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AAkasha -> RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited by your own power only? (1/25/2010 10:30:42 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: smothrme
thank you for responding. so then your power comes into play after the attraction to the sub?
For me personally, the attraction comes first, then the desire to dominate If I am with a man socially or in a public situation and I am not attracted to him on some level, there's no desire to see him submit to me.
The desire to dominate is wrapped up in a few emotions for me - one can be affection (deep friendship and/or love), and another can be lust. It's feasible that I am undeniably attracted to a man I have never met, for example (a few professional hockey players come to mind, ahem) and want to dominate him in the worst way. Or see a man from across a room, and feel the urge. But if I get to know him and there's no chemistry, my lust to dominate is like the lust for sex - the desire diminishes if he becomes a turn off to me.
Additionally, all cylinders can be firing, I can have lust/affection, you name it, but once we actually get into the act, I still may find his style of "bottoming" to be a turn off. At that point we need to make some adjustments or just chalk it up to no chemistry. Still, the same can apply to vanillas getting together, right? Lots of couples have had lustful chemistry, only to hop into bed and realize they are bad partners sexually. Sometimes it can be worked out, other times it can't.
Akasha
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