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Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 7:46:34 AM   
goober


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So, you're out on a friday night with him / her, walking to a venue, in clubwear, fetish, smart vanilla, whatever, and someone walking past on a busy highstreet seems to make a passing snarky remark about your submissive and continues walking on. What do you do?

Go chase them down and force an explanation out of them? Shout abuse at them back? Laugh it off and keep on walking? Something else?

How about if this person is up infront of you / them - maybe at a taxi rank, and saying something hurtful towards the submissive, maybe drunk? As the Dom/me What would you do then?

submissives - what would you'd prefer to happen, or what would you do?

I'd be interested to hear views as to how far you take to protecting the submissive... I think I know the two types of answers there will be, but I'll keep schtum for now!
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 7:58:03 AM   
RCdc


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If a person is so worried about passing comments from strangers, then they need to reflect on why - or just avoid going out at all.
Provocation and confrontation does not protect anyone.

.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to goober)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:02:31 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: goober

So, you're out on a friday night with him / her, walking to a venue, in clubwear, fetish, smart vanilla, whatever, and someone walking past on a busy highstreet seems to make a passing snarky remark about your submissive and continues walking on. What do you do?

Go chase them down and force an explanation out of them? Shout abuse at them back? Laugh it off and keep on walking? Something else?

We'd most likely ignore it. What is the point in bothering with some stranger who is so unhappy that they have to snark passing people on the street? At best it's a waste of our time and at worst they may have a firearm.
quote:


How about if this person is up infront of you / them - maybe at a taxi rank, and saying something hurtful towards the submissive, maybe drunk? As the Dom/me What would you do then?

Same thing. Unless they are physically threatening either of us, we have no business escalating the situation.
quote:


submissives - what would you'd prefer to happen, or what would you do?

I expect him to do nothing unless life and limb is in danger and neither would I. Either of us would simply defuse the situation and remove ourselves from it. Stabbings, fights and gunfights begin many times as an exchange of words. As a martial artist, I'm trained to avoid fights, not start them. I expect no less of the man who owns me.

This isn't a BDSM issue though. It's a relationship issue.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/20/2010 8:03:15 AM >


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to goober)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:07:45 AM   
Mercnbeth


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as strange as this may sound, folk really don't go out of their way to make condescending, sexually suggestive or negative remarks to this slave while she is in Master's company. if anything, they are complimentary.

take Him out of the equation, though, and it's a whole different story.

(in reply to goober)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:14:17 AM   
Dominasola


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From: Ottawa, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth


take Him out of the equation, though, and it's a whole different story.



I agree with beth; people are much more likely to make inappropriate comments toward me when I'm alone. This issue, though, is much more difficult to deal with directly (unless it became so bad that I just wouldn't go ANYWHERE by myself).

_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:19:18 AM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

as strange as this may sound, folk really don't go out of their way to make condescending, sexually suggestive or negative remarks to this slave while she is in Master's company. if anything, they are complimentary.


This is My experience as well.

Truthfully, I wouldn't hear a comment that someone made as they passed by.  I tend to be more of an in the moment kind of person, who is most likely paying the most attention to whatever I found to be the priority.  For Me, it's a scale and if I'm with My submissive, I'm most likely concentrating on us, not some random person on the street.

I honestly couldn't tell you the last person who approached Me in real life with a negative comment.  I'm rather easy to get along with and am usually more interested in the positives.

I will say this.  There have been some brave folks who chose to pound out on their keyboards things they would never have the balls to say in real life about Me or My sub if they had to say it to My face.  I address those comments, usually expressing My distaste for the originator's lack of social grace and make My opinion of their remarks known.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:40:05 AM   
windchymes


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A passing snarky comment means nothing, and I would think my date a little full of himself if he makes anything of it by confronting the snarker, or even answering back in any way.  IMO, the best thing is to keep walking and not even acknowledge it.


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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:47:16 AM   
pompeii


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What would you do if someone made a snide remark about your mother or child while they were next to you?

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:49:20 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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In my opinion, if protecting someone you are with is the focus/concern - then provoking a potentially dangerous situation would be counter-intuitive.

I'd feel much safer with someone who exercises good judgment and has enough concern for my safety not to put me in a potentially dangerous situation.
I detest public scenes.  I'd be horrified to be involved in one, especially over something so petty as a verbal slight made by a comlete stranger.

If a drunk gets in my face, I step aside.  In my experience, there just isn't anything of value to come from arguing with a drunk.  I'd hope that anyone I was with, would support me in my need to get as far and as fast as possible from someone who was that inebriated and confrontational.

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:50:13 AM   
RCdc


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If it was my mother, I would leave them to her wrath...

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:50:53 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: goober

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
We'd most likely ignore it. What is the point in bothering with some stranger who is so unhappy that they have to snark passing people on the street? At best it's a waste of our time and at worst they may have a firearm.


Three sentences common to EVERY Shotokai martial artist I have trained with.



Thank you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to goober)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:50:56 AM   
sirsholly


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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

What would you do if someone made a snide remark about your.. child while they were next to you?

spend the next ten minutes trying to remove my stiletto from their ass?


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:51:53 AM   
LordODiscipline


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Let me just speak to and deal with the "Don Quiote Romanticized Bravado factor", rather than whether we "should care" what a stranger says:

I love the "I would expect the dominant to protect me" attitude.

