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RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/1/2010 5:15:40 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Ms. Mlicious just acquired a new sub male. He cannot believe his incredible luck. I keep telling him that it isn't all luck. He has a good profile, he is in good shape, and he showed up for the meeting. If a sub male is serious about meeting a dominant woman, he will be successful.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to OMGlikegagme)

Post #: 21

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/1/2010 5:56:40 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

Link just above (in slavekal's sig) is broken.
Try this 'un:
http://hermajestysplaything.blogspot.com/2008/12/courage-to-submit.html?zx=ca74550aaefbe2da

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 22

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/1/2010 7:25:53 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Thanks for letting me know. I will fix my signature right away.

< Message edited by slavekal -- 2/1/2010 7:33:05 PM >

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 23

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/2/2010 4:11:38 AM

Futuresocks

Posts: 112
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline

The pickens are slim. At first, I didn't think I could serve a woman in the presence of another man, but I quickly adapted. If a dude is lucky, the ratio is like 4 or 5 to 1 Domme. Then again, that doesn't matter seeing as how just finding the right person is a challenge. I'm not usually concerned with how many are in service, only with the contract we have and what my service will entail.

(in reply to OMGlikegagme)

Post #: 24

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/2/2010 6:53:16 AM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Futuresocks

The pickens are slim. At first, I didn't think I could serve a woman in the presence of another man, but I quickly adapted. If a dude is lucky, the ratio is like 4 or 5 to 1 Domme. Then again, that doesn't matter seeing as how just finding the right person is a challenge. I'm not usually concerned with how many are in service, only with the contract we have and what my service will entail.

Great answer! When I started a poly-house with a gay lover, I told him I wanted a slave. He was quite nervous until I said, "Your relationship with me won't change. He will not be my lover anymore than you will be my slave. You two will each have a distinct relationship with me. You two will have to (with my help and counsel) have to figure out what the relationship is between the two of you."

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to Futuresocks)

Post #: 25

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/2/2010 1:40:51 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

How is it out there? I hear the ratio of submissive men per Dominant woman is pretty high. If so, do you find you have changed what is on your wish list? or changed your standards at all? What is your take on it?

Hell, I'm not even looking anymore. In my experience, it's not so much a problem of finding dominant women - I meet a lot of dominant women with compatible kink interests. It's a question of finding dominant women with compatible vanilla interests. I don't meet many of those, and the few that I do, I just don't happen to be attracted to. And part of the reason for that is, way too many of the women i meet don't seem interested in much beyond kink. It's all kink, all the time, and there are few things I find less interesting when I'm getting to know someone.

I'm pretty much done with it. I just don't feel like wasting the time anymore holding out for finding everything in one package. My wish list right now consists of someone i really like, am attracted to, love talking with and spending time with, and who has similar and compatible goals and outlook on life. If she's kinky, great, if she's not, let's go canoeing. If I have to settle for one or the other, it makes more sense to settle for someone in the vanilla realm than the kinky realm, because most people live most of their lives in the vanilla world. And, it's a much larger pool to fish in.

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)

Post #: 26

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/3/2010 9:37:29 AM

rhpaw

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Supply and demand / Dommes can be really picky and sub have to lower expectation and then some.

_____________________________

If at first you don't suceed why not try the way mistress told you to do it you dumass.
If you worry about what people think of you. You'd be surprized how seldom they do.

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)

Post #: 27

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/3/2010 12:57:48 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I don't think we really have to lower our standards. So many dominant women complain that there are no sincere submissive males. If you are the real deal, you can find a Mistress.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to rhpaw)

Post #: 28

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/3/2010 9:11:22 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Ratio is almost irrelevant. If a sub male is single, stays in reasonable shape, shines his shoes and wears clean clothes, and actually SHOWS UP for a meeting, he moves right to the head of the line.

i tend to agree with Slavekal. Ratio is pretty much irrelevant. A decent guy can get a girl any time he wants to (at least that's been my experience).

i NEVER change or lower my expectations. To me, D/s relationships are no different from vanilla relationships. Finding a potential partner is easy, but finding the right partner is hard and can take a very long time. Patience is the key.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 29

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/4/2010 7:46:52 AM

atypicalsub

Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I don't think we really have to lower our standards. So many dominant women complain that there are no sincere submissive males. If you are the real deal, you can find a Mistress.

I think something a lot of subs fall into is trying too hard to get a Domme to notice them. While it may get some attention after a very brief communication the Dommes realize they have something in their profile that they do not have a sincere interest in. This immediately sends a message that they are phony and the Dommes loose any interest they had. So yes, be real, be yourself. It may take longer for anyone to notice you but you are far more likely to find someone who is compatible.

