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when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s rel... - 1/24/2010 10:38:22 PM

osf

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when would behaviour be so outside the bounds of a d/s relationship that punishment wouldn't be appropriate

and what would that behavior be?

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Post #: 1

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/24/2010 10:50:08 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when would behaviour be so outside the bounds of a d/s relationship that punishment wouldn't be appropriate

and what would that behavior be?

What do you mean?

If I behave out of line, I'm punished or scolded. If I make a decision without his input that is out of character, I explain it. If he approves, no harm no foul. If he didn't, I'm punished or scolded.

I dunno... maybe if I went nuts and killed someone. Then he wouldn't be punishing me, he'd be turning me over to the cops.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

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RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/24/2010 10:55:14 PM

osf

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Joined: 10/19/2009
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such as infidelity, or gossiping about him behind his back, really egregious behavior to include chronic willful disobedience

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 3

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/24/2010 11:10:48 PM

WyldHrt

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Sounds like you want to know what people would consider grounds for releasing their sub/slave. Is that what you would like to know?

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"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to osf)

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RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/24/2010 11:27:06 PM

osf

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Joined: 10/19/2009
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not necessarily release but how would it be handled to save the relationship if possible

when mere punishment doesn't seem fitting

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 5

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/24/2010 11:30:27 PM

WyldHrt

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Ah, much clearer.

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 1/24/2010 11:31:34 PM >

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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 6

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/24/2010 11:57:05 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

Standard opinions disclaimer applies.

"Outside the bounds of a D/s relationship".   If it is a Dom/sub relationship, then probably the old standby "communications" and "work together" stuff would apply. If Owner/property or consentual non-consent, there really isn't any behaviour outside the bounds. It's not like you go to work and say "I think I'll be vanilla today and act the way I want just coz I'm in a pissy mood and Master is an old crank-puss."

To address the examples....infidelity or dissing Master behind His back:   if the relationship has gotten to the point where that behaviour is even thought of let alone acted upon, it's not much of a relationship anymore. And no, punishment would probably not work.   At that time, probably a sit-down and hash-out of what's going on would be needed. If the slave is that far out of her space to behave like that, where is Master and His control? It's not like something like that would happen overnight. The punishment, if there were to be any, should have started long ago.   And the discipline and following through should have started long before that.

Probably waaaay off in left field with this one but a good thinker-uponer.

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The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 1:58:53 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when would behaviour be so outside the bounds of a d/s relationship that punishment wouldn't be appropriate

and what would that behavior be?

such as infidelity, or gossiping about him behind his back, really egregious behavior to include chronic willful disobedience

not necessarily release but how would it be handled to save the relationship if possible

when mere punishment doesn't seem fitting

in our relationship, punishment is representastive of a failure on BOTH of our parts...and we both suffer grief over the punishment.

deal breaker stuff would be just that.

for example, this slave has pledged her monogamous fidelity to Him. if He came home to find this slave in bed with someone else, He'd be royally pissed that He wasn't included...asked permission or at the very least, invited to join in...now, would he box up his sheet music and vacate the premises, never to be seen again? this slave isn't going to test the theory to find out!

if this slave knows that a particular behavior is going to end up with a possible release, like emptying the bank accounts one day in an online shopping spree of designer shoes... and she is seriously entertaining engaging in it...she would just go ahead and beg for the release in the first place...fuck the games.

(in reply to osf)

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RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 2:34:54 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
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quote:

if this slave knows that a particular behavior is going to end up with a possible release, like emptying the bank accounts one day in an online shopping spree of designer shoes...

Must.. not... reply....

quote:

she would just go ahead and beg for the release in the first place...fuck the games.

Or, you could make him meatloaf, sprouts and mashed potatoes for dinner...

[/hijack]

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 9

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 2:38:55 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

Or, you could make him meatloaf, sprouts and mashed potatoes for dinner...
[/hijack]

Ah...yes, the "Beg For Release Menu"...complete with Apple Juice as a beverage...

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 10

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:01:23 AM

ranja

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Joined: 11/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when would behaviour be so outside the bounds of a d/s relationship that punishment wouldn't be appropriate

and what would that behavior be?

