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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 5:28:24 PM

PrimalConsonance

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It would be unbearably oppressive for me, but I'm not wired that way. I imagine for someone inclined in that direction, while being the Master has its challenges, the rewards far outweigh them.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 6:39:01 PM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore
. . . We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.

Does this make us a slave to the slave?

It makes you their ruler, their leader, sovereign, guardian etc.

True, the president of the United States is my public “servant” but I don’t think of him as a slave.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/26/2010 8:36:08 PM

aldompdx

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One who feels enslaved by their choice may want to make a different choice.

Who says that a BDSM master cannot direct their BDSM slave to make choices? Or, to provide for some of their necessities?

TPE is an oxymoron. There is no such thing as total power, except in the imagination of a narcissist's ego. One cannot give or exchange their personal power. It is authority to exercise power which is delegated by ongoing choice.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/27/2010 4:04:29 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: itsmeinLV

I agree with LaTigresse's very first post. And btw, a slave's responsibility isn't only making sure her/his Master/Mistress is happy. It is his/her number one priority however, NOT the only responsibility. And the Master/Mistress providing all the necessities isn't always the case either.

It might be the number one priority in many people's relationships but not in mine. There's never been any mention of me "making sure he's happy" and I've never once been expected to. I don't put him first, I put me first....if what he wants means I have to put me second , then that's what he'll have . But it's not my first priority, I leave that up to him to sort out.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/27/2010 5:14:32 AM

thishereboi

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When I lived with my Mistress 24/7, she didn't make all the decisions or provide all the necessities, so no, she wasn't a slave.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/27/2010 7:39:05 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore

As a master with a 24/7 TPE slave, it really is a hell of a lot of work. We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.

Really? Try working 40 plus hours a week, fight rush hour traffic, come home and make dinner. Then serve that dinner in the manner your Master desires. Then clean up the house, do a load of laundry, all why trying to pay attention to said Master, and while staying "pleasing". Follow that up with what ever bedtime ritual you follow. And that's if you don't have kids.

Both sides require effort. Both sides contribute.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/27/2010 7:49:18 AM

LillyoftheVally

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quote:

ORIGINAL: itsmeinLV

I agree with LaTigresse's very first post. And btw, a slave's responsibility isn't only making sure her/his Master/Mistress is happy. It is his/her number one priority however, NOT the only responsibility. And the Master/Mistress providing all the necessities isn't always the case either.

Nah is not always the number one priority, totally depends on context. If I was with someone and say was at work my number one priority wouldnt be what s/he wanted for dinner or whether s/he wanted sex or whatever it would be work.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/28/2010 4:59:35 AM

derangedmaniac

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This is a very intriguing discussion.. however it fits into my hate of philosophy. Why think that way? You are the Master, I am the slave (or whatever situation you are in) and that's that- no need to bog down on technicalities. Technicalities are annoying!

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/28/2010 8:26:28 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore

I was recently told that it sounds like as a master, I am a slave to the slave.

As a master with a 24/7 TPE slave, it really is a hell of a lot of work. We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.

Does this make us a slave to the slave?

I once knew a man who had certain notions of what a master "must be", and he held to them, even though these notions limited him and ultimately lost him his slave. He was confined by his own ideals, and, as a result, did not find himself very happy. I once told him he was a slave to his own mind, because in living that way, he was not free to truly be himself and to enjoy the benefits that would have come to him.

This is not to say slaves are not free to be themselves. If a slave is being true to him/herself by being a slave, then that's exactly where he/she needs to be. If a master is unfulfilled by being enslaved to his/her ideals, then perhaps it's time to rethink things.

There have been some interesting assumptions on this thread. One that stuck out is that a master/leader is not a servant. I wholly disagree. Servant does not equal submissive/slave. Look around in society - lots of leaders are also servants.

It was said that a master makes 100% of the decisions. What if one of his/her decisions is for the slave to have autonomy and responsibility for a particular area of their lives?

It was said that a slave's priority is to make the master happy. What if the master holds him/herself accountable for his/her own happiness (as many do)? This would surely be a failure on the slave's part waiting to happen.

Finally - I LOVED Merc's answer. Depending on how you're defining "slave," you can really be a slave to anything - to a relationship, to being single, to your job, etc. I think we can over-analyze this a bit, and lose site of what we're really doing - enjoying a relationship that works well for us.

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RE: Who's the slave? - 1/28/2010 10:28:18 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: okoncemore

I was recently told that it sounds like as a master, I am a slave to the slave.

As a master with a 24/7 TPE slave, it really is a hell of a lot of work. We make all the decisions, we provide all the nessecities.

Does this make us a slave to the slave?

Try thinking of your role from your lists of wants and needs first and foremost. Are you the master or not? Part of being an owner is being selfish in my very strong opinion.

Then instead of focusing on doing everything learn to delegate and exercise your authority when you want and how you want.

Your partner wants more, you feel drained by that... guess what? You aren't compatible then.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/28/2010 10:30:24 AM >

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