forget to post so your opinions can be available. YOu want interchange/talk not action.

As you read, copy those scenes that arouse you and try them with your wife.

You're on your way,
Jeff

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RE: bdsm for dummies - 4/27/2010 10:16:36 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Step 1: Ask her what the hell she means by "submissive". In my experience that can mean anything from "kinky in the bedroom" to "TPE slave". If she's been finding out about this online, then she probably has at least some rough ideas what it is she's talking about. Rest assured that her fantasies won't translate perfectly into reality.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Post #: 26