Gross and purposely lack of respect

if i start to do my own stuff without asking or even talking to Him and i become careless of His feelings and totally in His face about not giving a damn about anything but myself...

well i think He would ignore me and start doing His own stuff too, totally disregarding me too... and i think He would be better and harder at being careless and ignorant, as He is waaaay more stubborn and sadistic than i am... He has proven it when we were still vanilla.

..... i feel that it is better to keep Him sweet and have fun instead
as i think there is noway either of us will release the other... so we would be stuck in an awful depressing mess if we don't respect eachother...

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 11

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:08:09 AM

xxblushesxx

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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

When the sub/slave does something outside of his/her character. If it seems that they are having emotional difficulties that can't be overcome with a spanking and/or a talk. Those are times (imo) it is time to take a step back from the d/s and just *be*.

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(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 12

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:30:10 AM

sweetboundesire

Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when would behaviour be so outside the bounds of a d/s relationship that punishment wouldn't be appropriate

and what would that behavior be?

hmmm...murder comes to mind;)

lol

depends....major trust breaches I suppose...
who knows...this question for my personal self would be something
along the lines of a continued deception but then again that wouldn't be me
if I was going to be like that then I wouldnt be in the D/s.....

_____________________________

and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to osf)

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RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:39:21 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If there is chronic willful disobedience, then there has been a failure in communication that has lasted for quite some time, a loss of respect that has existed for quite some time, and a huge amount of resentment that took a great deal of time to get to that point.

The punishment for the dominant of being such a piss poor dominant as to create such a relationship, is in having such a relationship. The punishment for the submissive is being submissive to such a poor dominant.

Any other questions?

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Post #: 14

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:40:35 AM

EbonyWood

Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

if this slave knows that a particular behavior is going to end up with a possible release, like emptying the bank accounts one day in an online shopping spree of designer shoes...

Isn't that just normal wife behavior.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 15

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:43:04 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

if this slave knows that a particular behavior is going to end up with a possible release, like emptying the bank accounts one day in an online shopping spree of designer shoes...

Isn't that just normal wife behavior.

not sure....never been a "normal" wife

(in reply to EbonyWood)

Post #: 16

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:44:06 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

such as infidelity, or gossiping about him behind his back, really egregious behavior to include chronic willful disobedience

I agree that if such behaviors are present, there isn't a relationship worth "saving". If I ever felt the urge to say anything less than flattering about my Master, I would have begged for release already.

On the other hand, I did recently behave 'outside' our M/s dynamic.

My daughter and her unborn son were dying. In an effort to save at least one of them, her doctor ordered emergency induction of labor at 32 weeks of pregnancy. Thankfully both lived and are doing well. But immediately after the birth my daughter called me and said simply "Mom, I really need you." I did not call my Master and ask Him what to do, which would normally be the first thing I would think of, the first thing I would do. But this time I called my job to ask for time off, which they granted. (I would have gone anyway) Then I called my daughter and told her I would be there the next day. Only then did I call my Master and did not ask permission but told Him what I was doing. In this case He didn't feel punishment was appropriate nor did He disagree with what I had done or how I had done it. Had He been less than understanding then I would want to be released anyway.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 17

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 4:46:28 AM

EbonyWood

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Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

if this slave knows that a particular behavior is going to end up with a possible release, like emptying the bank accounts one day in an online shopping spree of designer shoes...

Isn't that just normal wife behavior.

not sure....never been a "normal" wife

Touche.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 18

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 6:33:15 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

such as infidelity, or gossiping about him behind his back, really egregious behavior to include chronic willful disobedience

Ahh. Well I completely disagree with you that punishment wouldn't be appropriate. He would either punish or release me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 19

RE: when would behaviour be outside the bounds of a d/s... - 1/25/2010 1:22:42 PM

Exploratorynfun

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

Since I am fairly new to the submissive role, I would have to agree that if you feel the need to commit infidelity or talking trash then you really don't have a relationship to begin with in or outside the d/s relationship.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 20

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