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RE: What were you looking for? - 1/27/2010 6:57:16 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

i can't imanage why i thought i could settle for dominance and play,
 

I think it depends on the people involved.  I had a wonderful D/s relationship, not love, and I can honestly say it was the most enriching and kindest I have ever experienced. 


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/28/2010 12:17:58 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		I was completely and totally not looking.  I knew I had submissive tendencies, but had in the past had a few VERY damaging experiences with men and had no interest in giving myself in that way to anyone.

Master found me, and there was an instant connection the first time we truly talked.  And he pursued me despite my hesitance and fear, because of that connection.  When I finally submitted to him, it was bliss.  And has been ever since.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/28/2010 2:02:53 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		It seems like most people found their Dom/Master when they were not looking. I think that is just great( no sarcasm). Like the song"I was not looking but somehow you found me". I must admit i was looking but i was on the verge of giving up and saying this is not gonna work. I never did msg anyone i was too busy responding to all tha mail i got. Sure glad i made it a point to read all my mail. That is how i fond Master by his one liner.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/30/2010 1:55:31 AM   
atypicalsub


Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline 		Honestly I never expected a romantic relationship.  I had never been in a bdsm relationship before.  After a number of years of reflection I had come to the realization that the traditional relationship model just did not work for me.  Mostly I realized that traditional relationships had not worked for me because as the male I was always expected to take the dominant position and I was never comfortable with that.  So this was realy a sort of experiment to try a totaly different type of relationship.  I was completely open about this with any dominant that showed an interest in me.  I have always been openly bisexual but most of my friends expected me to end up living with a gay man.   I ended becoming the housepet for a lesbian couple who were also bring a female slave into their home.  The agree just being that I would do the cleaning and maintainance tasks.  In return I expected only some petting and an occational cuddle just as you would give a dog.  Afterward the situation changed abruptly.  My Mistress"s partner ran off with their female slave leaving only the two of us.  I helped her through the break up, recovery, and a very bad year that followed.  She is still astonished that she could be in love with a man but here we are.



_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)


(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/30/2010 6:33:06 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		someone who identified as dominant, had experience with BDSM and going to clubs, dungeons & events based on folks' interest in Alternative Lifestyles such as D/s, M/s and participation with BDSM that was willing to take this slave along with.

this slave was looking to relocate to LA from a rural area 200 miles north of the LA area, as her responsibilities as custodial parent and caretaker of 13 acres were winding down. she was in search of friendship...hopefully some fulfilling sex...but had no expectation whatsoever that she would find anyone who was interested in a relationship with a woman who not only had absolutely NO dominant tendencies, inclinations or "dominant side" to their personality, but hadn't ever successfully functioned as an independent, self supporting adult at 36 years of age.

wasn't looking for "The One", a "Master", a husband or other relationship partner...didn't identify as slave, either...just hopelessly submissive.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 1/30/2010 6:35:05 AM >

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/31/2010 8:14:40 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		i'm not in a 'romantic' d/s relationship, however, it started as beat/fuck buddy and friends, turned romantic, turned to shit, now back to where we started from the get-go.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/31/2010 8:22:34 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I wasn't looking for anything.  I had my life allllll set up.  My friends here on CM were fabulous, interesting people.

And then poof! 


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/31/2010 8:33:21 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I am not in a romantic relationship, at the moment. However, I really get annoyed when people say, "just stop looking, that is when you will find love".

Please...give me a huge break. Whenever I met the loves of my life, we were both looking. Looking as in making yourself available by utilizing whatever methods people use to meet people.

What is the alternative to, "not looking" if you want to connect with someone? Just hanging out on the forums hoping that Mr. or Ms. Fab will read some sterling post of yours and fall instantly in love?

I understand about having your life in order, being emotionally ready, enjoying your friends and your interests, but let's face it; you need to actually look for someone, like you look for a job.

Sitting home wishing will not get you a job or a love.

And for those in love who will accuse me of being bitter; I am not. I am happy with who I am, have had intense love in my life and for that reason, want to find it all again.

Nothing wrong with wanting to share the person you have developed with a partner and look for that.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/31/2010 8:43:19 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
So that is the background the question for those who are in a romantic D/s relationship, Were you looking for a partner for occisional play whom you were frineds with or were you looking for a relationship?


I was looking for a way to get off on kink. I wanted no romantic involvement or any kind of involvement other than the times we met physically. It was purely to fill a huge void in my life. And then I fell in love with him and couldn't get enough.

_____________________________



(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What were you looking for? - 1/31/2010 11:23:42 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
So that is the background the question for those who are in a romantic D/s relationship, Were you looking for a partner for occisional play whom you were frineds with or were you looking for a relationship?

I was looking for play and had no desire for a committed relationship. I was still married - though separated - and still felt committed to "fixing" my marriage. I started off my dialogue with Master by telling Him that right up front, too. But, from our first conversation, there was obviously a deep connection there. It didn't take me long to decide to proceed forward with Him and stop trying to fix the virtually unfixable. We both got waaaayyyy more than we bargained for

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 30
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