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Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:09:40 AM

LilFootGirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/3/2009
Status: offline

Im having a bit of trouble and not sure if im looking in the right places, any advice would be nice :)

Im not like most people here, interested in sex, bondage, pain and other things related which is making this search of mine pretty hard. As you can tell by my name i do have a foot fetish (females only) and i do have alot of fantasies to do with feet i'd love to try. Just so you know, so far i haven't had any experience so everything im interested in is basically what i fantasize about and not what i've actually tried.

Ontop of the foot fetish all i really want is to find a Domme who i can spend time with in every day life not some dungeon in latex. I want to be used to serve her, ill clean, cook, give massages and generally just wait on her hand and foot taking care of all her needs so she can relax. Objectification and pet play look like things i'd like to try too.
I have no idea why but taking care of someone like this is a huuuuge turn on for me. If i can work while somone relaxes and snaps their fingers then ill be in heaven (throw in the foot stuff as a reward and its perfect)
In return i want to be respected and looked after, i dont want to be whipped i'd rather be cuddled!

I want to be like a dog, you pet it and love it and look after it but expect it to what its told... SIT! like that lol
I wouldnt mind just being an object there to make a Dommes life easier. I dont mind things like being walked on but not whipping or tortured.

Im probably looking in the completely wrong place since everyone wants more such as the pain and stuff.
I just want a little pink collar :(

My profile thingy has my pictures and stuff if you want to have a look.
Sooo yeah any advice?

Post #: 1

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:16:00 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

advice on what? youre into a fetish involving implied power exchange and interested in the possibilities of actual power exchange, so why shouldnt you be looking here? it isnt all about whips and chains - even the bits about whips and chains.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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Post #: 2

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:18:15 AM

LilFootGirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/3/2009
Status: offline

Well im just wondering if im looking in right place. I havent found anyone who dosnt want more than what im looking for.
Does that mean i should be a bit more open minded or what? just abit confused

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 3

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:24:01 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

there may be other web venues you could look at - but real life social meets and parties usually work much better than online. if you only joined April last year then it isnt unusual to still be looking now - there are successes here but it takes time; after all, youre ideally looking for someone to be with who meets your needs and for whom you meet their needs, and thats hard enough in real life let alone online.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 4

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:25:13 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

This isn't necessarily the right or wrong place. However, if this is the ONLY place you are looking your chances are much slimmer. There are plenty of women here who are sensual dommes, not sadists. Finding one that is right for you however may take longer than you wish to wait. So, in the meantime, seek out other venues to search, and browse around here on your down time.

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(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 5

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:26:25 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

The impression I get from your profile is that it is all about you. Not that it is a bad thing but it might put people off.
I don't get submission from you... I do get bottom... but that might just be the way the written word comes across - is that what you are?

If you don't dig pain, then sure make it clear but I just get the impression that it's all about what you want, not what you can offer.

.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:27:04 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

You'll probably find people interested in that here. Beyond that, I've found some awfully kinky people on "normal" dating sites. People who identify with things like, "I'm not kinky, I just like doing anything my partner wants." They don't relate to the CSI depiction of a dominatrix, but they are submissive as hell.

I bet if you phrased a profile like, "Looking for an in-charge woman who likes being looked after, and having her feet rubbed," you'd get takers.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:33:31 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

The thing to remember is that 95% of life is vanilla day-to-day living. So even if your eventual Domina wants you in latex, in a "dungeon" (yummy BTW), it probably ain't gonna happen but once a month or every few weeks. If you end up in a live in situation, you could easily have exactly what you describe.

What is important to remember, is that it is gonna be about "Her" wants, not yours. My Lady had a single line in her profile that said that she was a bit of a sadist...When we met, I was not all that big into being hit, but a year and a half later, I absolutely love it. Not because I am some big masochist, but because it makes Her happy and makes us feel connected...and yea, I am just a little bit masochistic too.

Who'da thunk that two years ago...not me.

So be open to Her kinks as well as your own, be willing and open to evolving situations, feelings, and "limits". Welcome to the forums and good luck in your search!

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:37:47 AM

LilFootGirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/3/2009
Status: offline

Well that was fast :o

I never thought of trying dating sites, i didnt know there was anything like this on there could be worth a look though. To be honest i have only looked here and no where else.

My profile is all about me simply because i wanted my profile to show me, i wanted to try to get my personality accross aswell as the things im interested in. I really didnt want people to think im one of those "im a worthless slut abuse me" kind of people. I would definitely class myself as submissive though, it may not show on here but i guess its kind of hard to show.

Thanks for the replies though, really wasnt expecting much. =)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 9

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:40:05 AM

LilFootGirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/3/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

What is important to remember, is that it is gonna be about "Her" wants, not yours.

