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ORIGINAL: Voodali

Surely a boy who took the time to follow instructions and be polite should be rewarded with a reply.  But if he's...well... unattractive enough that you can't see yourself wanting to work with him...and you don't want to lead him on, what do you do ?  Do you come right out and tell him that you're not attracted to him ? Do you play the bitch card and crush his feelings or manipulate him for personal gain ? Do you accept coffee with him anyway, in hopes that you can overcome your shallowness ?  Do you plan to give him a makeover and mould him into something pretty ? Do you not respond to his amazingly coherent letter ? Do you lie ?
I'm curious if other Dommes have a formula for dealing with this.

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ORIGINAL: Voodali

In response to Lafayette, I can see how you could deduce from what I wrote that I was heartless, full of myself, an etiquette retard, and capable of sinking low enough to punish someone for being unattractive to me. I do not consider being ugly a crime, which is why it matters to me how I deal with it.  I, myself am not a fashion model, and have often been on the wrong end of a rejection, which is why I give a crap how I handle this in the first place. Lest my sterling CM reputation be tarnished, I should probably clarify that the options I offered in my original post are not all ones that I would consider. I am curious how OTHERS deal with this situation.

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ORIGINAL: Voodali

Thank you for your responses. While the "thanks but no thanks" letter seems he most mature and sensible, I guess I always fear the return letter asking "why no thanks ?", because then I have to come out and say it.  I am quite happy to paddle someone until the skin breaks, or humiliate them in a way I know delights both of us, but emotional sadism is not for me.
In the past, how I have dealt with it is to write letter praising the boy's attempt and telling him that despite the fact that he writes wonderfully, is intelligent and seems like a good candidate, I simply am not attracted to him (which I feel very shallow saying based on a photograph).  I know that these sorts of rejections are forever remembered on some level, and can, depending on the person's temperament, eat away at self esteem. No one should be punished for putting themselves out there and trying to meet someone.
I am tempted not to answer at all sometimes because everyone knows that a lot of profiles are fake or abandoned, so it would come as no surprise if no reply came.
That said, many a beautiful person has sorely disappointed me, so I will meet a person who is not physically attractive.  I just think it fair to let them know from the getgo that I probably will not develop any romantic or sexual feelings.  Service doesn't have to be romantic or sexual, but that is what some boys, and ultimately I seek.
I would be interested to know what the majority of boys themselves would prefer, clear, honest rejection, service with the knowledge that it could never be romantic or sexual or just no reply.

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ORIGINAL: notinferior

I can't speak for any person but myself.  When I get a "reject", I'd rather know the reason.  I hate people who say "I don't think we would be compatible, good luck in your search."  I find it condescending and presumptuous, not to mention completely lacking in strength.  I would rather read:  "Thank you for your letter, I truly was moved by it.  I can tell you are a highly intelligent man with a passion that speaks well of your gender.  Sadly, though, I am not physically attracted to your photo.  I know this sounds rather shallow, but the fact is that I am looking for a man I find appealing mentally, physically and morally.  No doubt you feel the same.  I do hope you value honesty more than tack."

Now, to have the courage to send something like that would take the most incredibly powerful woman in the world and I, as a man, would find her all the more desireable.  I would also, regrettably, honor her wishes.  I suppose, though, that I am a little different than most men.  Many would write back and flame you.  Others might try to find out where you lived......