RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (Full Version)

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xxblushesxx -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 11:09:35 AM)

I hesitate to put this one out there because it's just so WEIRD but...I got this one last week: "Hey there. Did you ever fart in the bath tub and smell the bubbles? Stinks like shit doesn't it?"

Then he sent another one that said "well, doesn't it?"

(some weird mf's here man...)



CalifChick -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 11:09:53 AM)

Any one or two-liner using the word "holes".

Cali



CarrieO -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 11:13:04 AM)

Recieved a lovely one last night... "I bet that icy chair would feel great on my balls" [:'(]

"Do you like oral worship?"

"Are you looking for a foot slave?"

"You are a fat girl.  Do you have a big ass?"  (I list my weight...no issue for me)

"Hi"



jstkrs -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 12:01:51 PM)

-Do you smoke
-Do you like to fuck
-Do you have any hot single girlfriends
The best one I got was "my balls, your mouth, made for each other"

Do they really expect a response or is it like virtual flashing for wank factor?
DELETE, BLOCK



frazzle -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 12:51:03 PM)

I love the do you smoke, it says i do in the profile they didnt read.

My usual reply... Cant say ive ever looked, but if your good i certainly get hot.

Ok im warped[:)]



lusciouslips19 -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 12:51:04 PM)

I just got one that said,

"Take your Jew Ass to NYC".

I tried to write back to let him know Chicago was quite satisfactory but i wouldn't be caught dead with the simpletons of his town.
I was blocked before one response. COWARD!



Jeffff -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 12:52:47 PM)

You might want to mention that next time someone yells.."COMMUNITY!"...:0


Jeff



LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 1:22:27 PM)

Just got one that read, "good afternoon".

My reply:  "yep"



dreamofthemoon -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 1:57:58 PM)

"I'd speak with you and train you."

[8|]



frazzle -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 2:11:00 PM)

Just tracked down one of the funniest ive had.

"hello master and i hope to be your slave girls very soon master"



sunshinemiss -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 2:25:18 PM)

I once got a
"and how is this girl today?  Does she want to be taken?  What is this girl's.... blah blah blah."

I wrote back... "Hey, you know that third person speak is for Gorean girls who are on punishment.  What'd you do that got you in trouble?"

They don't like that... *shrug*  I was just being helpful... and gossipy.



HotFaerieMama -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 3:45:49 PM)

this thread is funny..

a few i've gotten..

"dear mistress will you please tie my balls up?"

" hi" ( i think everyone gets that one)

and more than  a few that are 4 paragraphs long.. from some "Dom" telling me what i need/what. ( as if he really knows cuz.. he don't know me)



oceangem -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 6:09:04 PM)

nice rack
nice ass



intenze -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 6:27:21 PM)

like diapers?



sunshinemiss -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 7:18:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceangem

nice rack
nice ass



Nice Santa hat.



KatyLied -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 8:56:09 PM)

Are you collared?  Please dominate me.


(huh? at least he was polite)



girlygurl -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 9:14:01 PM)

Hi Mistress
Hi
how r u
xyz@yahoo.
I want to love you
Do you have a hairy pussy
I know I'm not your type but....
Do you like diapers
Will you feed me


ETA: this latest cmail "wow nice body for 47" [8|]

Blushes, that cmail is too damn funny! Weird, but funny!



MistressKitty123 -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 9:26:12 PM)

I just got one begging to be my toilet slave.   I specify I'm not looking for a toilet slave.



ResidentSadist -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/28/2010 9:32:45 PM)

Longest opening sentence:

I SEND MAIL TOO ALL AM LOOKING FOR HERE IS TO FINE MR RIGHT THAT I WILL SERVE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AM NOT HERE FOR GAMES PLAY AM HERE FOR LONG AND LASTING RELASHIONSHIP AND IF U RE REALLY INTRESTED U CAN REPLY ME BACK OK THANKS AND GODBLESS U SIR.

… and yes, there was more.



WyldHrt -> RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've received it anyway (1/29/2010 12:40:27 AM)

*sigh* This just in....

"How would u like to be stripped bare and bent over a bar stool and have your hands handcuffed to the legs while you're helpless to stop me from using you for anything i can think of? Like to be controlled and have your lil ass smacked while you're helpless to do anything but take it? Feeling me bending your lithe little body over the stool pulling down your tight lil undies as i flip up the miniskirt you're wearing, letting the cool air hit your supple little buttcheeks. Pinning you by putting my strong hand on your back as I bend down blowing slightly on your puckered lil asshole watching you squirm as your lil slit moistens. "Thats a good lil dirty girl," i say, placing my tip of my tongue on your clit and slowly tracing it up between your legs navigating my way up your lil asscrack 'til I get to the small of your back, watching your eyes close with delight. Pulling my tongue from you smacking your ass hard watching it wobble and turn red as u jump a little, still squirming over the stool...clutching both your asscheeks in my hands, kneading them like dough before slapping them again watching as your pussy gets wetter and wetter with every punishing blow i put on your ass. Pulling your hair back, yanking back your head as i buckle a collar around your neck, fastening a little chain to it and then hooking it to the stool..."



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