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LadyAngelika -> RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? (2/2/2010 3:57:57 PM)
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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Food for thought in these words about love and relationships . . . my personal formula for successful TPE. Worked for me, may not work for you but, it does examine the entire process of how to fall in love. Have fun tearing it appart or building it up.
-=LOVE AND SURRENDER=-
The gap between ego and spirit is unavoidable. It would seem impossible to close this gap, since spirit and ego are opposites. Bringing them together is achieved through surrender, and the only force that can accomplish this is love. Surrender, then, is the next phase on loves journey, which you enter as soon as you choose to be in a relationship.
-Deepak Chopra
Had to quote the Chopra! I totally believe in this. I think that when I'm involved with a man, even if he is submissive to me, I surrender to him and the dynamic just as much. I've been called a hopeless romantic with friends. But that is the part of me that likes extreme sensations: sadomasochism, mad love, extreme rollercoasters ;-) I need to feel alive.
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-=HOW TO BEGIN A SUCCESSFUL POWER EXCHANGE=-
Even in the very beginnings when exploring a power exchange relationship, when you don't “trust each other with your lives” yet, nothing in the emotional connection can be private. Not one fear, lust, kink or emotion can be withheld in the beginning if you plan to succeed. You may not have each other's banking information at that point but, nothing is secret when relevant to exposing who you are, what you want, how you feel or what you do.
To exchange control, you both must expose yourselves in order to learn. How can you start a power exchange if you don't know what makes the other person tic, what power to give or take? There can be no secrets, especially if it conflicts with paying respect to the bond. Neither Master nor slave can hold secrets or limit exposure if they are to succeed. Treat the power exchange with respect, remain exposed and steadfast in your roles.
So very true. I always thought that D/s had the potential to bring 2 people closer together, faster than in most vanilla contexts. That is the reason why I need to feel that there is going to be potential for love before I embark on what is is that I do.
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-=HOW TO SUCCEED AT TPE=-
To me, successful TPE (Total Power Exchange) requires complete trust and commitment. It has to run both ways or neither will gain it. You must commit to both your role in the relationship and each other. If you are not committed to exchanging all physical, mental and emotional dynamics, then it isn't a total exchange is it?
Mutual trust requires mutual exposure. Exposure is vulnerability. Vulnerability proves trust. Trust inspires love and makes surrender and control possible. If you are to succeed at a 100% power exchange, there is no room for secrets or privacy on either part under any pretense. My power to control comes from completely exposing who I am, not from false invulnerability created by guarding my exposure to you.
Well said. I agree. Though *for me* this inevitably means love, I can see how this relationship can happen with simple respect and without deep romantic love.
- LA
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