_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 30

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/4/2010 8:33:39 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

It's difficult to find a compatible woman, vanilla or Domme. I agree with Panda, vanilla interests are where you are going to be most of the time. There can be an over-all D/s mindset, but so much in live is vanilla.

Since I like Jane Austen, period dramas and romantic comedies, my taste in films meshes with most women. That helps! I do draw the line at 'Beaches', though.

(in reply to atypicalsub)

Post #: 31

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/4/2010 8:47:13 PM

MzMinx

Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

*laughs softly* hmmm I hate period dramas and Jane Austin ......

I do not think any one should lower their standards.... dominant .. submissive .. kink free ... it doesnt matter, they should be seeking what suits them and their needs...

otherwise it does feed into that belief that a submissive is just seeking anyone who will hold a flogger or wear high heels ... rather than truly desireing to be with that person

< Message edited by MzMinx -- 2/4/2010 8:59:24 PM >

(in reply to trueshadow)

Post #: 32

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/5/2010 9:28:45 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Love submaleinzona's post!! Well said!!

< Message edited by AcademyForSlaves -- 2/5/2010 9:30:03 PM >

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to submaleinzona)

Post #: 33

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/5/2010 11:23:19 PM

LadyOddsworth

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMinx

*laughs softly* hmmm I hate period dramas and Jane Austin ......

I do not think any one should lower their standards.... dominant .. submissive .. kink free ... it doesnt matter, they should be seeking what suits them and their needs...

otherwise it does feed into that belief that a submissive is just seeking anyone who will hold a flogger or wear high heels ... rather than truly desireing to be with that person

Beaches, ewwww

_____________________________

We all have baggage, the question is; Is it carry on or do you need a U-haul for it?

(in reply to MzMinx)

Post #: 34

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/6/2010 2:23:09 AM

Santoro

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline

Meeting dominant women is never a challenge and I agree with you stavekal, grooming, body conditioning and a self-assured social graciousness is a positive in every lifestyle. Irrespective of dominance or submission a timely arriving for meetings is a simple courtesy and naturally follows but it is not the meeting that is significant, it is what occurs during the first few minutes and how quickly one determines how to gracefully terminate that meeting or pursue it further.

Meeting others offers no reason to assume anything beyond the potential to squander and waste your time but that rarely has been the case, especially as of late, each of the ladies I have meet recently knew how to dance, could hold their liquor and didn’t have to watch me to see which fork to use first.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 35

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/7/2010 11:19:35 AM

humble75

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: offline

I think this ratio situation is good.. Gives them even more power somehow. Its something right about us having to line up like puppies hoping for a new owner or something like that.

(in reply to Santoro)

Post #: 36

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/7/2010 7:49:48 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

The ratio can actually work in our favor. When a Mistress has more than one slave, instead of being jealous, a slave should look at the positives. Having brother slaves means dividing the work. Buying gifts for her is a lot easier when several men are chipping in. If you are unavailable one day, one of the other slaves can step up, so you don't have to feel guilty about Mistress not being properly served.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to humble75)

Post #: 37

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 2/8/2010 1:35:59 PM

sjskuared

Posts: 51
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline

It is a problem for me, most of the women I contact never respond and I am not "out" there since I am in the closet. I do meet people for dates at restaurants or other public places. I also find that alot of the women who are online are not serious.

Now, I am one who hasn't changed his standards. I am not interested in anyone who is married or who is a pro because there is just no emotional connection there either.

I also have gone back and forth dating vanilla and dommes.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 38

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 3/9/2010 2:50:09 PM

bootdegrade

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

Maybe it's harder; difficult to say, since I've never been dominant, nor female.

I think it's like any other relationship. It's never easy to find someone. But it's worth it when you do. So you keep looking, you hope to get lucky, and you take care of who you try things with.

It's not about quantity, though. It's about quality. After all, finding a Dom/me isn't the same as finding a good one.

And, on the other side, it's like looking for a job. There may be 10,000 applicants and only one position... but I'm only one person, and I only NEED one position. So all I have to do is be better/luckier than the other 9,999 and I'll be fine. ;)

(in reply to sjskuared)

Post #: 39

RE: A Question for Straight Male Subs/Slaves - 3/9/2010 3:12:16 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rhpaw

Supply and demand / Dommes can be really picky and sub have to lower expectation and then some.

Makes more sense that both sides quit expecting perfection in a dom or a sub. Granted we all have areas which we will not compromise on, yet many forget the fact which you get what you put forth.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to rhpaw)

Post #: 40

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