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RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 10:57:31 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

The whole more dom than they can handle seems a little odd as a statement to me,


Is that like when you supersize a Dom? ;-)

- LA



If there is some sort of order form for that, could you shoot me an email?

*starts measuring dungeon just in case*

signed,
do-meperse

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And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 10:58:54 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

i've noticed something over the years on line that when a submissive woman comes on line complaining about how her dom treated her , all sympathy goes to her and every one clucks about what a bastard he was

Sometimes. Other times, the sub gets shredded for hir behaviour. It really depends on the OP which way it goes.
quote:

i never could understand that , i feel the presumption of innocence should be with the dom and that the submissive may have committed some transgression

Why would the presumption of innocence be with the Dom? That makes no sense to me.
quote:

it seems to me that the dynamic of what this is supposed to be about would point in that direction

Again, why?



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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:01:07 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i've noticed something over the years on line that when a submissive woman comes on line complaining about how her dom treated her , all sympathy goes to her and every one clucks about what a bastard he was

i never could understand that , i feel the presumption of innocence should be with the dom and that the submissive may have committed some transgression

it seems to me that the dynamic of what this is supposed to be about would point in that direction

i'd like others thoughts


I don't think there should be a presumption of anything for either side..


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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:02:01 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

I don't think there should be a presumption of anything for either side..

Agreed. I meant to add that to my post.


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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:07:47 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

i've noticed something over the years on line that when a submissive woman comes on line complaining about how her dom treated her , all sympathy goes to her and every one clucks about what a bastard he was

Sometimes. Other times, the sub gets shredded for hir behaviour. It really depends on the OP which way it goes.
quote:

i never could understand that , i feel the presumption of innocence should be with the dom and that the submissive may have committed some transgression

Why would the presumption of innocence be with the Dom? That makes no sense to me.
quote:

it seems to me that the dynamic of what this is supposed to be about would point in that direction

Again, why?




it just seemed to me that the subs always yelled louder and were coddled by the other subs online

it just seemed to me that they would get involved and then decide that they didn't like the conditions they knew were in place before they got involved

and i'm not speaking only of this site

i personally try to not discuss my affairs on line just for that reason because like most most of my starts don't pan out

so i keep it to myself

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i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:14:14 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
it just seemed to me that the subs always yelled louder and were coddled by the other subs online

it just seemed to me that they would get involved and then decide that they didn't like the conditions they knew were in place before they got involved

Not everything is as it seems.

quote:

and i'm not speaking only of this site

i personally try to not discuss my affairs on line just for that reason because like most most of my starts don't pan out

so i keep it to myself

Some people air out their own laundry, and others air out other people's laundry for them ;-)

- LA


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:32:51 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't think I agree with that. I have often seen a submissive told to stfu and BE submissive.


Jeff


Seconded.

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:49:01 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

The dom is always responsible. If he isn't he ain't a dom. It is what his function entails.

Only in the facets of the relationship which the dynamic surrendered unto Hir and only in the process and result if things were done as directed.


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I know that I'm to blame."
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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:51:02 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't think I agree with that. I have often seen a submissive told to stfu and BE submissive.


Jeff


Seconded.


Thirdededededed

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:53:37 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I have often seen a submissive told to stfu and BE submissive.

By hir partner of by an audience member? And are we more concerned about the tone than the substance of a phrase like that? What if it were phrased as:

"Stop the noise and start behaving in a manner respectfully conducive to the role you've decided to be in."


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"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:56:53 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I have often seen a submissive told to stfu and BE submissive.

By hir partner of by an audience member? And are we more concerned about the tone than the substance of a phrase like that? What if it were phrased as:

"Stop the noise and start behaving in a manner respectfully conducive to the role you've decided to be in."



I think the point was less the tone and more that subs don't automatically get coddled cause they are the subby-wubbys.

And yes I feel silly today damn it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:59:25 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was paraphrasing...:)

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 11:59:38 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I think the point was less the tone and more that subs don't automatically get coddled cause they are the subby-wubbys.

And yes I feel silly today damn it.

Oh! Gotcha.

And of course you feel silly, you've got ivy leaves stuck all over your body.

*itch/wriggle*

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 12:00:50 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I was paraphrasing...:)




_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 12:06:14 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		(Are you a goose or a duck? I've come to collect your liver. It won't be wasted  . )

Carry on.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 12:07:29 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		Damn this thread has a long title.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 12:07:56 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		More directly answering the OP:

There shouldn't be any presumption of innocence or guilt without an assessment of the information provided (which, unfortunately, is always one-sided...so there is merit to trying to take that into consideration).

I will say, however, that sometimes there is a leniency towards s-types in situations like these because the 'power' dynamic seems to suggest an underlying weakness in the s-type's position. It's just naturally easier to see the dominant partner as the 'bad' guy/girl because it's presumed the submissive partner is at a greater vulnerability.

I seem to recall in an old 'manipulation' thread I started that some occasional responders had difficulty even seeing the D-type as capable of being the subject of 'manipulation' at all (speaking hypothetically, since I personally don't even consider that entity real in any veridical sense).


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 12:30:30 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I will say, however, that sometimes there is a leniency towards s-types in situations like these because the 'power' dynamic seems to suggest an underlying weakness in the s-type's position. It's just naturally easier to see the dominant partner as the 'bad' guy/girl because it's presumed the submissive partner is at a greater vulnerability.



Good point by the beautiful man. I think that in reality people in apparently vulnerable positions are far more likely to be the manipulators. We make instant assumptions however, submissives more vulnerable and women too, that they are more likely the victims, it then reinforces the position to hide behind in the first instance.

It is as most people have said, it needs to be judged on facts given rather than presumptions and assumptions

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 12:33:27 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

in real life i've seen nasty d/s breakups even wind up in court with every one connected to them worried shitless


I've seen nasty vanilla breakups that wind up in court....People worried about losing their shit, their kids, etc.

You make little if any sense. 

However, don't worry she will probably let you hang on to your shoes.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 1/25/2010 12:34:02 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: i've noticed something over the years on line that ... - 1/25/2010 1:06:03 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

veridical





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Profile   Post #: 40
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