I know that and that exactly how i want it to be, but theres things im really not interested in and dont want to be forced to do.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 10

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 8:13:21 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilFootGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

What is important to remember, is that it is gonna be about "Her" wants, not yours.

I know that and that exactly how i want it to be, but theres things im really not interested in and dont want to be forced to do.

All of life is negotiation and compromise and inspiration.

Of course you should not select someone who would force you to do something that goes beyond your limits.

However, my point was that as part of a negotiated relationship of relative compatibility, you will find that compromise on certain aspects will serve your needs by serving Hers. Your willingness to do things that perhaps you would not enjoy as much, for Her, will further inspire Her to want to meet your needs. As relationships evolve, you may find that your limits of today will expand that you would be willing to do and try things down the road with the right someone that today seem beyond the pale.

And when you do these things out of love and service, it is not about you "gutting it out" or "getting through" something that you -hate- or are -forced- to do. It becomes about you submitting to being uncomfortable, or even suffering a bit -for- Her - you do it willingly in submission, in love, and in service.

So a very different headspace from what you are thinking it might be like today. My experience of it is that it is very heady, very loving, very connective. When a submissive bends, and willingly accepts something that perhaps they are not into, or that may be uncomfortable or even painful, that for most dominant folk is like Pure Dominant Crack. And as that becomes a positive experience between the two of you, your trust is built, your connection is strengthened, and your boundaries stretch.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 11

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 5:22:10 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Are you looking for a situation which would involve foot worship and domestic service, but no sex?

If so, it might be easier for you to find a woman who would let you into a poly situation so she can get her other needs met as well.

Stupid question - would you consider working as a maid for pay? It'd be a lot easier to find several longterm situations if it was done as a business arrangement. And it'd pay too!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 12

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 6:51:55 PM

LilFootGirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/3/2009
Status: offline

In a way yes, foot worship and domestic stuff is mainly what im interested in but it is a huge turn on for me soo for the right person i wouldnt turn down sex (normal sex)
Its not my main interest though, i'd take foot worship over sex any day lol

Getting paid to do it kind of defeats the whole idea, i do it because i want to not because i have to. I love the whole kind of cinderella type thing where she works while the step sisters relax (i know its not the same thing)

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 13

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:10:58 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

OP,

I'm curious...in your profile you say " I hope that when i do eventually find a Domme it will be someone who can teach/train me but will also look after me. "
Does that mean you want to be 24/7 with a woman who will support you? I ask this because DarkSteven was onto something, in my opinion, when he mentioned working as a maid. While it may not fulfill your kink 100%, it will bring in a paycheck.
Maybe you could find work as a Lady's maid or Personal Assistant for a ProDomme who could offer some kind of salary and still allow you to possibly be in a kink-friendly atmosphere and maybe a chance at some experience since you mention not having any.

In the meantime...I'd start brushing up on my service skills because reality does have a way of happening, with or without a latex catsuit.

Just a thought. Regardless...good luck.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 14

RE: Little help? - 1/20/2010 7:25:40 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

It's been mentioned here in passing, but I am going to make it the mainstay of my response to try to give it a bit more strength:
Get to a munch. You have a much better chance of meeting someone if you are active in local community.

As for looking here, how hard are you looking? did you just sign up and wait for them to find you?
Participating here on the boards will help, it will get you noticed.

Make friends in the lifestyle everyway you can. You might meet someone who knows the perfect Domme for you, connections work more often than anything else.

Just being active in local community can be very fun and rewarding. Here is a fantasy for you to think on: Imagine if you got involved in a local munch, and they had a fund raising kink auction, and let you put your services, a few hours of no strings house work and general house service, available to women only, up as a bid offer -
not saying that will happen to you, but if you are active in local community, it can happen. Also, as a service oriented submissive, you might enjoy going as a single to some nearby conventions, and signing up as a volenteer. Many will give you a partial schoolarship if you volenteer to work the convention, and you'd get to be of service!

Really, find your local community and get involved.

_____________________________

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~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 15

RE: Little help? - 1/22/2010 5:51:30 PM

Cutecouplex

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline

hmm

< Message edited by Cutecouplex -- 1/22/2010 5:52:01 PM >

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 16

RE: Little help? - 1/22/2010 5:53:51 PM

LilFootGirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/3/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
I'm curious...in your profile you say " I hope that when i do eventually find a Domme it will be someone who can teach/train me but will also look after me. "
Does that mean you want to be 24/7 with a woman who will support you? I ask this because DarkSteven was onto something, in my opinion, when he mentioned working as a maid. While it may not fulfill your kink 100%, it will bring in a paycheck.

