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RE: Sensitivity... - 4/8/2006 10:27:46 AM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline
You sound lucky to have her, and she you.

My girl is a bit like that. She is very sensitive to my moods and needs, and at times it causes me some anger or frustration, and I don't really know why. Perhaps because I see that she's even more in tune with my emotions than I am, and that's disturbing.

When I'm harsh with her, she accepts it, and tells me to give her any negative emotions I want.  She feels she "deserves" it.  While I know that's not true, we do have an understanding that she'll accept my negativity and sarcastic moods, or simply my anger, as long as I give her care and downtime afterwards.  She loves me for it.

(in reply to saltygoodness27)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Sensitivity... - 4/8/2006 1:02:47 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline
We were just friends, but I understand this kind of a connection, almost Corsican in nature.  Finishing sentences, reading moods.  It's familiarity witht he person and the little physical clues the conscious mind doesn't pick up on, the subconscious mind does.  Never found anything wrong with it, personally, and generally tend to find it somewhat amusing when it does happen.

(in reply to CanadianGuy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Sensitivity... - 4/8/2006 9:48:31 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline
I can't say that I always know what Master is thinking, but I generally read his moods pretty well. It does frustrate me at times when I feel like I can't lift his spirits, but I can always be a sounding board and a support.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Sensitivity... - 4/8/2006 10:45:00 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL
...she got real quiet and asked what she had done wrong and why I was being short with her; when I recognized what was going on I stated it wasn't her, apologized and received a quiet "that's ok"...for Me it is not "ok"...

This, to me, speaks volumes about you, Cerckl.  My Master also gets concerned when His less than pleasant moods (that are not meant to be directed at me) come my way, and as a result, I feel kind of quiet or sad. 

Sometimes the "sad" part is that I am not able to make my Master feel better about what is bothering Him, sometimes it is at His tone when He is irritated, even though I have done nothing wrong.  The fact that you are sensitive to her reaction of quietness and her sensitivity to you and her wanting to be there for you, even during the tough times, is very endearing.  The fact that it "is not OK" with you is even more so.  Treating your sub or slave's heart as if its very existence depended on you is the mark of a wonderful Master.  My Master is that way, and I am so glad that He is.

All the best to you and your girl,
Daddysredhead


_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Sensitivity... - 4/9/2006 2:09:04 AM   
JoeT2000


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline
The secret of any relationship - D/s or otherwise, is the acceptance that your partner, Dom, Master, submissive, slave is human. For subs, the ideolisation of the Master to the extent he can never do wrong is likely to doom things to failure. Unrealistic expectations. Personally, I have more respect for the Doms/Masters who can turn round and apologise on occasion, and have the ability to explain how they feel (and not fear expressing it).

On occasion we all have bad days, and it is a very normal reaction to let emotions from other situations "intrude" elsewhere, particularly with people you are "close to" or "attuned to".

For the submissive who sees her Master having "one of those days", rather than feeling hyper sensitive, thinking "it's all me", try soothing him. For the Master, explain you've had a crappy day at the start of the conversation. Oh, and vice versa. Learning to read each other's "cues", including verbal ones (harder on the phone - sometimes virtually impossible with text), should be a part of training.

It isn't all one way. Personally... as well as a bdsm checklist (more important in my opinion) is knowing when your submissive has their period. Depending on how this effects them... beware... you may find your whip rammed somewhere rather unpleasant.

I'd work on your subs self esteem, and build it. The more she views herself positively, the less likely she is to take responsibility for things which aren't her responsibility, and act in a manner which is more mature, and balanced. When she values herself, she will serve you with confidence and vitality, not hesitancy and hyper sensitivity (which can get irritating). Yeah I know, this is an ideal, and there will always be off days...

Cosi fan tutti.

Joe

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Sensitivity... - 4/9/2006 11:31:42 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

grr


LuckyAlbatross...I am curious what I typed/"said" to elicict this response from you? Though I do not always agree with your insight or opinion, I appreciate and respect the fact that you take the time to make comments which have value...
If insulted you. I am sorry...

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
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