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A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 8:48:43 AM   
Frankseas


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline 		Been out of the style for a bit and have seen a new term on-line now and just would like to get peoples opinions on what it involves and if it is a good thing or bad?

Sounds like fun to me except for the STDs going around today! And is it going around in this style as well or not?

To me it seems like people want fun without the commitant or loyality that some find here with others?!

Oh and will shut up for now...and Hello All!
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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 8:55:23 AM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frankseas


To me it seems like people want fun without the commitant or loyality that some find here with others?!



I think this is essentially it. Some people don't want serious relationships, but still want to be able to casually have sex with the same person.

quote:



Sounds like fun to me except for the STDs going around today! And is it going around in this style as well or not?



I know that for myself, at least, if I were to engage in a "fuck buddy" relationship, it would be with someone I trusted - someone who is already a friend - to not have STDs.

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 8:56:08 AM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		It's not an ol term.. I've been familiar with it sense I became sexually aware. Normally, I just say friend with benefits.

It's really not about loyality at all.. it's about having fun. I've had one FB for longer then any "romantic" relationship. We are very good friends. I can always count on him when I need it, and he's the same with me.

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:00:16 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		It's just a racier way of saying "a lover" or "a play partner" or "a friend with benefits".

In French, we call them un ami érotique (an erotic friend). I like that better as it's not always about fucking ;-)

- LA

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:01:16 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
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Status: offline 		Just a reminder... condoms are your friend...

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:07:52 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I've had a couple of 'friend with benefits'  relationships.  It could be said that I have a love/hate inclination toward it. 

One one hand:
A friends with benefits relationship met my needs on a basic level, and it didn't interfer with my life or my family.  Companionship was a phone call away.
Sex was good.
I maintained ownership of my remote.

On the other hand:
It wasn't good long-term for me, because I have a need for a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.  And it made it too easy not to go out and work/strive for something more fulfilling.
It reinforced some of my less than positive self-images that I have, ie. believing that I'm unloveable.

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:09:13 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
In French, we call them un ami érotique (an erotic friend).


Funny how pretty much anything sounds delicious in french



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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:20:15 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frankseas

To me it seems like people want fun without the commitant or loyality that some find here with others?!



IMHO - a fuck buddy is safer than the random dude in the bar. Whenever I've had a fuck buddy, it was someone I knew socially, had other friends who were friends with them (and usually knew a few other people who had screwed them as well). There was a certain amount of accountability socially - not that I expected this to protect me. Simply that I think someone is more likely to not care about passing on a STD when they aren't going to have to do deal with any sort of ramifications. Of course, if they don't know then that is an entirely different story.

Frankly, they're convienent. Good sex, easy to get to, you know the person, you trust them and maybe you can play a few rounds on the X-Box or watch a movie together before or after.

Now it's probably not something that everyone is suited for at all times in their life. The fuck buddy dynamic serves a purpose in particular situations.

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:30:55 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frankseas

Been out of the style for a bit and have seen a new term on-line now and just would like to get peoples opinions on what it involves and if it is a good thing or bad?

Sounds like fun to me except for the STDs going around today! And is it going around in this style as well or not?

To me it seems like people want fun without the commitant or loyality that some find here with others?!

Oh and will shut up for now...and Hello All!


I am a bit puzzled now what "this style" has to do with "fun without committment?"

First of all people who just want fun are in all sorts of life and that has nothing to do with "this style."

And whilst there are some people just for fun on here and some couples, here are also some folks on here on their genuine search...so don't assume that all of us are on here "just for fun."

Apart from that I can only agree to AquaticSub's view.

Sometimes folks criticise that I don't state where I am living in the UK...and quite frankly people looking for just a quick fuck are one of the reasons why I took out my location...as after all I don't look for a fuck buddy (I have my ex, a friend and my C-Dom if I am in the desire of a fuck buddy, and have no interest into that stuff with a complete stranger as for me I need to trust the person to be able to enjoy it and that's not gonna happen with just anyone) and I will relocate out of the UK for sure.

So after some folks in my local area got on my nerves with the fact that I have no interest in meeting that sort of folks and after I dared to get involved with guys over here in the past who then blamed me for being "serious" that I won't stay over here, I took my location out. I just don't need that hassle as I know I will leaver (very potentially this year).

So bear in mind, by far not everyone is just looking to get laid...


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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:33:44 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I maintained ownership of my remote.




Unloveable?..... probably not...... but you are gonna HAVE to give up the remote.

ChannelChangingDom

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:47:46 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I maintained ownership of my remote.




Unloveable?..... probably not...... but you are gonna HAVE to give up the remote.

ChannelChangingDom


Only if we wrestle for it, and I lose. 

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:49:28 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
In French, we call them un ami érotique (an erotic friend).


Funny how pretty much anything sounds delicious in french




In my circle we refer to them as "sticky friends" - I'll admit, not as delicious as the french ;-)

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:51:41 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Deal....... but the remote will probably become secondary in all that...:)

Jeff

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:57:03 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frankseas


To me it seems like people want fun without the commitant or loyality that some find here with others?!


I was talking about this with a group of friends recently - We reckon that among busy 30-somethings the concept of a fuck-buddy is on the increase - As one of my lady friends put it "I don't have the time or energy to form a monogomous relationship with the goldfish/dog and all the other nonsense - I like the fact that I have a friend I can just have fun with, without all that baggage".

I don't think there's a lack of commitment or loyalty - it's just a commitment and a loyalty to a different thing... the ideal fb relationship is without jealousy, allows both parties to get on with their lives, and focusses on friendship and fun rather than an intense relationship.

I'm not saying that relationships aren't based on friendship and fun I hasten to add... but there's a sense that fb relationships are more relaxed, less serious.

They are fraught with problems tho - What happens if one party decides they want a more formal monogamous relationship (I'd note here that among my friends their fb relationships tended to be monogamous although it wasn't a statistically meaningful sample)?
What happens if one party finds themself in a relationship with a third-party?

I've had fb relationships in the past - on  two occasions they ended because the gal found a partner (and in one case she married him and in the other she's going to this summer)- in both cases we remained really good friends, just without the "benefits"..

quote:


Oh and will shut up for now...and Hello All!


Hello!

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 9:58:12 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		"Fuck buddy" is not a new term in the gay world. I think a synonym in the straight world is "booty call."  Yes, straight "fuck buddies" are as described.  It's just that "fuck buddies" in the gay world covers both the booty call and the friend with privileges.  Summary: All men are pigs.  Put two in the same room and sex happening is a definite possiblity.  Just sayin'

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 1/23/2010 10:03:02 AM >

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 10:00:07 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:


In my circle we refer to them as "sticky friends"


I first thought "ewwwwwwww" and then I thought... hey, sticky buns...  then I just didn't know what to think!


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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 10:09:37 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I've always preferred the term fuck buddy to booty call.  dunno why.

I've had my share of fuck buddies.  It worked for me then. 

Obviously, the FB thing is history, for me.

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 10:11:03 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hey Greeds -
I think "FB" tends to be more equal... the whole "booty call" makes it sound like you're sitting there waiting for the phone to ring or you have no life. 

I'm with you on this one.
sunshine


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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 10:17:28 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		yeah, Sunny.. I think you nailed it.. .


*smooooches to you and Aunt Fab, scritches to the furbabies*

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? - 1/23/2010 10:18:14 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I prefer the terms friend with benefits or fuckbuddy, over that of bootycall.  We didn't just fuck, we went out to movies, dinner, spent our lunch breaks together, etc.   We WERE (are) friends, that also happened to enjoy fucking each other.

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