A person with an attitude like this lives in a box and a world where drinking a potion will make them small

Look:

What would you do in ANY venue... name them:

1. NYC Bronx
2. East LA
3. Des Moines IA during the state fair
4. Standing on your stoop (wherever that is)
5. Beijing China
6. Bangkok, Thailand
6. Etc

What would you do if the person were:

1.White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc. (before anyone speaks to this negatively consider there are realized studies demonstrating there is a difference in how people behave in such a situation based on race despite any idealistic nonsense about "I would never!"
2. Tall, short, fat, skinny, bald, long hair, tattooed,etc.
3. Disheveled, dressed in a three piece suit, wearing jeans, wearing nothing, etc.
4. Carrying a club, carrying himself well, carrying a fire arm, carrying nothing except his long penis, carrying a dead body, carrying a grudge, carrying a discrete metal object, carrying a long brown paper package, etc.
5. Running toward you, standing there, running away form you, walking toward you with intent, standing in a position of defiance, standing in a puddle of pee, etc.
6. Smiling, frowning, smirking, laughing, with a knoing look, with a sullen look, with a scared look, with a quick glance, etc.
7. Said it at night, said it at 6AM, said it in the dark, said it in a well lit area, said it in front of strangers, said it quietly to you alone, said it to the heavens, whispered it to your submissive, etc.

You get the idea... different , time, situations, and places may demand different levels of response depending on whether there is a real threat being levied... and, then there is the attitude that there is always the 'potential' of a realized threat existing simply because the situation exists and this person has "dared" to comment.

Unless you are a law official it would be foolish to comment back (and, even then it is pretty speculative as to the outcome based in the fact that you (as an officer) can be held responsible for actions out of uniform

The fact is, unless there is an idiot on your leash who would fantasize that an aggressive act toward a stranger is the thing to do, creating the tension often lent to an escalating situation, there should be no impetus for any rational human to speak up and step up.

And, if you own someone who would expect you to step in front of a bullet to simply "protect them" (where there is no real threat existing and/or evident) then you have to ask the question "why do I have them in my life?"

There is reality and due amount of force - and, then there is the freaking internet romanticism of an unrealistic expectation that is as sure to fail the relationship as anything existing - and, unrequited and unrealistic expectations are the absolute death of relationships.

~J



_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to goober)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:51:54 AM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

If it was my mother, I would leave them to her wrath...


Agreed.... *shudders* I have seen some scary Mamas....

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:53:52 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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If a stranger made a snide remark about my child, I would first - make certain my child was in a safe place, outside of physical harm.  Then I would speak to my child, not the person making the remark, and make certain my child knows that some people are freaking idiots and not to be paid attention to.  I'd definitely do my best to reaffirm my child's self confidence.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:53:56 AM   
ranja


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Joined: 11/1/2007
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Once me, my brother and a good friend of ours left a night club and as we walked away a drunk guy shouted: "what do you want to go home with that cunt for, all she's got is them big tits"... i remember it word for word, and everybody looked around.
Used as i was to remarks about my ample bossom and as much as i don't care about drunk assholes, because i was in company i was extremely embarrassed...
anyway, we shrugged it off and kept walking, none of us even acknowledged the comment or the guy...
Years later my brother mentioned it and said he still felt sorry and wrong about the fact that he had not punched the ignorant bastards lights out, just to teach him to watch his foul mouth...

In company of my Husband i have never had nasty comments except for once when the reason seemed to be to pick a fight on purpose, maybe with the idea to rob us.
We managed to ignore and get away from the situation.

and as i am older men seem to have become more gentlemanly and a lot less rude in general.

(in reply to goober)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:54:45 AM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

What would you do if someone made a snide remark about your mother or child while they were next to you?



Depends on the remark, our location, the person in question (someone I know, a drunk, another mother who is juggling three kids herself, etc) and what I'm juggling at the moment. I'm not going to do anything that could lead to a fight when I'm wrangling five kids, for example. I couldn't possibly defend myself and keep an eye on the children.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:55:15 AM   
VampiresLair


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The chances are the person saying the comment either  already knows it was inappropriate and are itching to get into a fight over something, or they are su drunk and/or high that they will have no idea what was said in the morning.

For us, a single inappropriate comment will be ignored. I have no desire to start something over someone's stupidity, especially when its obviously bait for someone to try and get into a fight because they are in a bad mood to blow of steam or something similiar.Now, if this same person is stupid enough to have continued jabs at us while we are forced to share company with them then they will eventually try my patience and I will retort. Most of the time it is like getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed man, they are just waiting for a reason to turn it violent.

Fox and I agree that unless we are dealing with someone who can somehow actually affect our lives somehow it is usually better to laugh at their attempts at insults than engage them and see how much trouble can be started. It would be like his getting jealous every time a construction worked wolf-whistled at me, or taking it personally if someone turned us down for a suggestive sale at work. Unless the person knows you and has information to back up their statements, things trown out at complete strangers are just bait to try and draw them into some other scenario. I dont bite.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:55:29 AM   
peppermint


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If he cares about my safety at all, he'd better let the insult slide off his back.  I do not need or want him to confront some stranger who may have a gun and may be looking for a reason to use it.  As the old child's saying goes, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me."  

(in reply to CuddlyParrotGirl)
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RE: Protecting your submissive - 1/20/2010 8:55:37 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

If it was my mother, I would leave them to her wrath...


Agreed.... *shudders* I have seen some scary Mamas....


Oh boy.  My mom is only 4'10" in height, but she's hell on heels.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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