No sorry i didnt mean it like that, I want a private life aswell as my life as a sub.. being 20 im at college and have a job so i really couldnt do 24/7. Like i said before being paid to do it wouldnt be the same, it dosnt feel like work to me its more of a pleasure thing. Having to work while someone sits, relaxes and gives me orders is a huge turn on for me.

(not to say i wouldnt accept a little money for it lol)

As for going to a munch i have looked into it and they do happen here, the thing is apart from this site no one knows about this side of me and i really dont have confidence to go along on my own to that sort of thing.

(in reply to Cutecouplex)

Post #: 17

RE: Little help? - 1/22/2010 7:37:25 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

quote:

when you do these things out of love and service, it is not about you "gutting it out" or "getting through" something that you -hate- or are -forced- to do. It becomes about you submitting to being uncomfortable, or even suffering a bit -for- Her - you do it willingly in submission, in love, and in service.

yes, yes, and yes.

I have a new signature. thousand points for you Delectable Otter.

edit: never mind... too long.

but still. Very nice post. And Inspiring.

< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 1/22/2010 7:40:25 PM >

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 18

RE: Little help? - 1/23/2010 1:33:13 PM

QueenRah

Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilFootGirl

Ontop of the foot fetish all i really want is to find a Domme who i can spend time with in every day life...I want to be used to serve her, I'll clean, cook, give massages and, generally, just wait on her hand and foot taking care of all her needs so she can relax...

I have no idea why but taking care of someone like this is a huuuuge turn on for me. If i can work while somone relaxes and snaps their fingers then ill be in heaven (throw in the foot stuff as a reward and its perfect)
In return i want to be respected and looked after, i dont want to be whipped i'd rather be cuddled!

I want to be like a dog, you pet it and love it and look after it but expect it to what its told... SIT! like that lol

I wouldnt mind just being an object there to make a Dommes life easier. I dont mind things like being walked on but not whipping or tortured.

I just want a little pink collar :(

Where do you get that this young lady thinks it's all about her, RCdc? She's asking to be able to do useful things for a Domina and be treated relatively gently, in return. The "do mes," many of them twice her age, could learn a lot from her!

LilFoot, keep on, girl. Not all Dominants are sadists. You do not have to compromise yourself to find someone, anyone, to play with you and be your Lady. You may have your work cut out for you finding her and it may take quite a while, though!

QR

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to LilFootGirl)

Post #: 19

RE: Little help? - 1/23/2010 3:36:25 PM

Rhodes85

Posts: 445
Joined: 11/15/2008
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

Well im just wondering if im looking in right place. I havent found anyone who dosnt want more than what im looking for.
Does that mean i should be a bit more open minded or what? just abit confused

No it doesn't mean you should be more open minded. It just means you haven't found that person yet. Give it time.

quote:

If i can work while somone relaxes and snaps their fingers then ill be in heaven (throw in the foot stuff as a reward and its perfect)
In return i want to be respected and looked after, i dont want to be whipped i'd rather be cuddled!

Then don't settle for anyone who doesn't respect and isn't willing to look after you.

quote:

I never thought of trying dating sites, i didnt know there was anything like this on there could be worth a look though. To be honest i have only looked here and no where else.

My profile is all about me simply because i wanted my profile to show me, i wanted to try to get my personality accross aswell as the things im interested in. I really didnt want people to think im one of those "im a worthless slut abuse me" kind of people. I would definitely class myself as submissive though, it may not show on here but i guess its kind of hard to show.

I think you did a good job of your profile. I think you may want to take a look at some other websites as well. Though the average dating site has its fair share of people that are everything you aren't looking for. Just like here you have to put up with alot of waiting and bs to find the right person. I would suggest if you have Facebook to try that Social Me application. I met more people through that then any dating site ironically.

quote:

LilFoot, keep on, girl. Not all Dominants are sadists. You do not have to compromise yourself to find someone, anyone, to play with you and be your Lady. You may have your work cut out for you finding her and it may take quite a while, though!

I agree.

quote:

No sorry i didnt mean it like that, I want a private life aswell as my life as a sub.. being 20 im at college and have a job so i really couldnt do 24/7.

Well, being in college have you considered putting off your search until you are finished? It might make it easier after you graduate, as you would have more time both for your search and for the person when you find her.

quote:

As for going to a munch i have looked into it and they do happen here, the thing is apart from this site no one knows about this side of me and i really dont have confidence to go along on my own to that sort of thing.

Well you could spend some time around here, get to know some people, make some new friends and arrange for someone to come with you to a munch.

In the end you just have to give it time. Be yourself, don't let anyone talk you into doing anything you are not comfortable with and get to know a few people. You will eventually find the right person for you.

_____________________________

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been an actual emergency you would all be dead by now. Have a nice day and remember: Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

(in reply to QueenRah)

Post #: 20

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