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Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 10:50:22 AM   
okoncemore


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		I was recently told that it sounds like as a master, I am a slave to the slave.

As a master with a 24/7 TPE slave, it really is a hell of a lot of work.  We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.

Does this make us a slave to the slave?
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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 10:55:42 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Kind of a chicken or egg type question.

Depends upon who you ask and how they look at it. Not to mention the details of each relationship.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/26/2010 10:56:06 AM >

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 10:57:25 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		DO you FEEL like a slave?


Jeff

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 10:57:50 AM   
ItsAProcess


Posts: 62
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		I'd say, no.

Holding great responsibility doesn't make us a slave. Slaves generally have little responsibility outside making sure the one who owns them is satisfied with their service and submission.

Having great power does not make us a servant. Servants typically have very little power.

Those ideals, those beliefs, are merely used to keep those with power and responsibility.. well aware of their humility.

At least, that is my point of view. There are lots of YKINMK positions on this subject.

< Message edited by ItsAProcess -- 1/26/2010 10:58:29 AM >

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:01:13 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess
Holding great responsibility doesn't make us a slave. Slaves generally have little responsibility outside making sure the one who owns them is satisfied with their service and submission.


Really? So the only thing in a slaves life is their partner?

quote:


At least, that is my point of view. There are lots of YKINMK positions on this subject.


I don't know what you mean here, the ykinmk part.

To the OP, I think Jeff made a good point, and if your answer is yes then it would be up to you to change it so you didnt.


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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:05:23 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore
We make all the decisions


Except when you don't.

quote:

we provide all the nessecities.


Except when you don't.

quote:

Does this make us a slave to the slave?

Cannot speak for you... so do you?

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:07:22 AM   
cpK69


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quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore

Does this make us a slave to the slave?


I say, if you choose to be ‘Master’, then it is your choice to do so that you have become slave to; that is, if you plan to succeed.

Kim


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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:10:10 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess
Holding great responsibility doesn't make us a slave.

What does it make you?

quote:

Slaves generally have little responsibility outside making sure the one who owns them is satisfied with their service and submission.

Except when they do.  Or do you presume to speak for every Master who owns?

quote:

Having great power does not make us a servant.

OK.

quote:

Servants typically have very little power.

Except those that do (are you getting the idea yet?)

quote:

Those ideals, those beliefs, are merely used to keep those with power and responsibility.. well aware of their humility.

Except when it's not about power or responsibility but authority within the relationship.  One can have as much power and responsibility as they want - but without authority?  You do the math.

quote:

At least, that is my point of view. There are lots of YKINMK positions on this subject.

Except when it's not about kink but dominance and authority.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:11:11 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

Does this make us a slave to the slave?


If a Master is not a 'slave' to the relationship that defines them as 'master'; they ultimately will find themselves a slave to being alone.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:13:08 AM   
ItsAProcess


Posts: 62
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally


quote:

ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess
Holding great responsibility doesn't make us a slave. Slaves generally have little responsibility outside making sure the one who owns them is satisfied with their service and submission.


Really? So the only thing in a slaves life is their partner?

quote:


At least, that is my point of view. There are lots of YKINMK positions on this subject.


I don't know what you mean here, the ykinmk part.

To the OP, I think Jeff made a good point, and if your answer is yes then it would be up to you to change it so you didnt.



'Your Kink Is Not My Kink'.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:18:05 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		At no time have I personally ever felt like a slave. At no time have I ever felt submissive. I could go nilla, before I could go sub. It is just not something I "feel" on any level.


Jeffwey




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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:18:28 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		In a situation where you're dealing with humans who can be trusted to be an intelligent, competent extension of their Owner's will, generally not.  Though a much more interesting analogy is when you're dealing with animals, particularly of the dangerous sort that require significant work, safety tools and secure housing to keep properly.  The external perception is that the human is the glamorous "master" of the beast, but the day to day reality is a lot of shit shoveling, veterinary care, husbandry work and catering to the animal's needs.  Owning humans is considerably easier and much less likely to make the keeper feel like the kept, because humans can actively serve and take care of themselves as well as their Owners' needs.




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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:19:21 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You don't have to micromanage to be a master. If you choose to make every decision, no matter how small then you will be overwhelmed.

Smart dominants try to avoid burnout. Which means you don't need to instruct her on how much pepper in the jerk chicken recipe, you can just ask for jerk chicken. Or just ask for chicken dinner and let her decide what to do with it, or even delegate the decision making for meals to her.

Same with money. You can choose to work two jobs or you can accept the fact that in this economy both of you working makes life easier, or decide that her working part time is best.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:24:55 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		OP, what did you expect when you took on responsibility for another grown adult's life?

If it's all getting a bit much, delegate. It really is as simple as that.


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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:31:00 AM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		The proverb, " You reep what you sow, " comes to mind.

It requires a great deal of effort to maintain any form of relationship, on the all sides.

If the relationship is something you want and can afford on all levels, than you should be considered " devoted ".

On the other hand, you might what to search for the phrase, "topping from the bottom", just to make sure the other person was speaking of.

Hope this can help- fae

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:37:33 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore

I was recently told that it sounds like as a master, I am a slave to the slave.

As a master with a 24/7 TPE slave, it really is a hell of a lot of work.  We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.

Does this make us a slave to the slave?
You've had good answers already.  The one that I agree with tends to be Merc's position...tis not so much being a slave to the slave, tis more a matter of serving the dynamic and that has to come from both sides.  Remember that you are dealing with a human being and that human being has...or should have...some sense of maturity within them.  Even those that enter into the realm of "Daddy/little girl" are both well aware of being adults, even if they choose to go into the realm of the "little girl" always acting as the "little girl"...

But you are not talking about that here.  You are speaking of dealing with a human being who, presumably, has some smarts to go along with the maturity.  Sit down and talk with her.  Communicate to her... and make DAMN sure she communicates to you...what your thoughts and hers are on this matter. 

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 11:52:08 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess
'Your Kink Is Not My Kink'.


I know what the expression means, what I don't know is what you meant by it, how is any of what you wrote related to kink? Or am I being dense

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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 12:03:08 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore

I was recently told that it sounds like as a master, I am a slave to the slave.

As a master with a 24/7 TPE slave, it really is a hell of a lot of work.  We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.

Does this make us a slave to the slave?


Thanks for reminding me why 24/7 TPE doesn't appeal ;-)

I can't speak for 24/7 TPE because I've no experience of that kind of relationship. But I'd like to bandy my personal theory about ... For me to be happy in a D/S relationship there has to be an equality of benefit for both parties - If the word "equality" is a little incongrous in the context of D/s we could use "balance" (in the mystical eastern philosophy sense) - While the D/s dynamic implies inequality in the balance of power - I belive (personally and for myself) that a healthy relationship results in the balance being returned in another way..

She gives me submission, I give her security
She loses some control, I gain some responsibility
etc

does that make any sense?


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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 12:12:26 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore
Does this make us a slave to the slave?


A slave in the nonconsensual sense of the word has no rights. This is not applicable to you.

A slave in the consensual sense of the word has no rights but the right to stop. This is not applicable to you.

So no, basically. Considering something worth putting a great deal of time and effort into is not the same as being a slave to it.


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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 12:17:31 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.


sounds like life...not a Master/slave question

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