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RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:12:44 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		maybe in your profile you should lie a lot

say how sensual, soft and cuddly you are and you'll cherish their gift forever



_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:13:33 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer
I hate trying to present a skewed perspective of myself.  Honesty has always been one of my defining principles, so...

Right.  Off to tweak with my profile :3



Who said you have to present a skewed perspective of yourself?! Don't!
Honesty and clarity, that's all anyone is asking for.


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to DarkRomancer)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:14:38 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

maybe in your profile you should lie a lot

say how sensual, soft and cuddly you are and you'll cherish their gift forever





LOL.... sometimes osf... you really bust me up...:)

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:15:35 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		If he's close to the Beaverton munch it might be his best bet..That sounds strangely promising.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:15:44 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

maybe in your profile you should lie a lot

say how sensual, soft and cuddly you are and you'll cherish their gift forever



Are you lying in your profile, osf? Do you secretly love snuggles and kittens?
I bet the gruff exterior is a total LIE! ;-P


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:17:10 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If he's close to the Beaverton munch it might be his best bet..That sounds strangely promising.



Who could pass up a Beaverton munch!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:17:50 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Your profile is an ad.  You are selling yourself on it.
If you are shopping for a convertible, and you see one ad that says "Convertible for sale" and 50 ads that say "2009 Convertible, low mileage, runs great, moving must sell - make an offer" do you think people are going to waste their time with the advertisement that gives no information?

Your profile is your resume.  You can focus on your lack of experience and skills, or you can focus on your talents and abilities. 

Attending munches, play parties gives you the opportunity to watch experienced players, learn techniques, meet people.  It is worth the effort of browsing online porno until you can find what you want.  Although I have never had any problems finding munches online with a simple search for "BDSM MUNCH (city/state)."



(in reply to jstkrs)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:22:18 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If he's close to the Beaverton munch it might be his best bet..That sounds strangely promising.



Who could pass up a Beaverton munch!


Not I.




_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:22:36 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer
I hate trying to present a skewed perspective of myself.  Honesty has always been one of my defining principles, so...

Right.  Off to tweak with my profile :3



Who said you have to present a skewed perspective of yourself?! Don't!
Honesty and clarity, that's all anyone is asking for.



First, ignore osf. You are way to be jaded like that ;-)

Secondly, if you might ask someone to interview you in a chat session. I've done this with friends in the past and it helps. They end up taking the transcripts and writing up a stellar profile.

Also, look for online dating profile tips. The vanilla ones are just as valid. Here is a good one that I find would work well for a Dominant man:

http://www.singleguyadvisor.com/online-dating-advice.html

- LA



_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:24:27 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Just be the person you like to see in the mirror... Put your hook in the water with openness and integrity! Sooner or later you will find someone that likes what they see as much as you do. It will be the worth the wait and effort

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DarkRomancer)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:25:13 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer

Okay, so here's the deal; yes, I am new to the scene, yes you could probably say I'm inexperienced.  Strike that, you could definitely say I'm inexperienced.  However since joining Collarme, I've had a total of one person respond to my messages.  Just one, and that's because we struck up a conversation about mmorpgs.

I mean, it might be that I only really look for subs/doms in my area, and that my area is a little divided, what with being right on the border of two states, but...  What's the deal?

I'm forward, I'm not being a creeper in most of my messages, and far as I can tell, my profile picture doesn't scare people off.

So sorry if this sounds like a bitchfit, I'd really just like to know the best way to actually get a response out of someone in a message.  After all, we all have to learn some time, and I can't seem to figure this out on my own.

Thanks in advance for your help guys ;3


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3027562
She makes some good points. I'll add that you don't have to participate and you don't have to agree with that way of lifestyle to learn from the person. Go there and observe for learning only if you like.


Okay did something wrong with that link lol.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 1/25/2010 11:36:48 AM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to DarkRomancer)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:27:33 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

maybe in your profile you should lie a lot

say how sensual, soft and cuddly you are and you'll cherish their gift forever



Are you lying in your profile, osf? Do you secretly love snuggles and kittens?
I bet the gruff exterior is a total LIE! ;-P



I heard rumours that at night, he and his goose cuddle in front of a roaring fire...

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:28:56 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Okay did something wrong with that link lol.


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3027562

Just click on Post #27 and then copy the link in the pop up window :-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:29:36 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer

Hrm, thanks for the advice.  Any specific idea where I would go about finding information on local meetings and things of the like?

I doubt I can just google "local bondage meets" without having to wade through a sea of porn and spyware...



You'd be surprised. Google "munches" in your area. The people who attend munches, dinners at public resturantes with like-minded folk, will be able to tell you were the local play groups are and, if needed, how to get invited.

What you might need is several scenes with what I refer to as a teaching bottom. The point of the scene is not to get in any particular headspace but to help you learn your skills. It's something I do when possible but I wouldn't feel comfortable agreeing to do a teaching bottom scene with random guy on the Internet. I much prefer to be asked at a munch or a play party where I can get a feel of the top in question.

The reason for this is doing a teaching scene where the bottom is giving tips to the top can be tricky. If the top isn't willing to take the advice or gets frustrated with the fact that the bottom isn't going floaty, it just ends up a mess. Also, from my point of view, I want the top to pay attention to my tips and listen - because if I'm going to scene and I know I'm not going to particularly get anywhere headspace wise, there isn't any point if they aren't going to take me seriously. If they aren't going to listen, I could spend that time playing with the dominant I've scened with several times before and know that he takes me where I wanna go every time.

Also, when you find someone to help you learn your skills, seek out someone who has experience receiving what you want to learn. IMHO, it's easier when the bottom can say "It feels like you are just grazing me with the flicker, try stepping in a bit".

YMMV

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DarkRomancer)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:31:18 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer

Hrm, thanks for the advice.  Any specific idea where I would go about finding information on local meetings and things of the like?

I doubt I can just google "local bondage meets" without having to wade through a sea of porn and spyware...



In post #13 I included a link for organizations and groups in your state. 

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to DarkRomancer)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:31:20 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

maybe in your profile you should lie a lot

say how sensual, soft and cuddly you are and you'll cherish their gift forever



Are you lying in your profile, osf? Do you secretly love snuggles and kittens?
I bet the gruff exterior is a total LIE! ;-P



I heard rumours that at night, he and his goose cuddle in front of a roaring fire...

- LA



Kinky... 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:32:46 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Take a hammer and smash your computer. It will necessitate you leaving your quarters and going to a shop to buy a new computer. Repeat until you meet a shop assistant who is the sub that you desire. (Please do tell us afterward how many computers you did buy and smash.)

(in reply to DarkRomancer)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:35:52 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Take a hammer and smash your computer. It will necessitate you leaving your quarters and going to a shop to buy a new computer. Repeat until you meet a shop assistant who is the sub that you desire. (Please do tell us afterward how many computers you did buy and smash.)


Disclaimer:

No computers were actually harmed in the making of this post. 

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:37:34 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

maybe in your profile you should lie a lot

say how sensual, soft and cuddly you are and you'll cherish their gift forever



Are you lying in your profile, osf? Do you secretly love snuggles and kittens?
I bet the gruff exterior is a total LIE! ;-P



I heard rumours that at night, he and his goose cuddle in front of a roaring fire...

- LA



Kinky... 



That reminds me of a joke. What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is a feather whereas perverted is the whole goose!

(Let's stop here as I'm treading lightly on the TOS beastie line ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:37:45 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Mine was. She's emotionally scarred now.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 40
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